Modern family life can leave parents feeling pulled in all directions – trying to support their children, manage daily pressures and make the right decisions in a world full of advice, expectations and opinions about getting it right. In that context, the idea of being a good enough parent can feel both reassuring and like an important reset.

In this episode of The Choice Space, Dr Lee David is joined by clinical psychologist and author Dr Tara Porter to explore what good enough parenting really means, and why it matters for children’s mental health and family wellbeing.

They discuss how modern parenting has become increasingly outcome-focused, with pressure around education, activities, behaviour and getting things right. Tara reflects on how these pressures can make parenting feel like something to optimise or perfect – and how aiming for the messy middle instead can help families find more flexibility, balance and connection.

The conversation also explores relationship-based parenting, including the importance of showing up, staying present and allowing for rupture and repair. Rather than aiming to be endlessly calm or perfect, Tara highlights the value of authenticity, emotional competence and adjusting as children grow and change.

They also discuss the idea of being firm and kind – holding boundaries in a way that is guided by values rather than control. From phones and screens to everyday family life, the episode looks at how parents can stay connected while still offering structure, guidance and care.

This is a thoughtful conversation about easing pressure, focusing on what matters and finding a more compassionate, realistic way to parent.

Key moments

00:21 Good enough parenting
02:16 Where the idea comes from
03:33 Pressure, culture and modern life
06:39 The messy middle
13:13 Relationship-based parenting
19:26 Rupture and repair
29:46 Being firm and kind
32:04 Values and boundaries
36:13 Emotional competence
42:18 Lead with relationship

About the guest

Dr Tara Porter is a clinical psychologist and author with 28 years’ NHS experience working with children, adolescents and families, specialising in eating disorders. She now works privately in London, with a particular focus on the adolescent and young adult years. Tara has a strong interest in mental health in schools, contributing to the Anna Freud Centre’s Schools in Mind project, writing for TES and teaching in schools. She is also an Associate Tutor at UCL and the author of several books including You Don’t Understand Me and Good Enough: A Framework for Modern Parenting.

Connect with Tara via LinkedIn or Instagram @drtaraporterpsychologist

About the host

Dr Lee David is a GP, CBT therapist and author specialising in mental health and wellbeing. Lee has written many books on CBT, mindfulness and teen wellbeing, and speaks regularly at conferences and in the media. Away from work she enjoys running, hiking, singing in a choir and spending time outdoors with her family. You can find Lee through her website and on Instagram, TikTok (@dr.lee.david), Facebook and LinkedIn.  You can find more about her books, wellbeing courses and therapy here:  https://linktr.ee/dr.lee.david