Choosing to Be ™

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Episode Summary:
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you build. In this episode, Amanda shares one of the simplest, most transformative games you’ll ever play: Prove It.

This powerful practice stops procrastination in it's tracks, flips your inner critic on its head, and gives you a practical way to grow confidence step by step. Whether you’re chasing a dream, facing a tough setback, or tired of looping in self-doubt — this episode will show you how to move from theory to proof.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why confidence isn’t inherited — it’s a skill you can train
• The “sticky middle” — where most people get stuck and how to move through it
• The PROVE framework: Pause & Play, Reveal, Outline, Validate, Expand
• How to test your stories (especially about time) and discover what’s really true
• Why failure is never the enemy — stagnation is
• How to stop chasing approval and start building self-trust

Key Quotes:

• “Confidence doesn’t come from thinking about it. It comes from proving it.” — Amanda Wirtz
• “This dream is real, and I will not abandon myself.” — Amanda Wirtz
• “You can like that you spent your life living. That you didn’t abandon yourself or your dreams. That you didn’t waste your one wild, sacred life suffocating under a blanket of lies.” — Amanda Wirtz
• “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Companion Practices Mentioned:

• Journal your story and reframe it
• Audit your environment (music, light, clutter, tools)
• Set timers to test your “time” story
• Invite an accountability partner
• Practice failing on purpose — and like yourself anyway
• Plus: voice notes, micro-dares, Ta-Da log, anchor phrases, body resets, future-you check-ins, and more

Call to Action:
Don’t just listen — play the game.
Take one story, one step, and prove it to yourself.

And don’t keep this to yourself. Share this episode with a friend, family member, or teammate. Challenge each other to outgrow the lies, outlive the fear, and reach for the dreams that matter. Then jump.

Resources & Links:

• See my kitchen remodel (yes, where this podcast is recorded!) at joligdesigns.com/blueandwhitekitchen
• Connect with Amanda on LinkedIn
  and Instagram
• Companion Journal (coming soon!)

✨ Until next time, this is Amanda Wirtz celebrating your highest and most important choice — Who you are Choosing to Be.

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Episode Title: A Bird Sanctuary: What Would New Do? Creating Space for Ideas That Change Everything

Episode Summary:
We rely on ideas—big ones, quiet ones, unexpected ones—to guide and shape our lives. But most of us aren’t creating the conditions for those ideas to arrive. In this poetic and powerful episode, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH invites us to reimagine the mind not as a storage unit, but as a sanctuary.

Through personal stories, metaphor, science, and soul, she explores what it really takes to make space for imagination, receive inspired ideas, and build a life that reflects innovation from the inside out.

In This Episode:
– Why your mind is a sanctuary—not a storage unit
– The link between imagination, innovation, and your quality of life
– Why creativity can’t bloom under pressure
– How your habits, relationships, and beliefs may be blocking ideas from landing
– Real practices to invite and embody something new
– The metaphor of the bird sanctuary, and why your mind needs to become one
– Amanda’s story of resilience, reinvention, and radical openness
– The surprising truth about dead ends, and why the rat can climb out of the maze
– The people who bring out your aliveness (and why they matter for your creative flow)
– Book recommendations to deepen your journey

Key Quotes:

Referenced Books:
– The Creative Act by Rick Rubin
– Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
– The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts—and share this with someone who needs to remember:

Your most brilliant ideas aren’t hiding…
 They’re waiting for you to make space.

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Reciprocity: Are You Shaping or Shattering Connection? Recognizing and Recalibrating Communication Imbalance

Episode Summary:
We’ve all felt it—that sting of being the one who always initiates, celebrates, listens, or reaches deeper in a relationship. Whether it’s a friend who rarely checks in, a colleague who takes more than they give, or a partner who seems emotionally MIA, imbalance in relationships can quietly wear us down.

