Welcome to Tea with Keke. I’m your host, Cindy Kojm.
I’m sitting out on my lanai right now, listening to the rain, which you may even hear as I'm recording this. It’s early morning; the birds are chirping, the thunder is rolling in, and I’m watching the cat watch the birds as they flitter from one bush to the other, trying to stay dry. I just finished listening to a recording my mentor, Julie Cicardi, sends us every day. She gives us something to sit with when it comes to the daily frequency, meaning energy in our Human Design. You don't need to know anything about Human Design to understand this.
Today she asked us to do one thing: identify what’s holding you back and name it: resistance to the action, fear of what others might think, insecurity, failure, and then name the action you’re going to take to move out of that energy.
And here’s what I keep coming back to: it’s never really the story. It’s the feeling underneath the story or meaning you're giving it.
Fear, failure, rejection: those are just words we put on it. But underneath every one of those words is an actual feeling, and every feeling carries energy. It either lifts you, or it drops you. That’s it. We tend to make this so much more complicated than it needs to be.
So this morning, I asked myself: what’s keeping me from creating what I know I’m here to do?
And what came up for me wasn’t even a story; it was just words. Fear. Frustration. Disappointment. Rejection.
Here’s the thing I’m building: The Sanctuary. A space for women in midlife to come home to themselves. A place to land without judgment, without having to perform, without managing everyone else’s emotions for once. So many of us have spent decades being the one who holds it together for everyone else, and in the process, we lost touch with ourselves.
And even with a vision that clear, I still had to sit with those feelings before I could act on it. That’s not a contradiction; that’s the actual work. And it’s the work that we all have to do in order to create what we desire most.
And here’s a little secret: most of us think it’s success. It’s not. Success and whatever that means to you is just the outcome of what you manifested, created, desired into form.
I want to give you an example, because this isn’t just me.
I had a client who wanted to get her home organized. It was very cluttered and unorganized, and she was embarrassed to have people over. Years went by. She’d move a few things around, she'd get rid of a few things, and she even had someone come in to help her get organized, but nothing really changed. And she still wasn’t inviting anyone in, and if she did, she spent the time anxious because all she could think about was what they were thinking and her home.
It wasn’t until we got underneath it that we found the real reason, and it was abandonment. Once we named that, everything else started moving. Not because she suddenly had more willpower, but because she finally addressed the thing that was actually running the show.
And some of you may be asking what abandonment has to do with the chaos, clutter, and unorganized home? Nothing on the surface, but underneath it comes down to this: if my home is in disarray, I don’t have to worry about having people over, so I don’t have to worry about them leaving me. You see, we don’t know how our mind interprets past events, especially from childhood, that show up in many different ways until we uncover the underlying issue to better understand what is really going on in our storytelling layers deep. And the meaning that we've been giving to things.
So here’s what I want to leave you with: the story you’re telling yourself about why you’re not doing the thing? It’s probably not even true. It’s a story from your past, or one someone else handed you a long time ago, and you’ve just been carrying it like it’s fact.
So before you go, I want to give you something actually to do with this. Three steps:
* Name it. Pick one thing you want to do but haven’t and write down every reason you’re not doing it.
* Go underneath. For each reason, ask: what’s the feeling underneath this? Not the story, not the meaning, the feeling.
* Pick one aligned action. Something small you can do this week that moves through that feeling instead of around it.
If you want support walking through that, that’s what a Return To You Tea is for. It’s for the moment you’re ready to say “I don’t want to do this alone anymore.” It’s a real conversation, just you and me, where we get underneath what’s actually been holding you back and figure out your next aligned step together.
Link’s in the show notes. Grab a spot for your Return To You Tea, and let’s figure out your way through, together.
With a warm cup of tea and an open heart — this is Tea with Keke.
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