Author Jeanne Safer has written seven books, including Death Benefits: How Losing a Parent Can Change an Adult’s Life—for the Better. On processing the death of one’s parents in later life, she said, “You really want to see who they are independent of you because that gives you a three dimensional view of them which in a certain sense we can only have when we are not looking directly in their eyes anymore.” In short, she says, we continue our relationship with our parents even after they are