CEO Stories 070: Learning to Say No

High achievers often struggle to cut back and put up boundaries. MemberVault Co-Founder Erin Kelly is no exception. After years and seasons of pushing hard, she’s learning to say no so she has room to say the right yes and she’s sharing her advice with us today. Erin had an 8 month old, she had not left him yet, but she had an opportunity to go down to a mastermind conference.  She really struggled over mom versus business owner. She decided to go and even pump in the bathroom at the airport. She ended up growing a lot on the trip, and it was really good for her. After the intense weekend, she was really frazzled and vulnerable.  There was an opportunity to join a mastermind podcast startup. She knew the opportunity did not feel right, but she said yes and pushed through anyways.  She knew she looked like a hot mess on the call and was really hard on herself. She judged and shamed herself.   After the call, she sat back and realized that she did not need this opportunity at this point.  She had to step back and send an email that she had to back out. Don’t say yes and drain your energy to something that does not make sense for your business at that time.   A lot of high achieving entrepreneurs do push through on things that seem scary and may be a stretch.  Adding the thoughts of “am I enough” just made her take on something that she couldn’t take on. Just recently Erin turned down a summit that she knew would be good for her business.  She had committed her boundaries that her afternoons would be for her toddler. The only time the summit would be available was the afternoon slot.  She stuck to her boundaries, and Erin was able to say no. It actually felt good to say no. Just because you say no does not mean you are killing an opportunity.  The right thing will then have the availability and space to come in. She was terrified that having a child would be a bad thing for her business.  After meeting her husband, they talked, and she realized that was not necessarily the case.  Becoming a mom actually has helped her pay more attention to the value of time. A lot of her ideas come when she is with her child or meditating while he is napping.   They thrive on the unconventional lifestyle.  Being on the road, staying in camp grounds, juggling life, has been her normal.  Erin is looking forward to putting down some roots with this second child. To combat the feelings of being not enough- Erin is reading a happiness book right now.  One of the things is a gratitude practice. This helps her see how much she does have. The next part is meditating and quieting her brain.  You control your own thoughts.