Coming Out Late

(Show Notes coming - they're under construction.)

Support the show

In this follow-up episode to last week, Robin continues to answer a few more questions which were submitted by members of her Coming Out Late Facebook Group. In today’s episode of “Your Queer Questions Answered”, Robin discusses the following topics:

• Dividing up your marital assets don’t always have to be 50/50.
• Go over ALL of your expenses with a fine-tooth comb!
• Do you know what it costs to live in the housing you’re currently living in?
• Should you get rid of the house? Or budget even tighter and get a second job?
• What does it mean to ‘live below our means/?
• Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

Links to Resources:

PRIVATE ONE-on-ONE COACHING w/ROBIN DOUGLASS

Struggling to make sense-of and MANAGE this new aspect of your COMING OUT LATE life? Then send me an email and request my 1:1 Coaching Information Sheet. It really does make a BIG difference to have someone like myself who ‘gets you’ and who has been through it. Email me at [email protected] for my Coaching Info Sheet.

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Support the show

In this Part 2 episode, Robin continues being interviewed by Greg Sowell, host of his own podcast called, “Why Am I?” Greg’s premise behind his “Why Am I?” podcast, is that he likes talking to interesting people and tries to trace a path to where they were to where they find themselves today. Nonetheless, Robin makes an excellent guest on his show, because clearly her path to where she was to where she finds herself today is quite an unlikely path indeed.

In this episode, you will hear Greg interview Robin and learn . . .

• How and why Robin became a solopreneur, and what that means. (Hint: an unexpected and abrupt - and illegal - ending to her marital alimony suddenly had Robin scrambling to support herself.)
• Why Robin thinks we are all going through a metamorphosis throughout our lives, explaining why it’s important we embrace change and impermanence, because nothing stays the same - change is inevitable.
• Robin says, “...I always knew there was something more for me to do, to accomplish…always wanting to know my purpose in life…”
• How Robin followed the breadcrumbs along a 10-year journey.
• Recuperating from her nearly three-year divorce and how two and a half years after her divorce, she was faced with a very difficult financial and legal decision.
• How Robin freed herself from being beholden to her ex-husband, wanting to be fully self-sufficient and independent - depending only on herself.
• Theories on why there are droves of people coming out late in the last 4-7 years; and how many come out near their 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th+ birthdays.
• Coming to terms with being gay and how we choose to express ourselves (as gay people), publicly, AND, reconciling that expression of our gayness.
• Fear paralyzes us. When you’re feeling the fear, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Feel the fear and do it anyway.
• What roles do ‘comp-het’, ‘homophobia’, and deep-seeded denial play in our lives and how self-love, self-confidence and self-esteem can be the medicine!
• Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation for all the time, love and energy she pours into our Community. Any and all donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Support the show

In this episode, Robin is interviewed by Greg Sowell, host of his own podcast called, “Why Am I?” Greg’s premise behind his “Why Am I?” podcast, is that he likes talking to interesting people and tries to trace a path to where they were to where they find themselves today. Nonetheless, Robin makes an excellent guest on his show, because clearly her path to where she was to where she finds herself today is quite an unlikely path indeed.

In this episode, you will hear Greg interview Robin and learn . . .

• How and why Robin became a solopreneur, and what that means. (Hint: an unexpected and abrupt - and illegal - ending to her marital alimony suddenly had Robin scrambling to support herself.)
• Why Robin thinks we are all going through a metamorphosis throughout our lives, explaining why it’s important we embrace change and impermanence, because nothing stays the same - change is inevitable.
• Robin says, “...I always knew there was something more for me to do, to accomplish…always wanting to know my purpose in life…”
• How Robin followed the breadcrumbs along a 10-year journey.
• Recuperating from her nearly three-year divorce and how two and a half years after her divorce, she was faced with a very difficult financial and legal decision.
• How Robin freed herself from being beholden to her ex-husband, wanting to be fully self-sufficient and independent - depending only on herself.
• Theories on why there are droves of people coming out late in the last 4-7 years; and how many come out near their 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th+ birthdays.
• Coming to terms with being gay and how we choose to express ourselves (as gay people), publicly, AND, reconciling that expression of our gayness.
• Fear paralyzes us. When you’re feeling the fear, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Feel the fear and do it anyway.
• What roles do ‘comp-het’, ‘homophobia’, and deep-seeded denial play in our lives and how self-love, self-confidence and self-esteem can be the medicine!
• Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation for all the time, love and energy she pours into our Community. Any and all donations are deeply, deeply appreciated!!  Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Support the show