In this episode of Choosing to Be, we explore the concept of reciprocity—what it is, why it matters, and how imbalance (whether you’re over- or under-giving) affects our emotional and physical well-being. Drawing from personal experience, psychological research, and real-life insight, Amanda unpacks the subtle signs of lopsided relationships and offers four powerful strategies to restore balance—with clarity, compassion, and courage.

You’ll walk away with:

• A deeper understanding of reciprocity and why it’s essential in both personal and professional relationships
• Research-backed insight into the emotional cost of giving too much—or too little
• Tools for assessing where you stand on the reciprocity spectrum
• Practical options for navigating imbalance, including how to communicate needs, adjust expectations, or step away with grace

This episode invites you to reflect on how you're showing up in all your relationships—and how much that's costing or feeding your well-being.

🔑 Key Topics Covered:

• What “unilateral depth” looks like in relationships
• The surprising health benefits of both giving and receiving support
• Why under-benefiting hurts more than over-benefiting
• The important role of curiosity in meaningful connection
• Four practical choices when you're over-invested in a one-sided relationship

📚 Research & Quotes Mentioned:

• Journal of Health Psychology: “The Psychological Costs of Social Support Imbalance” (APA citation below)
• Mobile phone behavior studies on communication reciprocity and burnout
• Workplace research linking emotional imbalance to burnout and poor morale
• "For it is in giving, that we receive." - Saint Assissi
• "Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others." - Booker T. Washington.
• "A lack of genuine, attuned curiosity signals a lack of presence...and presence is the currency of true connection. No curiosity - no connection. We are often so busy broadcasting, performing, or attempting to impress that we fail to draw people to us with our earnest inquiry." - Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski
• "Your willingness to see the truth about your life is going to predict how much growth, happiness and success you experience. PERIOD." - Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski

💡 Reflective Prompts:

• Are you consistently investing in the relationships that matter to you?
• Where do you over-function, and where do you under-function?
• Are your conversations balanced, or are you monologuing without genuine, attuned curiosity?
• What action could bring more equanimity to one relationship in your life right now?

🛠️ Four Options If You're Over-Investing:

1. Communicate and Clarify
2. Adjust Expectations
3. Match Their Effort
4. Step Away (With Care)

🗣️ Let’s Connect:
What are your thoughts and experiences with with reciprocity? How have you found balance, or are you still navigating it?
Connect with Amanda here or on social media and join the conversation!

📬 Don’t Forget:
Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend or colleague who might need it

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Episode Title: The Single Most Powerful Habit for Health, Happiness & Success (5 Steps to Rewire Your Brain)

Episode Summary:

Many people find themselves caught in cycles of negative thinking, dwelling on what they don’t want rather than focusing on what they do. In this episode of Choosing to Be, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH explores the science behind negativity bias and offers actionable strategies to shift from resistance to empowerment. Through personal stories, research-backed insights, and 5 practical steps, she demonstrates how reframing thoughts can lead to greater clarity, resilience, and success. Listeners will walk away with a simple yet powerful framework to turn negative thinking into purposeful action.

The Power of Focus

• Our brains have a negativity bias—an evolutionary trait meant to keep us safe.
• Studies show 80-90% of our thoughts are negative and that a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions fosters better mental health.
• Shifting our focus influences our mood, decisions, and overall success.

5 Steps to Shift From "I Do NOT want" to "I DO want"

1. Accept Your Brain’s Power – Negative thoughts can be helpful; until their not.
2. Observe Without Judgment – Judgment stifles curiosity and creativity.
3. Reframe the Thought – What’s the opposite of what you don’t want?
   • I don’t want to be tired → I want to feel energized.
   • I don’t want to fail → I want to grow and succeed.
4. Identify the Next Step – What small action will move you toward what you DO want?
5. Take the Step – Stop fantasizing - action turns intention into reality!

Key Takeaways

• Your brain is hardwired for negativity - you ultimately have control.
• Your attention and focus will shape all aspects of your reality.
• The happiest and most successful people focus on what they do want.
• You can reprogram your brain by repeatedly applying 5 simple steps.
• Small, intentional shifts in thinking can lead to major transformation.
• Every thought offers a choice—stay stuck or move forward.

