Codeswitch Rebellion

What happens when you build something new, and the pushback comes from the last people you expected?

Dr. Melissa “Melz” Jones has been a dentist for 30 years. Her daughter Ariel is her co-founder. Together they built something her colleagues didn’t think a doctor should touch.

This is a fun one, full of mama-daughter shade, real talk, and a whole lotta laughs.

We get into why I side-eyed my friends at an Atlanta swap meet, the patent-pending idea that puts diamonds on your retainer, and who’s getting rich off our grills.

Dr. Melz asks if she can be herself on the mic. (You already know my answer.) She explains why they remade one gold tooth four times, even though it fit the first time. Ariel tells us exactly how she plans to pull up to Publix.

And the two of them still can’t agree on what grade Ariel was in when this whole thing started.

Nobody’s gonna dentist like Dr. Melz.

About Dr. Melz

Dr. Melissa “Melz” Jones is a celebrity dentist, entrepreneur, oral aesthetics innovator, and speaker, redefining the intersection of dentistry, luxury, and personal expression. As founder of Melz Grillz and the innovator behind the patent-pending Icy Ortho, Dr. Jones is expanding the possibilities of her profession beyond the traditional dental chair.

Alongside her daughter and co-founder, Ariel Jones, she is building a multi-generational business while inspiring other women to see their professional expertise as a launching point for innovation, entrepreneurship, and greater visibility.

Connect with Dr. Melz and Ariel Jones

Melz Grillz: melzgrills.co

Instagram: @melz.grillz

Ariel: @ariel.thebrand

Ready to stop toning it down?

Start With SELF is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Get clear on who you are, so nobody else gets to decide what’s a good look for you. Introductory rate: $97 → https://mellynated.com/self

Join the Rebellion:

New episode every Wednesday, sent right to your inbox so you never have to go looking. → https://link.mellynated.com/widget/form/U72K21nZfCOLHluvZPas

Come talk to me on Substack. Has the “tone it down” in your business ever come from your own people? Tell me what they said. → https://substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

Sometimes it's not the client telling you to tone it down. It be your own people. Your mama. Your auntie. The mentor who looks just like you.

"Girl, I hear you. But we gotta get paid."

They mean well. So you listen, you play it safe, and save the real you for the group chat.

In this one, I get into where that advice really comes from and why it made sense for the people who gave it. I tell you about the day I went to lunch on my first day at a job and never came back. Then we look at the numbers on what playing it safe has actually gotten us.

I also tell you how I built a 300-member community by not giving a damn about toning it down, and what I say now when somebody I love tells me to play it safe.

Your people are out there. They're waiting on the real you.

JOIN THE REBELLION

New episode every Wednesday, sent right to your inbox so you never have to go looking. → https://link.mellynated.com/widget/form/U72K21nZfCOLHluvZPas

Ready to stop toning it down?

Start With SELF is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Get clear on who you are before anybody else tries to tell you. Introductory rate: $97 → https://mellynated.com/self

Come talk to me on Substack. Who told you to tone it down first, and what were they protecting you from? Drop it in the comments. → https://substack.com/@mellynated

Research mentioned:

• Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham, Righteous Discontent (1993), the origin of "respectability politics"
• American Express, 2019 State of Women-Owned Businesses Report: https://blackenterprise.com/black-women-entrepreneurs-earn-24000-average-revenue-according-to-report/
• Stackla Consumer Content Report (2017): https://laopinion.com/latinowire/stackla-survey-finds-authenticity-drives-brand-affinity-and-consumer-created-content-influences-purchases/

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

What happens when the Black girl who learned to survive through silence finally decides to speak?

My guest this week has spent her whole career on that. Dr. Ayana Tyler Hardaway is a sociologist and the author of From Crack Mother to Wildflower, and in her book she calls codeswitching "shape-shifting." She says it's our superpower, a gift that got passed down so we could survive.

We did it because we had to, and nobody's wrong for that.

