Self-abandonment is the main factor in codependent and people pleasing scenarios. We are willing to let our own needs go to appease others in hopes that we will receive that same love we are putting out. The problem is when we are putting this out it isn’t genuine. There is always an underlying feeling and subconscious attachment to an outcome or expectation from our actions. This is a difficult pill to swallow with self-abandonment that we think this is Nobel or kind of us but it’s actually undermining and controlling. Even in codependent relationships where the dependent can be demanding and controlling to get their way, the codependent is still trying to control the outcome in their favor. “If I just do this they won’t be so mean to me so I’ll take the less chaotic path so I don’t have to deal with them.” Then you just end up defeated and again have abandoned yourself. There’s always accountability and responsibility for the part one plays in their own suffering. I hope this episode helps those still clinging on to hopes of people changing or hopes that things will change a new perspective that if they want that change, they have to become that change. Follow me on instagram @thatshowufeelpodcast and DM me for questions. Drop a comment telling me what you think being emotionally intelligent is.

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