Print the 5 steps, practice them, and share your experience! Connect with me through Buzzsprout or online. If you haven’t yet, subscribe, share, and invest in yourself. You matter!

References

• Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology, 5(4), 323-370.
• Fredrickson, B. L., & Losada, M. F. (2005). Positive affect and the complex dynamics of human flourishing. American Psychologist, 60(7), 678-686.
• Rozin, P., & Royzman, E. B. (2001). Negativity bias, negativity dominance, and contagion. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(4), 296-320.

Until next time, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski – Choosing to Be.

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Episode Title: What People Really Need!

Episode Summary:
Have you ever wondered what people really need from you? Spoiler alert – it’s also what you really need from them AND from yourself! This is easy to overlook yet profoundly life-changing. Today, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH, dives into the power of witnessing—how simply being present for others (and yourself) can create deeper human connections and make you more effective. In a world facing incredible stress and dehumanization, we cannot change others, but we can change ourselves—in doing so, we change the world.

In This Episode:

• The roles we play in life and why we are not our roles
• What it truly means to be a witness and why it's vital
• The societal impact of dehumanization and how we play a part
• Practical ways to develop witnessing skills in personal and professional settings
• The importance of witnessing yourself and practicing self-compassion

Key Quotes:

"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." – David Augsburger

"I still think that the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, just having no one... That is the worst disease that any human being can ever experience." – Mother Teresa

Take Action:

✔ Notice when, how, and in what ways others invite you to be a witness
✔ Practice deep listening, respectful silence, and unhurried compassion
✔ Experiment with witnessing yourself—acknowledge all your emotions without distraction
✔ Set boundaries while choosing to witness in meaningful and balanced ways
✔ Cultivate defiant humanism—be present for yourself and others

Links & Resources:

• How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen – David Brooks
• Research: 
  • https://www.cigna.com/static/www-cigna-com/docs/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/combatting-loneliness/cigna-2020-loneliness-report.pdf
  • https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886920302555
  • https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3874845/

Enjoyed this episode? Share it with a friend or colleague! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review.

Follow & Connect: Instagram | Bluesky | Facebook
Have a question? Want to share your story or idea? Send us a text message on Buzzsprout!

Until next time, remember: The most powerful thing is your choice - choose to be a witness... choose to be defiantly human!

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Episode Title: You Are the Authority

Episode Summary: Have you really claimed yourself as the authority of your own life? Many of us believe we’re in charge, but in reality, we often rely on external validation, societal conditioning, and even the opinions of well-meaning loved ones to direct our lives. In this episode, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH explores what it means to be truly autonomous and how we can reclaim our inner authority and connect with our authentic self.. energized, empowered and on purpose!

In This Episode:

• What autonomy really means and why it matters
• How we allow external influences subtly take over our decision-making
• The power of tuning into your own voice, trusting yourself
• Research-backed insights on decision fatigue, locus of control, and authenticity
• Practical ways to tune into yourself, protect your choices and empower others
• Amanda’s personal story of standing firm in her choices despite external pressure

Key Quotes: 

"Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice." – Steve Jobs

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." – William Shakespeare

Take Action:

• Recognize how, when and where you subtly and overtly give away your power.
• Practice making decisions based on your inner voice: get quiet, tune in, play the 'what if' game, visualize outcomes, feel your feelings!
• Set boundaries with well-meaning (but intrusive) advice-givers.
• Empower others by reinforcing their autonomy rather than attempting to steer or direct their choices; create a healthier communication culture.

Links & Resources: Studies referenced in this episode:

• Baumeister RF, et al. Ego depletion: is the active self a limited resource? Journal of personality and social psychology. 1998;74(5):1252–1265. 
• Rotter, J. B. (1966). Generalized expectancies for internal versus external control of reinforcement. Psychological Monographs: General and Applied, 80(1), 1–28.
• Winnicott, Donald (1960). "Ego distortion in terms of true and false self". The Maturational Process and the Facilitating Environment: Studies in the Theory of Emotional Development. New York City: International Universities Press, Inc: 140–57.

