Don’t call back right away.

Never buy better gifts for her.

Dress better than her on random days.

Take frequent leaves of absence. Preferably international.

Drag your feet about introducing her to your friends and family.

Never give her spare keys to your place.

Don’t live together.

Subtly acknowledge other girls flirting with you.

Don’t ask questions about her.

Get drunk without her.

Cancel dates.

Show flashes of anger.

Occasionally be emotionally distant.

Muse wistfully about past lovers.

Never take her on dinner dates before you’ve had sex with her.

Never agree to meet her friends before you’ve had sex with her.

Never spend more than the price of a few high alcohol content drinks on her before you’ve had sex with her.

Never do her a favor before you’ve had sex with her.

Always try to get her to do you a favor before you’ve had sex with her. COMPLIANCE TESTS. These are the male version of shit tests.

Never introduce her to anyone you know before you’ve had sex with her, unless its former hot girlfriends or friends who happen to be hot girls.

When you receive texts and phone calls in her company, never tell her who they’re from.

Password protect EVERYTHING.

Do not have a Facebook profile. If you do, it is filled with pics of you and an assortment of hot chicks – No exceptions.

On the morning of a first or second date with her, send her this cryptic text message: “Change of plans.”

When at her place, eat all her food, leave the seat up, change her TV channels, and torture her cat. Act like it’s your second home.

Do all of the above and you will be a god to her.

When she sees you as a god, she is:

– less likely to stray.

– more likely to do anal.

– less likely to bitch and moan.

– more likely to wear lingerie every day of the week.

– less likely to dump or divorce you.

– more likely to forgive your cheating.

– less likely to make demands of you.

– more likely to cater to your needs.

Does that sound good to you?