In this week’s docket, we present evidence on everything from stretchy belts and Christmas movies to the controversial new vape that the jury (us) unanimously hates. We enter into the record yet another attempt to quit Dr Pepper, review allegations of nail-tech upselling and emotional damages, and debate whether old baby names are officially making a comeback.

We also conduct an on-scene investigation of the Sonic red-light wreck, examine the chain of custody for the infamous “cigarette gate” text messages, and file a report on Maui Wowie, Summer Walker’s new album, knee-driving, and TikTok hair cream. Court is in session, and chaos is admissible.