Here is what was covered in this episode: 

• I got this request from a podcast listener! Let’s learn what codependency is, how it relates to attachment, and why we’re prone to it as relational creatures.
• Codependency is a condition where someone relies too much on another person in an unhealthy and self-destructive way.
• Human beings are wired to form attachments and relationships for survival. We are wired to attach, even to people that aren’t good for us.
• Codependency can feel like relationship addiction, but unlike other addictions, we need relationships to survive.
• Even people from healthy childhood backgrounds can fall into codependent relationships because everyone is wired to connect.
• Signs of codependency include prioritizing others’ needs over your own, losing a sense of self, feeling guilty for doing things for yourself, and needing your partner to feel happy.
• People may stay in harmful relationships because their neurobiology prefers attachment, even to unhealthy partners, over being alone.
• Childhood experiences, such as witnessing dysfunctional relationships, can shape our relationship patterns in adulthood.
• Codependent relationships are often filled with drama, emotional destruction, and cycles of extreme highs (honeymoon phases) followed by intense lows (drama and danger).
• The brain, particularly the amygdala, can drive unhealthy attachment by perceiving the potential loss of a relationship as a survival threat.
• Codependent relationships can trigger a constant need for reassurance and fear of abandonment, making it difficult to leave.
• It’s important to get therapy or coaching from someone who can be honest about the situation and help you break the cycle.
• Codependence Anonymous (CoDA) and 12-step programs can also be helpful in navigating these issues.
• Remind yourself that you deserve love, happiness, and safety, even if you don’t fully believe it at first. Start by telling yourself that you do deserve better.

Helpful Links: 

• CODA
• Codependent No More