Coaching as Benevolence

In this episode, L' Shawn and Eryn discuss patience in coaching and the coaching process. They explore how patience involves balancing "floating" and "swimming" - allowing time for reflection versus taking intentional action toward goals. The conversation covers how patience requires wisdom and trust, particularly in coaching relationships where coaches must be patient with clients' progress, the unfolding of insights, and the co-created nature of the coaching process. They discuss how patience relates to time perception, underlying beliefs about success and life accomplishment, and the difference between feeling rushed versus having enough time. The episode concludes with each sharing examples of patient people in their lives who demonstrated wisdom and steady presence.

Eryn and L'Shawn interview Scott Sammons. Scott has spent 25 years building businesses around relationships and helping others do the same.

Scott shares how he was fired by his first business coach for refusing transactional sales tactics and how he instead built a successful career by focusing on genuine human connection and authenticity. He explains his coaching philosophy, which emphasizes self-actualization, moving from a scarcity mindset to abundance, and the importance of aligning one's life and business. Scott also describes his use of assessments like VIA and his own business gap assessment to help relationship-based entrepreneurs build sustainable systems around their unique strengths.

For information on Scott and his coaching services visit https://scottsammonscoaching.com/

L' Shawn and Eryn discuss the unexpected twists and turns that occur in coaching and healing modalities. L' Shawn shares insights from her family constellation certification course, including how seekers often experience transformations when representatives in the field reveal unexpected aspects of their situations, such as inner children appearing when adults expected to be represented. Eryn describes how grief coaching reveals layers of processing and mystery as clients explore their relationships with lost loved ones, sometimes discovering they need to honor both the person's humanity and their own capacity for greater love. They explore examples of transgenerational trauma where unexplained fears or illnesses in clients were connected to ancestors' experiences, and discuss how coaching creates space for these unexpected revelations while helping clients expand their belief systems.

A blast from the past, this episode revisits one of Eryn and L' Shawn's first episodes of the podcast. Whether you are listening to this episode for the first time or a second time, the richness of the conversation will not disappoint. Eryn and L' Shawn talk about what Coaching as Benevolence means to them and how coaching techniques and strategies can be applied to every day life to help listeners be gentler with themselves and others. Compare this episode to the recently published episode: "Exploring Coaching as Benevolence and what it Offers." Eryn asks listeners to examine where Eryn and L' Shawn have grown, regressed, or stayed the same in their views of the meaning of Coaching as Benevolence.

L' Shawn and Eryn revisit the title of their podcast, "Coaching as Benevolence," to explore its meaning and evolution over nine seasons. They discuss how coaching is often misunderstood as directive advice-giving, and emphasized their intention to make coaching concepts accessible and applicable to everyday life. The conversation highlights benevolence as a core value in coaching, focusing on kindness, collaboration, and holding space for clients' growth and self-discovery. L' Shawn shares a personal experience with a non-benevolent coach to contrast it with the supportive and co-creative nature of effective coaching. Both hosts reflect on the importance of self-compassion, authenticity, and trusting the client's inner wisdom in the coaching process. They also touch on the challenges of leadership, personal fatigue, and the role of storytelling in making coaching concepts relatable.

In this episode, Eryn and L' Shawn interview Aaron King, a Jungian depth coach specializing in relationships. Aaron discusses his coaching approach and personal journey. The conversation covers Aaron's background transitioning from a 35-year career as an Emmy-winning creative director in entertainment to becoming a coach after hitting rock bottom with addiction and recovery. Aaron explains how he helps clients uncover unconscious patterns and triggers by identifying what they're protecting themselves from, using Jungian archetypes like the warrior and the sage to understand behavior, and helping clients develop agency through conscious choice rather than defaulting to people-pleasing or addictive behaviors. The discussion includes practical examples of his coaching process, including a case study of a client who needed to process childhood trauma to restart her career, and explores how facing fears and asking "what am I keeping myself safe from" can reduce the power that difficult emotions hold over individuals. Learn more at www.relationship.coach

Eryn and L' Shawn discuss the question "Why is it so hard to ask for what you need?" They explore how unclear needs, shifting wants, and the myth of mind reading in relationships make it difficult to ask. Eryn shares an example from an art fair where she didn’t take a needed break due to ego and delegation concerns. L' Shawn reflects on trust issues, delegation challenges, and insights from a Family Constellations exercise that revealed a colleague's perceptions of her as micromanaging and distrustful. They both link the struggle to upbringing and cultural norms that discouraged children from voicing needs, leading to a lack of agency and language as adults. They suggest that coaching, mindfulness, and observing models of clear communication could help develop the skill to ask for needs.

This episode continues the conversation about flourishing, with L' Shawn and Eryn discussing what it means to flourish and how it shows up in their lives. L' Shawn shares how she experiences flourishing through learning and leadership development with Coloradans for the Common Good, particularly in preparing for an upcoming trip to New Orleans and engaging with diverse organizers. Eryn reflects on how flourishing involves being present and noticing unnoticed growth, sharing personal examples including managing minor health concerns without immediately worrying and working through business development decisions with a friend. They explore the distinction between pain and suffering, with L' Shawn noting that pain is inevitable but suffering arises when people cut themselves off from well-being and fixate on pain.

L' Shawn and Eryn discuss the concepts of hope, faith, and intention, drawing from L' Shawn’s reading of Melvin L. Rogers’ book, "The Darkened Light of Faith, Race, Democracy, and Freedom in African American Political Thought." L' Shawn explores hope as an active commitment to a desired outcome, linking it to historical struggles for justice and the role of faith in sustaining hope. Eryn connects these ideas to coaching, emphasizing the importance of intention, motivation, and the process of becoming in both individual and societal contexts. They reflect on how coaches can hold space for clients’ growth and the interplay between hope, faith, and intentional action in personal development and grief work. The conversation concludes with coaching nuggets of wisdom focused on understanding and applying hope, faith, and intention in daily life.

In this episode, Eryn and L' Shawn wrap up the final section of their guided journal, "Flourish," with L' Shawn and Eryn discussing the themes of hope, intentionality, and personal growth. They reflect on how journaling can support living a meaningful and purposeful life, and share personal experiences with journaling practices. Eryn describes a new daily journaling method she found helpful, while L' Shawn connects the concept of flourishing to imagery like a vibrant garden. They explore what flourishing means beyond achievement, emphasizing openness, alignment with values, and staying connected to oneself and others.