Cocktales On the Rx

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The first four of seventeen excuses on how we give an angry, controlling and abusive partner the authority on abuse. Do we excuse an alcoholic or a drug addict for their actions while under the influence, or even consider their source of insight ?  The more we know about their excuses and why many abusive men and women seem to be mentally ill but aren't really, the more we will stop making excuses for the smoke and mirrors. Only then, can we see clear enough to create healthier relationships in the home.  

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Perspective vs Point of View
Quarantine has made it to the top along side, Separation, Divorce, Quarantine, Abuse, however we like those challenging times, continuing to stay strong and getting help when you don't think you can go on, is key. 

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Coping With Separation And Divorce (Mental Health America)

Going through a separation or divorce can be very difficult, no matter the reason for it. It can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the work day and stay productive. But there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment.

Recognize that it’s OK to have different feelings. It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. You also may feel anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over time. Even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening.

Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or superwoman; take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.

Don’t go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships and overall health. Don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

Take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Be good to yourself and to your body. Take time out to exercise, eat well and relax. Keep to your normal routines as much as possible. Try to avoid making major decisions or changes in life plans. Don’t use alcohol, drugs or cigarettes as a way to cope; they only lead to more problems.

Avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. If a discussion begins to turn into a fight, calmly suggest that you both try talking again later and either walk away or hang up the phone.

Take time to explore your interests. Reconnect with things you enjoy doing apart from your spouse. Have you always wanted to take up painting or play on an intramural softball team? Sign up for a class, invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends.

Think positively. Easier said than done, right? Things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends, and moving forward with reasonable expectations will make this transition easier. Be flexible. If you have children, family traditions will still be important but some of them may need to be adjusted. Help create new family activities.

Life will get back to normal, although “normal” may be different from what you had originally hoped.

Tips for talking to kids …

If you have children, here’s a short list of tips that can help your young children and teens cope.

Reassure and listen. Make sure your kids know that your divorce is not their fault. Listen to and ease their concerns, and be compassionate but direct in your responses.

Maintain stability and routines. Try to keep your kids’ daily and weekly routines as familiar and stable as possible.

Offer consistent discipline. Now that your kids may share time with both parents separately, make sure to agree in advance on bedtimes, curfews and other everyday decisions, as well as any punishments.

Let your children know they can rely on you. Make and keep realistic promises. And don’t overly confide in them about your feelings about the divorce.

Don’t involve your children in the conflict. Avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids. Don’t use them as spies or messengers, or make them take sides.

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Lisa is back to discuss the dangers and solutions she practiced to begin restoring the relationship with her son. Lisa generously shares personal experience in parent alienation and the dangers of violating a child and their right to love both parents. 
Every child has a fundamental right and need to love both parents. The results of parent alienation is no different than child abuse, mental abuse, and psychological abuse it is destructive and harmful, causing family violence to both child and parent. We recently discovered that parent alienation is now both child abuse and family violence, it is more prevalent than ever, violating millions of children and parents around the world. 

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Sharing her darkest moments and rough times that brought her to her knees Author Francine Putkowski, with honesty, compassion, and grit, takes you on her personal journey through broken marriages, on the way to the truth of self-love and meeting and marrying her forever partner and husband, Wade. Click on link below to purchase and follow on amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Wants-Find-You-Learning/dp/1733757732

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Miranda takes us on a beautiful adventure of sexuality and worth. Her journey through being a child of divorce and her return back home to self love and empowerment. See Miranda’s contact and workshops below:

Contact Information:

Insta: @miranda.amora

Email: [email protected]

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Offerings:

•One on one journeys via coaching 

•The Womxn’s Sensory Awakening is March 7th at 7:30pm Light On Lotus in Venice, CA

•Assisting at 2 Upcoming Retreats in Bali:

1) Living Through Pleasure 

May 1-6

2) Deep Dive: journey into human connection

July 20-27

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Stripping down to the nitty gritty of life after divorce On the Rx with Leanne from....
Oh God Mom. A podcast.  

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Our first guest from Cocktales On the Rx,  previously Divorce Whisperer Instagram community. Mel and I talk candidly about her unpredictable situation and how we are violated by people we love and trust. You know the ones  they claim they are a  “good guy”