Heart First Leadership

Co-Regulate to Help Your Child Self-Regulate


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Ryan and Heidi discuss the importance of us as parents being able to use the tools of co-regulation and objective noticing to teach self-regulation to our children. 

  • We all what our children to have a competitive edge in life- to be emotionally intelligent, resilient, and confident about taking on any challenge in life
  • In the US culture, we have noticed how many men are raised to suppress their emotions as they are growing up
  • Downplaying our children's physical sensations that are leading to big emotions teaches our kids to question, ignore, and mistrust their own internal experience 
  • Diminishing the signal of pain teaches our children that they are bad or wrong for feeling
  • The goal is to allow ourselves to feel fully in one moment and to let go in the next
  • The old model vs. the new model of parenting a child through their own discomfort
  • What is co-regulation? Co-regulation involves one person staying present for another through a challenging experience such that the stressed individual experiences greater self-awareness
  • How to practice the 3 A's: Attention, Acceptance, Allowance
  • Using objective noticing to help our children identify the sensations they are experiencing without the "thought story they may want to attach to the experience 

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Website: CompeteHeartFirst.com

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Heart First LeadershipBy Ryan & Heidi Sawyer