Lauren drove over to Joy's studio for this one. It's the first time the two of them had sat down together in about a month, and the first new conversation since the archival values workshop that ran last week. The value this week is community, and Joy came with research she could not wait to read out loud.
In this episode:
* The verdict on the 40-day YAP challenge. Lauren made it to about day 35 and then could not bring herself to yap one more time. What she learned about daily posting, and why it is so embarrassing to be seen trying something new.
* Joy’s update on working with a creative coach, and what changes when someone matches your energy instead of pushing you.
* The value this week is community, and Joy brings receipts. The 2023 Surgeon General advisory found that lacking social connection carries a mortality risk comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
* Why the most digitally connected generation is also reporting loneliness at or above the rates of older adults.
* Hurt that happens in community needs to heal in community. Relational wounds require shared safety, accountability, and connection to truly repair.
* How long do you keep repairing a relationship before you accept that it is not repairable? Nobody teaches us this.
* Rupture, repair, and the stability in between. Plus what Survival of the Thickest gets right about the awkwardness of going first.
* Third places, and where they went. Gyms, art studios, D&D groups, golf clubs, the writers group that meets in town.
* Inconvenience is the price of community. And the harder half of that deal, which is letting other people be inconvenienced for you.
* Forgiveness is not the same thing as repair. You can forgive someone completely without inviting them back into your life.
* What Joy is learning about managing her 12 week year goals, and the four things she now attaches to every single one.
* What Lauren is learning about avoiding the project that needs her whole brain, and how to be gentle with herself in it.
* What’s coming up. Lauren has a retreat in October and knows exactly what she wants to lead. Joy is holding a lot of summer, and her youngest turns 13.
✍️ Prompts for this week:
Where do you feel the ache? We can be surrounded by people and notifications and still feel alone. Get specific about what kind of lonely it is. Lonely for a parent. Lonely for a partner. Lonely for a friend, or for a community. If you could have exactly what your heart is longing for right now, what would that be?
Name one real, in person, repeated point of contact in your life. Not just someone who exists in your life, but a connection that actually feeds you. Why does that one work?
If you want to go a step deeper: look at where you are holding resentment and where you could forgive. Take it to prayer, or to a therapist, or to whoever you process with.
LET US KNOW
We’d love to hear what community means to you or what you’re learning! Drop us a DM on Instagram (Joy or Lauren or both!) or leave a comment on YouTube or on Substack. We would love to hear from you.
Resources and Links Mentioned:
* The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris, the book behind the values workshop in Episode 5
* Christina Hubbard, creative coach
* The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington
* Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, the 2023 US Surgeon General advisory
* WHO Commission on Social Connection
* The Restless Heart by Ronald Rolheiser
* Find Your People by Jennie Allen
* Renovaré
Connect with us:
🐚 Joy Star Bright / Meridian Soul Care
* Website: https://www.meridiansoulcare.com/
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meridian.soul/
🪄 Lauren Barr / The Smarter Creative
* Website: https://thesmartercreative.com
* Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesmartercreative/
* YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thesmartercreative
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit comeandgrow.substack.com
