Dan kicks things off with the details of a weekend trip to a snooker club in Peterborough. Alongside navigating drugged-up staff members, the publican is forced to do the unthinkable: step foot inside a Wetherspoons.

On the other end of the line, Luke provides an update on his investigation into exposing an ex-coworker's side hustle on a rogue Polish adult website. He's also fresh from a trip to the darts, bringing back tales of extortionate ‘two-pinters’; a monstrous drinking vessel that baffles Dan.

Plus, the lads tackle the official ONS 1996 name rankings, the tragic death of an EastEnders legend, and why Luke finds The Cat in the Hat repulsive.