This week, FreeWorld gets its signature all-encompassing USA attraction that will undoubtedly draw guests from not just the states, but from the rest of the world. First up, Scottye joins his pal Michael Bay for The Totally Real Story Of The American Revolution, which as stated does involve Michael Bay, so I hope you like lizard people, jets, and girls in bikinis because this attraction will be right up your alley. Then, Jim gets decocratic as he does a mostly themeless motion simulator known as The Two Party System, a majority-wins rollercoaster that can be different every time, but not too different. Independent riders shall be mocked and shamed toward the exit, we promise.

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