Some of us went a lifetime having ‘no clue’ we were attracted to women until much later in life. Others, on the other hand, always knew they ‘liked girls’, but stuffed it down, way down. Internal homophobia, deep-seeded homophobic denial, and compulsory-heteronormativity all played a huge role in delaying, and denying, our journey to discovering and embracing our true selves. One thing we late-bloomers know for sure is, if we were straight, we sure as heck wouldn’t be asking ourselves if we weren’t! But don’t take our word for it, keep listening to the Coming Out Late Podcast and hear the similarities in our stories.

In this episode, you will learn about…

-How Robin figured out she’s gay, (using her unique ‘research technique’) 

-How many of us get to the point of: “Ok. Enough is enough already. I have to figure this out! Why am I feeling this way toward women? ”

-So this IS a ‘thing’. It isn’t just me.” 

-Robin’s theory on her own deep homophobic denial 

-A few podcasts and books specifically for women questioning their sexuality

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 4-9, ‘26); Provincetown, MA, "Women's Week", (Oct. 15-18). Request details, by emailing Robin:  [email protected]

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

A few books I first read when I was questioning my sexuality were: Fleisher, Joanne, Living Two Lives: Married to a Man & In Love with a Woman, and Waters, Dawn Elizabeth, Switching Teams: What Coming Out Later in Life Taught Me About Love, Conquering Fear, and Accepting Change, and McCoy, Robin, Late Bloomers: Awakening to Lesbianism After Forty.

Support the show

How does one “follow the bread crumbs” to discover and/or confirm if they are gay or not? Great question! Married to a man for nearly 30-years, Robin had her “Aha!” moment literally on her 54th birthday. (No. That’s not a typo. She came out to herself at 54-years of age!) Robin takes you on her journey from those first vague and sporadic inner stirrings she felt about women to finally figuring out “what was wrong with her”. Robin shares with us how she cracked-her-case that had been plaguing her and brewing within her for decades - yet seemingly laid dormant throughout her lifetime. 

In this episode, you will learn about…

• What you can expect from this and future episodes of the Coming Out Late Podcast 
• Robins’ coming-out story and how she eventually came out to herself
• The events and clues that led-up to Robins’ “Aha!” moment 
• Compulsory-heteronormativity and internalized homophobia
• How did Robin figure out she’s gay? (Cliffhanger Clue: My Secret Research Project, explained in Episode #210 of the Coming Out Late Podcast.)      

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 4-9, ‘26); Provincetown, MA, "Women's Week", (Oct. 15-18). Request details, by emailing Robin:  [email protected]

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

You can follow Robin on Instagram at www.instagram.com/Late.Blooming.Lesbian

Support the show

In this week’s episode, Robin talks about the keys to living a serene and fulfilling life. Robin puts on her philosophical beret and covers topics such as “acceptance”, “surrendering”, “expectations” and “letting go” and what in the world does that have to do with coming out late?

• Give yourself permission to ‘think’ and ‘do’ differently; because we can!
• Nothing changes if nothing changes.
• We ALWAYS have options and choices to ‘think’ and ‘do’ differently.
• It’s how we respond to adversity, to challenge, that defines our character.
• We must accept we have no control over people, places, things & situations.
• The key to life, to serenity, and to living a fulfilled life is ACCEPTANCE.
• We learn how to accept by learning how to surrender; we learn how to surrender by learning how to LET GO.
• We need to learn how to let go of - and live free-from - ‘desired outcomes’ and ‘expectations’.
• The myth about chasing ‘ideal outcomes’. What’s the probability of catching our ‘desired outcomes’? What’s the cost of chasing our desired outcomes?
• We’re not in the CONTROL business - that’s codependency’s job!
• Wanna support our “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 4-9, ‘26); Provincetown, MA, "Women's Week", (Oct. 15-18). Request details, by emailing Robin:  [email protected]

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

Support the show

In this episode of Coming Out Late, Robin broaches a subject - a question really - that she hears almost more than any other topic or question. And that is, “Who Am I? (Since Coming Out Late)”. Maybe we’ve ‘lost ourselves’ in our marriage, or in our careers; maybe we’ve never really ‘been on our own or lived alone’ - ever! “Who Am I?” outside of my marriage, nuclear family and friendships? Do I even know what I’m passionate about?

