•           I am a perfectionist

•           Either it is right or it is wrong

•           Rules are rules

These types of phrases frequently come up when you try to manage warriors. Interestingly, players who use this technique are likely to make their pronouncements when others are around and will overhear. When focusing their play on one person usually a subordinate warriors like to be sure others hear so they learn not to test the player. They have been forewarned.

Warriors step on the feelings of others

Since most people are at least a little insecure about their competence and ability to work with others, these players play on others' insecurities. Some phrases from an office environment are instructive.

•           That is trash

•           More of the same old stuff

•           Dragging your feet

•           Out of your area of expertise

•           Roadblock

•           They followed by any negative pronouncement

Add any other phrase or statement to the list implying that the other person is at fault, incompetent or less skilled and cooperative than the player. The key is to get them where it hurts. …

Warriors are ready to go to war over anything

At first glance, these players may seem to be the same as those who never give an inch. Although they are chips off the same block, these players are just as likely to go for the throat for what they want as for what someone else wants. The crux of the technique is drawing blood. These players say things like:

•           If you won't go to the mat over the little things, they will just get out of hand

•           You either win or you lost

•           I enjoy a good fight

•           If they want to go to war over this, it is war they've got

After a while, it becomes clear that the war is the thing. Even if they get what they want, they will find something to argue about, hoping to start another war.

Warriors are harsh and abrasive

The essence of this technique is more in the delivery than in the content. Players who have mastered this technique understand that the barb must be short and quick to work well. It is a sharp jab, a well placed phrase or a quick response.

Ask the player, "Do you have a minute for a quick question?"

The instantaneous response is, "No, not right now. Then the player immediately turns his attention away from the person asking the question, if his attention was there to begin with. It is quick, specific, and allows no opportunity for discussion or rebuttal. The key is to hit and run.

The technique comes up in other contexts. For example, the player suddenly has to leave but says something cutting or troublesome on his way out the door. Those still in the room are left to deal with the problem.

Warriors never let anyone take advantage of them

The interesting point here is that these players think people are always trying to take advantage of them. They spend their time and energy figuring out how everything will lead to their getting had. Warriors are to be admired for the levels of energy they put into their game. It takes constant vigilance to be sure no one ever takes advantage of them.

One of their automatic questions is, "Why?"

"Would you like to go to lunch? "Why?"

"May I use your phone? "Why?"

"How's it going? "Why do you ask?"

The player's need is to evaluate everything in terms of how he might get had. His motto is, If I don't take care of myself, no one else is going to do it for me.

Warriors will argue with anyone, anywhere, at any time