Enjoyed this episode? Share it with a friend or colleague! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review.

Follow & Connect: Instagram | Bluesky| Facebook
Have a question? Want to share your story or idea? Send us a message on Buzzsprout!

Until next time, remember: You are the authority of your own life. Own it.

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Episode Title: Cashing In: The Surprising Value of Difficult People (5 + Bonus!)

Episode Summary: In this episode, Amanda explores the surprising ways difficult people can enrich our lives. From inspiring boundaries to fostering compassion, Amanda uncovers five powerful lessons (plus a BIG bonus!) that can help you transform challenging encounters into opportunities for personal growth and clarity. Whether at work, home, or in the world around you, learn how to leverage these experiences for your benefit, right now!

Key Takeaways:

1. What Defines a 'Difficult Person':
   • Difficult people aren’t inherently difficult -  they embody qualities and characteristics that are detrimental to our humanity (i.e. criticism, control, dishonesty, etc) 
   • These challenges can serve as invaluable opportunities for growth.
2. The 5 Priceless Values 'Difficult People' Offer:
   • Value #1: Boundaries – They inspire us to establish limits, understand our values, and gain clarity on our priorities.
   • Value #2: Skills and Insights – They motivate us to gain new insight and skills: emotional understanding and regulation, conflict resolution, effective communication, etc.
   • Value #3: Community – Challenges may bring people together to support and uplift one another; collectively, we can then take action in meaningful ways.
   • Value #4: Compassion – Encountering 'difficult people' enhances our understanding and empathy for others.
   • Value #5: Personal Growth – The compassion we develop has ripple effects that can benefit our physical, mental, emotional health over time.
3. Bonus Insight:
   • 'Difficult people' often act as unexpected guides, clarifying our values and affirming the kind of person we would like to be. They help solidify our choices so that we may broadcast our best self in new and powerful ways.

Resources Mentioned:

• Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) Paperback – September 1, 2015, by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD (Author), Deepak Chopra (Foreword) by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
• Article: The Overlooked Payoff to Suffering Is Compassion: Compassion, Not Resilience, Is the Most Significant Payoff of Suffering (Posted January 18, 2024, by Megan Shen) by Megan Shen, PhD

Call to Action: Enjoyed this episode? Subscribe, review, and share it with your network! Have a story about how you’ve learned from difficult people? Have an idea for a new podcast? Send Amanda a text on Buzzsprout! 

Thank you for joining us on Cashing In: The Surprising Value of Difficult People. Remember, every challenging interaction holds incredible potential and opportunity for you—let’s cash in!

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Title: The Story Behind the Story: The Question That Saved My Life

Description:
In this powerful episode, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH, shares the deeply personal journey that led her to discover the question that saved and ultimately transformed her life. Amanda reveals how a single shift in perspective helped her move from despair to empowerment, and why this question remains the foundation of her purpose and passion.

Through candid storytelling and inspiring reflections, Amanda invites you to explore the profound impact of choosing who you want to be, no matter the circumstances. Her extraordinary journey—from navigating a rare, incurable disease to impacting countless lives across the globe—offers an uplifting message of hope, resilience, and service.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How Amanda’s life changed when she shifted her focus from “What do I want to be?” to “Who am I choosing to be?”
• How one question can influence every decision and create profound change in your life.
• How desperation can serve as an incredible doorway to transformative change.
• The miraculous power of service and its role in finding meaning and purpose.
• Why growth, compassion, and resilience are choices available to all of us, regardless of the hardships we face.

Takeaways:

• Your true power lies in a singular choice: who you are choosing to be, moment by moment.
• You can consciously redefine yourself and create a practical blueprint to become the person you aspire to be.
• Growth begins when you commit to consistently embodying the qualities and characteristics you value most.
• Service and generosity are transformative, not only for others but for yourself.
• Even in the face of adversity, resilience and purpose can guide you to extraordinary outcomes.