But a lot of us left corporate, started our own thing, and brought all that behavior right into our businesses. You do it long enough and you don't even have words for it anymore. It's just how you move.

So is it really a superpower?

We got a scholar in the house for this one, OK? She went back through her own story, then her mother's, and built a 5-step writing method to help us rewrite our truths and get back to the root of who we really are.

I ain't gonna hold you, it is not sexi work. But if you keep saying you want to show up as yourself and you don't know where to start, start here.

Ugh...this conversation came at the perfect time for me, and you'll hear why.

Take the drab gray blazer off, boo.

About Ayana

Dr. Ayana Tyler Hardaway is an award-winning author, sociologist, educator, and founder of Wildflowers and Co. Her memoir, From Crack Mother to Wildflower: Writing to Transgress, introduces the Sankofa Writing Method.

Connect with Dr. Ayana Tyler Hardaway

Website: https://ayanathardaway.com

The book: https://www.amazon.com/Crack-Mother-Wildflower-Writing-Transgress-ebook/dp/B0DD5HKJK9

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ayanathardaway/

Join the Rebellion

Join the Rebellion. New episode every Wednesday, sent right to your inbox so you never have to go looking. → https://link.mellynated.com/widget/form/U72K21nZfCOLHluvZPas

Ready to stop shape-shifting?

Start With SELF is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Get clear on who you are before you decide how to show up. Introductory rate: $97 → https://mellynated.com/self

Come talk to me on Substack. What gift did you put a blazer on? Tell me in the comments. → https://substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

Somebody asks what you do and you fumble...

You downplay it, give a generic job title that explains nothing, and even try to change the subject.

That's shrinking.

How you talk about your work tells people what you believe about your work.

In this one, I get into where the shrinking comes from and why "humble" ain't gonna get you paid. I pull from 15 years as a resume writer, including the one word I rejected on sight.

Then we go through every place you're doing it without noticing, including the payment plan nobody asked for.

I also tell you how my resume company's tagline went from cute to a promise of $15K–$50K salary increases, and why it took me a while to own that.

And I give you my own answer to "what do you do."

Say it with your chest.

Ready to stop shrinking?

Start With SELF is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Get clear on who you are before you try to explain what you do. Introductory rate: $97 → https://mellynated.com/self

Come talk to me on Substack. What do you say when somebody asks what you do? Drop it in the comments. → https://substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/show/VLPLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz?sbp=KgtORDVOa0JWZFVURUAB

codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

You post the win. The launch. The client result. The 40 under 40.

You skip the part where you were crying in the car.

Because you a strong Black woman. You got this.

But what if being the strong one is the exact thing keeping your brand from growing?

This episode is about the strong Black woman narrative...where it came from, what a 2025 study found, and how we can tell start telling the true story.

I walk through how the Strong Black Woman shows up in your business.

Links:

Research I mentioned:

The strong Black woman stereotype and identity shifting among Black women in academic and other professional spaces (Hall et al., 2025) → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12145493/

The Giscombe Superwoman Schema Questionnaire (Dr. Cheryl Woods-Giscombé) → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7220093/

Ready to stop performing?

Start With Self is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Go back to who you were before the degrees, before corporate, before you learned how to shrink. Introductory rate: $97 → https://mellynated.com/self

Which of the five is running your business right now? Come tell me on Substack, where we go deeper on every episode: https://substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

Listen to more episodes: codeswitchrebellion.com/listen

Your identity is the strategy.

Timestamps:

1:31 The strong Black woman thing

1:55 Most disrespected, most resilient

2:59 76.8% of us claim it

3:16 The Superwoman Schema

4:30 Nobody checks on the strong one

5:45 The Black woman rest era

6:10 The stronger you are, the more you shift

8:20 You don't ask for help

9:36 You can absorb it

10:11 You can't say business is hard

11:25 You help everybody for free

12:25 Stay positive through everything

13:47 "Girl, I'm blessed"

14:08 Tell the real story

15:38 Ask for help

16:30 The takeaway

So you decided. No more shrinking, no more gray blazer version of you. You're going to show up as your full authentic self in business.

