-What does codependency look like in new motherhood? 

-How can the healthy and natural dependency between mothers and children turn into unhealthy and unnatural ‘codependency’ when parents over-identify with their role as parents?

-Why do we need to get clear on what our values are in order to maintain our sense of self and avoid enmeshment in our families?

Welcome to Episode 105! This week, Kelly Fabiano joins us to talk about codependency in new motherhood. You’ll hear Kelly reflect on experiences of codependency in her own experience as a new mom as well as the women she works with as a coach. Kelly describes how new moms are often codependent by putting the opinions and perspectives of others–family members, friends on social media, and everyone in society–at the forefront of their minds. We explore the consequences of codependency on new mothers and end with ways you can combat them by getting in touch with your values. It’s a must-listen!

More on this episode’s guest:

Kelly Fabiano is a life coach that supports moms in reconnecting with their mind, body and purpose. She supports them in ending the tug-of-war between career, kids and their identity outside of motherhood so that they live a life that lights them up inside.

www.lifeanddeathwithkelly.com 

@kellylynnlifecoaching / @tilldeathdoulaparts

Freebie: https://lifeanddeathwithkelly.com/21daystoyou 

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Journal! The Confiding Codependummy: 30 Days of Journaling Prompts for a Less-Codependent and More-Conscious YOU for just $1 a day. www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing 

Support by donating Money/Funds! Help the show via a one-time donation via secure Paypal link: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC 

Work with me! Email [email protected] to schedule a free 30-minute consultation.

More deets on the episode:

We begin with the “typical two” and hear about how Kelly defines codependency as well as experiences of it from her own life. She opens up about ways she put the opinions and perspectives of others at the forefront of her mind, especially as a new mom where she often thought about what her family, “mom friends” on social media, and others in the larger society expected from her. 

Kelly describes ways she and the women she works with engage in codependent behavior in early motherhood, including difficulty asking for help from partners, comparison on social media, and taking action to please the implicit and explicit opinions of others. 

Kelly and I reflect on how vulnerable new mothers are and how, as codependents, they may be particularly sensitive to the opinions of others in their families, social media, and society at large. 

How does Kelly help women avoid these codependent traps? She describes how she helps her coachees with defining their mission states, getting clear on their values, and boundaries. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! Both external boundaries as well as internal ones. The internal boundaries like separating our self-worth from the behavior of our kids (or others in our families). 

Thanks for coming on Kelly!

And thank you, dear listener, for listening! 

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-The Self-Validation Challenge - free 30-day guide to providing yourself with all the validation you seek: www.codependummy.com/challenge

-Get your copy of the Confiding Codependummy: 30 days of journaling prompts for a less-codependent and more-conscious you! www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing 

-If you are wanting to dive into your codependency deeper one-on-one, please email [email protected] to work with me!

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See you next week!