Before coffee, humanity ran on "low battery mode"—mostly beer, wine, and going to bed at sunset. Then, an Ethiopian goat herder noticed his goats were dancing after eating some weird red berries, and suddenly, the world woke up.

In this episode, we pour a fresh cup and trace the history of the world’s favorite legal drug. We cover:

• The Goat Origin Story: Did a goat named Kaldi actually discover caffeine, or was he just the first guy to realize his livestock was tweaking?

• The "Devil's Drink": How religious leaders tried to ban coffee as "Satan's bitter invention" until the Pope tasted it and decided it was too delicious to let the non-Christians have all the fun.

• The "Penny Universities": How coffee houses became the "Internet before the Internet," leading to the invention of stock markets, insurance, and revolutions.

In the studio: Travis explains to Tom why civilization used to be slightly drunk all day, and shares a surprisingly wholesome story about falling in love at a Waffle House.