Chasing Happiness with Ryan DeMent

Instant gratification cost me a year of dinners, all because I decided one more email mattered more than being present with my family. That is instant gratification: short-term pleasure, long-term pain. I chose comfort over character.

In this episode of Chasing Happiness, I talk about why the easy yes wins, what it costs, and how to choose differently. The pleasure comes now and the bill comes later. For me, that bill was time I missed with my dad, and I can't get that back.

We talk about the stories we tell ourselves to make it okay, why the people in your house are watching how you handle the easy yes, and the small harder choices that help you stay present with your faith, your family, and the people you love. I'm not looking for perfection. I'm working on showing up every single day and being consistent.

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Where are you choosing comfort over character right now, and what is one harder choice you could make this week instead?

What does the death of a parent teach you about being present? Ryan DeMent lost his dad this week to a heart attack. In this raw episode of Chasing Happiness he shares the two and a half weeks from the ER to the morning they could not revive him, and what he is still learning: shiny objects mean nothing, and the work left is to show up present every day for God and family. Not a how-to on grief. Presence and priority when life moves fast.

If you keep asking why God is making you wait, and nothing is changing, you are not alone. Ryan DeMent shares where he is right now, after more than 20 months of financial pressure and the sudden loss of his business partner, and how he keeps showing up every day: praying when his feet hit the ground and thanking God for the little things. With Luke 16:10, Galatians 6:9, and Lamentations 3:25- 26. Your prayer is not lost, and your wait is not wasted.

Why does God allow hard times? One answer in Scripture is that hard times can teach us, so the better question is what He wants you to learn. Ryan DeMent shares what changes when you stop asking why and start asking what, with Psalm 119:71, James 1:2-4, and a prayer to pray tonight. Ask God why if you need to; then ask what He wants you to learn.

Praying "God, get me through this" every day? Sometimes He answers by changing what is around you. Sometimes He changes you first.

Every morning, I ask God for the same things: strength to get through this, peace, purpose, and wisdom to know what to do next. A couple of weeks ago, I lost a good friend, a mentor, and a business partner, and since then I keep sensing God say there is something in my heart He wants to work on. I do not know what it is yet.

In this episode, we walk through the prayer most of us pray in a hard season, what it looks like when God answers it differently than we asked, and how to keep learning from Him every single day, even before you understand what He is doing. Asking God for strength is not weak faith. It is faith. And when He starts with your heart, that is not punishment. He is shaping you while He carries you.

I also share where I honestly am right now, including what these last two weeks have shown me about being vulnerable with the men around me, and the second prayer I am praying next to "get me through this."

If God answered your prayer by changing you first, what is the one thing in your heart you already suspect He would start with?

This week I lost a good friend, a mentor, and a business partner, suddenly, with no warning at all. It taught me life is far more fragile than we treat it.

I am not saying this from a stage. I am saying it from right where I am this week. I do not want to make this about the details of what happened. I want to make it about what it is doing in me, because I think it is exactly what God wants to do in you too.

We live as if we have forever. We plan our years, our businesses, our someday conversations as if time is guaranteed. James 4:14 says we don't even know what will happen tomorrow; our life is a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. It usually takes something sudden to make that verse feel real instead of just true.

Here is what surprised me. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6 not to be anxious about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Anxiety about the future and failing to be present in the now are the same thing wearing two faces. Life being fragile should terrify us into anxiety, and instead God uses it to call us into presence.

Two days before I got this news, I was sitting in my men's group talking about being vulnerable, about needing men in your life you can actually trust, the ride-or-die kind. I did not know why that conversation hit so hard until this week. Losing somebody suddenly does not just remind you that life is short. It reveals whether you've built relationships that carry weight, or whether you have been isolated and called it strength. Ecclesiastes 4 says two are better than one, and a cord of three strands is not easily broken. That is not a nice sentiment; it is a survival principle.

Do not wait for a loss to finally be honest with the people in your life. Call the friend. Show up for the group. Be the vulnerable one first.

Scriptures referenced:James 4:14, Psalm 90:12, Matthew 6:25-34, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Life is more fragile than we act like, and God is not asking you to be anxious about it. He is asking you to be present, and He is asking you to stop doing this alone. Drop a comment and tell me one person you are going to be more honest with this week. I read every single one, and this week I need to hear it as much as you do.

The world lied to you about what it means to be a man. It said strength is control. The truth is, the strongest thing a man of God can do is surrender.

It told you a real man handles it alone, never bends, never needs help, and never lets anyone see him hurt. After years of building businesses, leading a family, and sitting in rooms with men who look strong and are quietly falling apart, I can tell you that version of strength is a cheap counterfeit, and it is exhausting to carry. The strongest thing a man can do is surrender everything to God and let Him lead him and his family.

I am telling you this fresh, straight from a room full of men trying to figure out the same thing. This one is personal. Surrender has not been easy for me, especially financially, in the middle of the storm I have been walking through on this channel. But I am learning that getting on my knees and saying, "God, I cannot carry this; lead me and lead my family," is the hardest and strongest thing I have ever done.