Then you get on the call and do it again anyway.

Deciding is not the same as being able to.

My guest this week is Michelle Lynn, a certified clinical hypnotherapist and breath work practitioner who spent 30+ years in the Navy and government service before she went looking for something more and found hypnotherapy.

She's also my client, so I'm particularly close to her story.

She explains why your affirmations aren't landing, why your conscious mind and your subconscious are not on the same page, and what to do in the actual moment when you feel yourself buttoning up on a sales call.

Connect with Michelle:

Website: MichelleLynnHypnosis.com (written and designed by Melly)

Instagram: instagram.com/michellelynnhypnosis

Free hypnotherapy consult: michellelynnhypnosis.com/contact

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Timestamps:

1:15 Meet Michelle Lynn

3:23 Twenty years in the Navy to hypnotherapy

8:09 No, you won't bark like a dog

11:23 Why your affirmations aren't working

13:52 Celebrating the chameleon

15:37 We checked all the boxes and still

16:04 Do you even know who you are?

18:15 A bow or a plate of hot sauce

21:20 Authentic doesn't mean asshole

23:56 Activated is your responsibility

26:16 Most of us aren't breathing

28:32 When you catch yourself on a sales call

31:59 How much time you actually need

36:40 "You like to question people"

40:47 Where to find Michelle

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Ready to stop performing?

Start With SELF is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Go back to who you were before the degrees, before corporate, before you learned how to shrink. Introductory rate: $97 → https://mellynated.com/self

What came up for you listening to this? Come tell it on Substack, where we go deeper on every episode: https://substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

Binge the first season: codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

You pick the outfit an hour early. You practice the intro. You decide how much personality is safe to bring in the room. You spend an hour networking while constantly self-editing.

Then you get in the car afterward and you can barely keep your eyes open.

You call it a long day.

Your body would call it something else.

This episode is about what all that editing is actually doing to you. Not just the mood. Your brain. Your nervous system. And eventually your business.

I get into three pieces of research, a client who can't turn it off at night, and the networking group where I showed up every month in a gray blazer being the only Black girl in the room, calling it strategy.

The funny part is, code switching works. That's exactly why it's so hard to stop. But at what cost?

Research I mentioned:

The Costs of Code-Switching (Harvard Business Review) → https://hbr.org/2019/11/the-costs-of-codeswitching

To be, or not to be…Black: racial codeswitching and perceived professionalism → https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2021.104199

Do US Black Women Experience Stress-Related Accelerated Biological Aging? (Dr. Arline Geronimus) → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2861506/

The Giscombe Superwoman Schema Questionnaire (Dr. Cheryl Woods-Giscombé) → https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7220093/

Ready to stop performing?

Start With Self is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Go back to who you were before the degrees, before corporate, before you learned how to shrink. Introductory rate: $97 → mellynated.com/self

What does your body do after a long day of being "on"? Come tell it on Substack, where we go deeper on every episode: substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

More: codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

Timestamps:

1:40 The only Black girl in the room

3:14 It was never just how you talk

3:47 The work underneath the work

4:22 What the research says it's costing you

4:52 It works. That's the trap.

6:08 She can't turn it off

7:25 Your body is keeping receipts

8:31 Build a transition ritual

11:02 Superwoman Schema

12:04 I was cosplaying white ladies

13:14 Your degrees are not the differentiator

14:18 Say it how you'd say it to your sister

Somebody says something to you. On the surface it sounds fine. Almost like a compliment.

Then your stomach does that thing.

WAYMENT! Was that shade?

Season 2 opens with the question every Black woman in business has asked herself, and then talked herself out of asking.

I share 3 stories. One I had to decode. One I didn't have to decode at all. And one where I chucked dueces.

There's no HR department in your business. You're it. So you're going to have to decide.

