What are you doing out there in the cold? Come inside, grab a drink, and celebrate our weirdest, most awkward holiday: Festivus! Just like we learned from Frank Constanza in the classic 1997 Seinfeld episode, we gather around the aluminum pole and marvel at our Feats of Strength, commiserate by Airing Grievances, and get real with some genuine Festivus Miracles. Grab a chair, light up a Lucky Strike, and enjoy the holiday vibe. Hey, where's that waiter with the tray of cheese puffs??