Susan Hoskins (my long-time friend) and Carolyn Weaver of Columbus, GA became friends through small groups at church. When Carolyn couldn’t put one foot in front of the other, her granddaughter took her to church. Susan, however, ran like a horse out of the gate, eager to re-enter a spiritual community she’d been missing while caring for her ailing husband. They found each other on the A-Team (Admin Team), a small group of servants who stock the shelves at the Columbus campus of Church of the Highlands. They found comfort and friendship through this team and two other groups that consisted of widows. They renamed the one where they play games, “The Fun Group for Widows”.

Susan also found joy in frequent trips to art events and walks with her intentional friend, Carol, who at their first lunch handed her a single-spaced sheet full of events to which she was invited. While Carol admitted she didn’t know how to help Susan, she invited her along to what she was already doing. Turns out she did know how to help!

Carolyn makes sure she leaves her house every day even if it’s just for a carwash or to get gas. Twice a week she eats by herself at her favorite chicken restaurant where she’s even met some other regulars. Routine helps her in her grieving, and she knows without a plan she could be too much of a loner.

SURTHRIVAL tips for widows include:

· Find purpose. They found theirs through service.

· Find community. You may have to do the inviting or put yourself out there.

· Establish routines. Having a reason to get out of bed and something to do helps.

· Do things you enjoy even if you have to force yourself initially.

· Find ways to reclaim spaces that may be triggers. Ask a friend to help.

· Explore new things (this one’s mine). You’ll never know ‘til you try.