What we cover:

The lie the world told you about being a man, and what it costs: isolation, exhaustion, a family that fears you instead of trusting you, and a faith kept at arm's length.

What real strength actually is. The strongest man who ever lived, Jesus, showed His greatest strength on His knees in a garden, surrendering to the Father. The cross was not something that happened to a weak man. It was something a strong man chose.

Why a man who surrenders to God is not passive but the only leader worth following: because he follows the One who knows the way.

Scriptures referenced:Matthew 26:39, Ephesians 5:25

Stop measuring your strength by how much you can carry alone. Start measuring it by how completely you can surrender to God and how well you lead the people He gave you by following Him first. That is not weakness. That is the courage the world trained out of you, and God is calling it back.

If this hit you, the last episode is about what happens when you surrender, and the storm gets louder instead of quieter. Subscribe so you do not miss the next one.

Feeling like you are going backward is not the same as going backward. The storm that comes back is often where God does the deepest work.

You thought you were finally climbing out, and now it feels like you are sliding right back into the storm you just survived. I know that feeling because I am living it right now. After eighteen months in my own financial storm and years of walking people through their worst money seasons, I can tell you the return is not the punishment you are afraid it is. This week it hit me again, right when I thought I was through, so this is not a lesson from the other side. It is the truth from inside it.

What we cover:

Why the feeling of going backward is not the fact of it. You are not at square one. You are climbing the same mountain from higher ground, and it only feels familiar because the view rhymes.

Why God lets the storm come back. Elijah had the greatest victory of his life and collapsed days later. God did not rebuke him. He fed him, let him rest, and recommissioned him in a whisper. The return did what the victory could not.

My testimony, from the middle of the storm. I don't have a tidy ending because I haven't reached it yet, and I am telling you the truth anyway.

What the lender's seat sees. The person who quits in the last mile is convinced the setback meant they were back to nothing, versus the one who reads the second wave as the middle, not the verdict.

Scriptures referenced:2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 1 Kings 19

The return is not the punishment. It is not proof you failed. It is the place where God does the work the victory could not do. Stay in the water. He is in it with you.

If this episode hit you, the last episode covers how gratitude in the middle of the storm opens your hands for what is next. Subscribe so you do not miss the next one.

Stop asking God for more until you can be grateful for what is already in your hands. Clenched hands cannot receive.

After years of watching people chase money and blessings they do not have yet, I can tell you the real reason God has not given you more. It is not that He is holding out on you. Gratitude is the open hand that receives, and a hand clenched around what it does not have has no room for what God is trying to give. Every morning someone asks how I am doing, and I tell them I am grateful, because I made the wake-up list this morning. I mean it completely.

This one is personal. I have spent 18 months in my own storm, and some mornings the only honest thing I could be grateful for was that I woke up with another chance. That was enough to get up and keep going.

What we cover:

Why gratitude is the requirement, not the reward. You think it is the thank-you note after the gift. God treats it as the open hand that can receive the gift at all.

Why ungrateful hands stay empty. Ingratitude trains your eyes to only see what is missing, so you miss what God is already doing. The Israelites turned a short journey into forty years the same way.

My testimony. Why the wake-up list became the most honest thing I say all day.

What the lender's seat sees every week. The bitter client with plenty who stays stuck, versus the grateful client with almost nothing who keeps moving.

Scriptures referenced:1 Thessalonians 5:18, James 1:17, Luke 17:15-17

You woke up today. You made the wake-up list. That is already enough to be grateful for, and gratitude is how you open your hands to receive what God is building next.

If this episode hit you, the last episode covers what to actually do with what God places in your open hands, from the parable of the talents. Subscribe so you do not miss the next one.

What the parable of the talents says about investing is not what most Christians think. It is Jesus being blunt about money, fear, and stewardship.

The parable of the talents is a money parable from the first verse. A master gives three servants different amounts. Two put the money to work and double it. One buries his out of fear and hands it back unchanged. The buried servant is the only one the master condemns, and not for losing money. He never lost a dime. He is condemned for letting fear talk him into doing nothing.

I am recording this one from inside my own story. For a long stretch, I was the servant who buried it. I was so afraid of losing what little I had that I did nothing with it and told myself that was the responsible, even godly, choice. It was not. It was fear wearing a responsible costume.

What we cover:

What the parable actually teaches about investing your money. Stewardship is active, not passive. Burying what you were given is the one thing this parable condemns.

Why fear was the real sin. The servant said, "I was afraid, so I hid it." Fear told him a lie that protecting what he had was safer than putting it to work.

My testimony. How I moved from burying what I had to tithing consistently, one percent at a time, from five percent up to a full ten.

What the lender's seat sees every week. The clients too afraid to ever make a move, versus the ones who steward what they have and build something over time.

Scriptures referenced:Matthew 25:23, Matthew 25:25