Ready to stop performing?

Start With Self is a self-guided identity process. Six modules, one weekend. Go back to who you were before the degrees, before corporate, before you learned how to shrink. Introductory rate: $97 → mellynated.com/self

Got a story? I know I'm not the only one. Come tell it on Substack, where we go deeper on every episode: substack.com/@mellynated

Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLp4tHH05phcnjPgkXdhP1uDtcFaydNPbz

More: codeswitchrebellion.com

Your identity is the strategy.

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Timestamps:

1:01 Was that shade?

2:05 What a microaggression actually is

4:40 Why entrepreneurs have it different

6:08 "You like to question people"

9:56 When they villainize your superpower

12:47 "Your hair gives beach vibes"

14:19 Braids are not seasonal

17:08 When it's bigger than a micro

19:50 The resignation

21:15 "Educate me" is not your job

22:30 Clock it, correct it, or get the hell on

27:06 What eating it actually costs

You've heard Mel talk about stopping the performance. But what does it actually look like when you do?

In this episode, Mel sits down with career development and leadership coach Torriel Harris for a conversation that gets real about what happened when two Black women decided to stop code switching in their businesses, their branding, and how they show up every single day.

Links:

Torriel's Command the Room, Sis Program: torrielharris.net/ctrs

TikTok about President of Heritage Foundation: tiktok.com/t/ZP8pSQgt6/

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Be a Codeswitch Rebellion guest for season 2: mellynated.com/podcast

Timestamps:

0:00 — Introduction & Guest Overview

1:06 — Show Intro

1:45 — Welcome, Torriel Harris

2:17 — Torriel's Work & Why She Chose It

2:52 — Torriel's Journey: New York, California & Back

5:39 — How Her Business Was Born

6:13 — Fear of Niching Down to Black & Brown Women

7:53 — The Business Coach Who Pushed White Male Role Models

9:05 — Dealing With Trolls & Staying in Your Lane

10:12 — The Stats: Promotion Disparities for Women of Color

12:52 — The Movement to Get 1,000 Black & Brown Women Promoted 1

4:03 — Torriel's Personal Journey of Self-Acceptance

15:08 — Rejecting White Standards of Professionalism

16:15 — The Anti-Racist Art Center That Changed Everything

18:32 — Redefining What Professionalism Actually Means

21:17 — "Professionally Dope" — Knowing Your Zone of Genius

22:54 — Authentic Marketing: What You See Is What You Get

24:35 — The Layoff & The Journey Back to Self

27:26 — Self-Acceptance & Personal Branding as Identity Work

33:22 — Torriel's Program: Command the Room Sis

35:32 — Stop Downplaying Your Greatness

37:08 — Black Women Carry the Weight of the World

38:18 — Black Women as Catalysts for Change (The TikTok)

39:23 — Own Your Accomplishments

40:28 — Wrap Up & Season 2 Preview

You've been rewriting the same email. Tweaking the same post. Waiting until it's ready.

But what if ready never comes?

In this episode, Mel gets into the lie we've all been sold about perfection, and why the standard you've been chasing was never about excellence in the first place.

Links:

Book a Digital Brand Audit: mellynated.com/digitalbrandaudit

Join the rebellion on Substack: substack.com/@mellynated

Subscribe to the YouTube channel: youtube.com/@melanieldenny

Timestamps:

Introduction: The Myth of Perfection (00:00:00)

The Impossibility of Perfection (00:01:20)

The Root of Perfectionism (00:02:27)

Seeking Acceptance Through Perfection (00:03:33)

Digital Brand Audit Promotion (00:04:04)

Client Story: The Professional Organizer (00:04:42)

What We're Really Striving For (00:06:00)

Authenticity is the Closest Thing to Perfection (00:07:06) polished.

A Call to Action: Stop Overthinking (00:08:23)

Personal Story: Overcoming Speaking Insecurities (00:09:32)

Conclusion: Serve Those Who Need You (00:11:38)