• Who Am I Since Coming Out Late? That is the single most asked question among people who have, or are, coming out late.
• What does it mean, “Life is a journey, not a destination.”
• The process, (the journey), shapes us more than the outcome does.
• If we’re only focused on the finish line, we can miss out on our actual life.
• The meaning of our journey comes from who we become along the way — not what box we end up checking.
• There is no final, perfect endpoint.
• Your journey is the life you’re living - right now!
• Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 4-9, ‘26); Provincetown, MA, "Women's Week", (Oct. 15-18). Request details, by emailing Robin:  [email protected]

SUPPORT GROUPS:

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

Support the show

The holidays are upon us and we have only been ‘out’ for a short while; or maybe we haven’t quite come out to everyone yet; or maybe our soon-to-be-ex ‘outed’ you to his entire family. In this episode Robin and Chris talk about the upcoming holidays and how we plan ahead, prepare for and protect ourselves from some seriously uncomfortable holiday experiences.

• Keys to successful holidays: transparency, openness and honest communication.
• Use a lifeline if you need one, and have an exit plan
• Be ready for provocative questions by having a few pre-prepared responses.
• Develop a self-care practice/routine, (e.g., nourish all your senses
• Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass
• If you want more conversations around navigating the holidays when you’ve come out late, check out the previous “Coming Out Late” Episode #205.

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 4-9, ‘26); Provincetown, MA, "Women's Week", (Oct. 15-18). Request details, by emailing Robin:  [email protected]

SUPPORT GROUPS:

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

Support the show

The holidays can be particularly challenging for those who’ve just come out. Robin shares how to handle difficult situations with care and the importance of keeping lines of communication with your children and/or family as open as possible. Robin also discusses why the New Year is a perfect time to prioritize self care!

In this episode, you will learn…

• How to handle the holidays with your significant other or former significant other
• You don't have to spend an uncomfortable holiday unless there are children involved.
• Suggestions for how to manage difficult feelings in the same space with others
• Advice for asking your children what they expect on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day
• Try to be the one that initiates cohesiveness and togetherness and connectedness.
• The sooner our children realize and can adapt to and embrace change as something that just simply happens, and it's not something to be feared is good.
• The importance of making self care your number one priority
• Encouragement to let go of toxic relationships—no matter who they’re with
• We're gonna learn how to love ourselves or we're gonna learn how to shed our codependency because it's a new year.

LINKS TO RESOURCES:

Wanna support your “Coming Out Late” podcast? Then please consider buying Robin a “virtual” coffee as a sign of your appreciation. Simply go to: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass

2026 COMING OUT LATE RETREATS: Three Retreats are on the 2026 calendar, they are: Philadelphia, PA, (February 12-15, ‘26); San Diego, CA, (April 4-9, ‘26); Provincetown, MA, "Women's Week", (Oct. 15-18). Request details, by emailing Robin:  [email protected].

SUPPORT GROUPS:

MESSY MIDDLE MONDAY: Every OTHER Monday Evening - 50 minutes; 8:00pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Next Meetings: Jan. 5, 19; Feb. 2, 16; Mar. 2, 16, 30; Apr. 20, (No Meeting: Apr. 13). No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/RobinDouglass/e/165736

THE EXPANSIVE SUPPORT GROUP: Every OTHERTuesday - 75 minutes; 8pm EST / 5pm PST, in Zoom, via Buy Me A Coffee, $10/meeting; Tuesday Meeting Dates: Dec. 30; January 13, 27; February 10, 24; March 10, 24, etc.; No Refunds or Credits given once Registered. https://buymeacoffee.com/robindouglass/e/253374

Support the show