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Choices in the Dark
Scripture: John 13:21-30
After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.”
His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.”
Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”
Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.
So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
Consider:
The scene in the Upper Room is often painted with the soft glow of candlelight and stained-glass reverence, but John 13:21-30 captures a moment of raw, vibrating tension. Jesus is “troubled in spirit.” This isn’t a stoic, detached version of Jesus; this is a human being facing the sting of impending betrayal from one of his friends.
This passage is more than a story of a “bad guy” doing a “bad thing.” Instead, it invites us to look at the complex dynamics of the relationships—the place where radical inclusion meets the messy reality of human fallibility.
Jesus’ distress (the Greek reads more like anxious or agitated) reminds us love is not a passive or easy sentiment. To love with a commitment to justice and wholeness is to be vulnerable.
The “trouble” Jesus feels is the cost of an open-door policy. When we commit to building communities that welcome everyone—the marginalized, the seeker, and even the ones we disagree with—we move out of the safety of echo chambers and into the danger zone of being hurt.
The most striking moment is when Jesus dips the bread and hands it to Judas. In Middle Eastern culture, sharing a morsel of food was a gesture of special honor and intimacy. Even as the “Satan entered into him,” Jesus offered a gesture of kinship.
This challenges our modern “cancel culture” instincts. While we must maintain boundaries for safety and accountability, Jesus demonstrates a love that refuses to dehumanize the other. He doesn’t scream, point fingers, or call for a mob. He identifies the betrayal, then feeds the betrayer. He honors Judas’s agency, even when that agency leads to destruction.
There is a gap between the knowing and the offering. Jesus knew. Judas acted. The rest of the disciples sat in confusion. We often find ourselves in that same middle ground—knowing that love is required of us, yet feeling the weight of the “night” closing in.
Faith isn’t about having a perfect heart; it’s about staying at the table even when the spirit is troubled. It’s about recognizing we are all, at different times, the beloved disciple leaning on Jesus and the one tempted to walk out into the dark.
Respond:
Imagine yourself at a table with the person you find difficult to love. In your mind’s eye, see yourself passing them something simple—a glass of water, a piece of bread, a salt shaker.
Notice your internal resistance to this small act of service. What does that resistance say about your boundaries versus your desire to remain “kind”? Is there a way to offer a “morsel” of humanity to them without sacrificing your own safety?
Pray:
God, thank You for the grace of the waiting room. As I hold this tension, keep my heart open and my spirit tethered to Yours. Give me the courage to move not out of obligation, but from a place of deep, intentional love when the time is right. Amen.
These posts will always be free, however, if you find them meaningful and would like to consider supporting our online outreach, you can donate using this link.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wfpc.substack.com
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By Wake Forest PresbyterianScripture: John 13:21-30
After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.”
His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.”
Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”
Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.
So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.” But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him. Since Judas had charge of the money, some thought Jesus was telling him to buy what was needed for the festival, or to give something to the poor. As soon as Judas had taken the bread, he went out. And it was night.
Consider:
The scene in the Upper Room is often painted with the soft glow of candlelight and stained-glass reverence, but John 13:21-30 captures a moment of raw, vibrating tension. Jesus is “troubled in spirit.” This isn’t a stoic, detached version of Jesus; this is a human being facing the sting of impending betrayal from one of his friends.
This passage is more than a story of a “bad guy” doing a “bad thing.” Instead, it invites us to look at the complex dynamics of the relationships—the place where radical inclusion meets the messy reality of human fallibility.
Jesus’ distress (the Greek reads more like anxious or agitated) reminds us love is not a passive or easy sentiment. To love with a commitment to justice and wholeness is to be vulnerable.
The “trouble” Jesus feels is the cost of an open-door policy. When we commit to building communities that welcome everyone—the marginalized, the seeker, and even the ones we disagree with—we move out of the safety of echo chambers and into the danger zone of being hurt.
The most striking moment is when Jesus dips the bread and hands it to Judas. In Middle Eastern culture, sharing a morsel of food was a gesture of special honor and intimacy. Even as the “Satan entered into him,” Jesus offered a gesture of kinship.
This challenges our modern “cancel culture” instincts. While we must maintain boundaries for safety and accountability, Jesus demonstrates a love that refuses to dehumanize the other. He doesn’t scream, point fingers, or call for a mob. He identifies the betrayal, then feeds the betrayer. He honors Judas’s agency, even when that agency leads to destruction.
There is a gap between the knowing and the offering. Jesus knew. Judas acted. The rest of the disciples sat in confusion. We often find ourselves in that same middle ground—knowing that love is required of us, yet feeling the weight of the “night” closing in.
Faith isn’t about having a perfect heart; it’s about staying at the table even when the spirit is troubled. It’s about recognizing we are all, at different times, the beloved disciple leaning on Jesus and the one tempted to walk out into the dark.
Respond:
Imagine yourself at a table with the person you find difficult to love. In your mind’s eye, see yourself passing them something simple—a glass of water, a piece of bread, a salt shaker.
Notice your internal resistance to this small act of service. What does that resistance say about your boundaries versus your desire to remain “kind”? Is there a way to offer a “morsel” of humanity to them without sacrificing your own safety?
Pray:
God, thank You for the grace of the waiting room. As I hold this tension, keep my heart open and my spirit tethered to Yours. Give me the courage to move not out of obligation, but from a place of deep, intentional love when the time is right. Amen.
These posts will always be free, however, if you find them meaningful and would like to consider supporting our online outreach, you can donate using this link.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wfpc.substack.com