Grab your raincoats and your root passwords, because today’s forecast calls for 100% chance of OpenStack with scattered Linux kernels drifting in from the west. We’re diving headfirst into the swirling weather patterns of the open-source cloud—where compute storms, storage showers, and networking gusts all collide to form your perfect private cloud climate. From tempestuous deployments to sunny scalability, we’ll chart the isobars of orchestration and explain why this penguin-powered forecast might be the most predictable thing in IT.