Building a Better Geek

Circuit breaker: powerful ideas for neutralising bullies in the work place


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In this episode, hosts Em and Craig tackle the serious topic of workplace bullying, exploring its definition, causes, and strategies for addressing it in modern work environments.

Key Discussion Points:
  • Generational Workplace Dynamics: Em explains how having four generations in the workplace (Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z) creates communication challenges, with each generation having different expectations about hierarchy, collaboration, and workplace behavior.

  • Defining Bullying: Craig shares the technical definition of bullying as "repeated and unreasonable behavior that poses a risk to health and safety," while Em emphasizes that bullying fundamentally involves power imbalances being used to harm others.

  • Attachment Theory and Bullying: Em explains how early childhood attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) influence how people respond to bullying. Those with secure attachment are more likely to disengage from bullying situations, while those with other attachment styles may fawn, fight back, or respond inconsistently.

  • Distinguishing Bullying from Miscommunication: The hosts discuss the challenge of differentiating between intentional bullying and communication issues that may stem from neurodiversity or personality differences, noting that sometimes personalities simply don't mesh well.

  • Psychological Aspects: They explore how bullies often use subtle tactics that confuse victims, such as the "smiling assassin" approach where aggressive behavior is masked with friendly demeanor, making targets question their own perceptions.

  • HR's Role: The hosts highlight the importance of human resources departments in providing objective third-party perspectives to mediate conflicts and establish clear procedures for reporting and addressing bullying.

  • Practical Strategies: For organizations, establishing clear anti-bullying policies and procedures is essential. For individuals, developing strong personal boundaries and recognizing unhealthy dynamics are crucial self-protection skills.

  • Future Considerations: The conversation touches on cyberbullying and the challenges of addressing anonymous digital harassment, with Em sharing her personal experience of being targeted online.

    Resource Recommendations:
    • "Emotional Blackmail" by Dr. Susan Forward for understanding unhealthy relationship dynamics
    • "Games People Play" for recognizing interpersonal manipulation patterns
    • David Yeager's "10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People" which explores how high standards and high support affect interactions between managers and younger staff
    • ...more
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      Building a Better GeekBy Emmanuella Grace & Craig Lawton