“The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” so the saying goes. Psychologists tell us that a common enemy can create a very fast friendship. But they also tell us that relationships built on such things are shallow, fragile, and stand on a shaky foundation of context-dependent reactivity. On the other hand, psychologists tell us that bonding which occurs over common good, that which focuses more on what we are for than what we are against, creates relationships that take more time and effort, but are far deeper and more stable, characterized by greater trust and better conflict recovery, and can even have a positive impact on your physical health. “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” is not a Christian sentiment. Honesty, even when it’s difficult, and hospitality, even when it’s inconvenient, are marks of Christlikeness, relational health, and exactly the kind of discipleship we are called to. — Shae Wiens