Join the Conversation:
Amanda encourages you to reflect on your journey, share your thoughts, and explore your choices with intention. Join the conversation on social media and connect with a growing community committed to meaningful growth and transformation.

Referenced Resources:
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi.

Next Week’s Episode:
Join Amanda for a discussion about the contrast of life; using 'difficult' people as inspiration, strengthening your resolve to be the person you want to be.

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Title: Give Yourself Permission to Change

Description:
In this episode, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH, explores the profound power of giving yourself permission to change. We are creatures of habit, often stuck in unconscious patterns, but Amanda reminds us of a liberating truth: Change is our nature, and embracing it is the key to living a full and authentic life.

Through humor, personal insight, and thought-provoking analogies, Amanda challenges societal norms like “don’t ever change” and invites you to rethink self-approval, self-confidence, and the path to evolution. Drawing inspiration from nature’s effortless transformations and weaving in compelling storytelling, Amanda offers a powerful roadmap to break free from limiting patterns to embrace your own transformation.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• How unconscious patterns shape our lives and how to break free from them.
• Why self-approval and permission to change are crucial for authentic growth.
• The destructive habits that block transformation and how to overcome them.
• Strategies to connect with your inner voice and create a deeper commitment to yourself.
• The importance of fostering a culture of love and respect, starting with yourself.

Takeaways:

• Transformation is a natural, ongoing process that starts with self-permission.
• Self-confidence is built on the refusal to quit on yourself and your evolution.
• Giving yourself and others the freedom to change creates a healthy, thriving emotional ecology.
• More freedom and growth are always available, no matter where you are on your journey.

Join the Conversation:
Amanda invites you to explore your evolution, share your journey, and take bold steps toward being fully alive and true to yourself. Share your reflections on social media and join a community committed to growth and authentic connection.

Referenced Resources:

• Love as a Business Strategy: Resilience, Belonging & Success by Mohammad F. Anwar, Frank Danna, Jeffrey Ma and Christopher Pitre.
• Amanda’s first podcast episode: “Beyond Resolutions - Reclaiming Your Power to Transform Every Day."

Next Week’s Episode:
Join Amanda as she shares the story behind her story. Discover how a single question saved her life and why she’s dedicated to bringing these transformative messages to you.

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Title: Reclaim Your Power to Transform Every Day

Description:
In this compelling New Year’s episode, Amanda Wirtz Rosolowski, MPH dives into the truth behind transformation and why it’s within our reach at any moment. Drawing inspiration from the natural cycles of change, Amanda reimagines New Year’s resolutions and explores why so many of them fail. From misplaced timing to lack of passion, she breaks down the common pitfalls and offers a roadmap to authentic growth.

Amanda shares a powerful truth: You are transformation. It’s not just something you do—it’s who you are. In this episode, you’ll learn how to claim your power, silence self-doubt, and create the conditions for lasting change. Amanda emphasizes the importance of making space for your dreams, celebrating your progress, and building a practice that aligns with your authentic self.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why traditional resolutions often fail and how to approach change differently.
• How to reconnect with your authentic desires and avoid external pressures.
• The transformative power of asking: Who am I choosing to be?
• Practical strategies for stopping negative self-talk, making space for your dreams, and celebrating success.

Takeaways:
Transformation isn’t about monumental shifts—it’s about small, intentional steps that honor who you truly are. You’ll leave this episode empowered to claim your truth, reimagine your life, and embrace the opportunity for change at any moment.

Join the Conversation:
Amanda invites you to reflect on your own transformation journey and to take the first step toward your authentic dreams. Share your thoughts, victories, and aspirations with her on social media and help spread the message of growth and community.

Contributions:
This episode references the concept of the 'bridge of choice,' first introduced by Dr. Renee Goodrich, PsyD.