Why Chores?

Chores allow your child to contribute to maintaining and caring for your family’s household. Daily chores allow your child to learn and practice valuable skills like timeliness, work ethic, and responsibility. 

Tip: These steps are done best when you and your child are not tired or in a rush. 

 

Tip: Intentional communication and a healthy parenting relationship support these steps.

 

Step 1: Get Input- Get Your Child Thinking by Getting Their Input 

Consider what chores need to be done. You might start by thinking through the rooms in the house, beginning with your child’s room. 

●      “What must we do in your bedroom to keep it clean and ready to use?”

●      “How should we deal with dirty clothes and prepare clean clothes for school?”

●      “When and how do we prepare and eat family dinner together?”

●      “When we are finished playing, how do we leave our play areas?”

Tip: For 5-7-year-olds, Get paper and markers and have your child write down their ideas in response to the above questions. Consult the developmentally appropriate list of chores (see full tool) for ideas. For 8-10-year-olds, create a checklist together of your household responsibility plan on a whiteboard or chalkboard. 

 

Trap: Be sure to create your plan at a calm time. Don’t create your plan when you are in the routine, hungry or tired, or under time pressure. 

Step 2: Teach New Skills 

●      Say what you will model and why. Model it. “Watch how I play, waiter. You can try it after me!”

●      Ask your child what they noticed: “What did you notice when I acted like a waiter?”

●      Invite your child to model: “Okay, it's your turn to pretend to be the waiter.”

●      Ask what they noticed with their modeling: “What did you notice when you did it?”

●      Practice together: “Let’s both be waiters. I’ll set the napkins down, and you place the silverware.”

●      Provide specific feedback starting with strengths using “I notice…” statements like, “I noticed you handled the silverware carefully -- terrific! When you put the napkins down, count so that each person gets one.”

Tip: Be certain and pick a time to do this when you do not have time pressures. 

 

Tip: Remember that children learn through play. Play act like you would a game. 

 

Trap: Requiring a child to do a household task before teaching first is bound to create problems. Your child may not feel competent enough to do the job without teaching. Take the time to teach the new job before incorporating it into their routine!

 

Step 3: Practice to Grow Skill and Develop Habits 

●      Use “Show me…” statements like, “Show me how you make your bed.”

●      Proactively remind: “Remember our next step? What is it?”

Step 4: Support Your Child's Development and Success

●      Ask key questions: “How are you feeling when it’s time to clean up? Do you know where everything goes?”

●      Recognize effort by using “I notice” statements like, “I noticed how you went ahead and picked up your toys without me asking. That’s taking responsibility!” 

●      Infuse some fun! Make clean-up time or chore time fun. Working together as a family can be enjoyable. Turn on some music or sing a song while working. 

●      Reflect on outcomes. “It looks like you forgot to set the table. What could help you remember in the future?”

●      Stay engaged. Ask yourself if you need to reteach or make changes.

●      Follow through with logical consequences to repair harm when needed.

Trap: Check your own tone and attitude toward chores! If you groan when it’s time to get them done, your child will surely groan, too. If you approach chores with a “Let's dig in together!” attitude, that’s how your child will learn to approach them as well.

 

Trap: Don’t constantly repeat yourself. Children often need more time to perform tasks challenging even if you believe they are simple and don’t require much time. Be sure to wait long enough for your child to show you they are competent. Your waiting could make all the difference in whether they can do what you need.

 

Step 5: Recognize Effort

●      Notice even small successes: “I notice you put your game away when finished. Excellent.”

●      Recognize small steps along the way.

●      Build celebrations into your routine. Include hugs in your repertoire of ways to appreciate one another.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Recommended Citation: Center for Health and Safety Culture. (2024). Chores Age 8 Summary. Retrieved from https://www.ToolsforYourChildsSuccess.org  This content does not necessarily reflect the views or policies of the Tools for Your Child’s Success communities, financial supporters, contributors, SAMHSA or the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. © 2023 Center for Health and Safety Culture at Montana State University