A goodbye note found on a computer. 

A father who says, “I don’t understand, but I love you.” 

A marriage that proves joy can grow in places once ruled by fear. 

From rural West Virginia to an online audience that shows up for humour, makeup, and honesty, we sit with Bobby Jean Spears as he traces a path from secrecy to self-belief.
 
 If you’re weighing how and when to come out, you’ll find practical advice: start with a trusted friend, build a small circle, and save the family talk for when you feel safe. 

If you’ve faced rejection, you’ll hear how life can still open up in surprising, ordinary, wonderful ways. 

Subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who needs a reminder that better isn’t a slogan; it’s a direction we can walk together.

Follow Bobby Jean:

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@bobbyjeanspears

IG https://www.instagram.com/itsbobbyjeanspears/

This episode also honours the legacy of Anne Algar, a lesbian trailblazer whose activism for lesbian mums shaped the ground we stand on for so many of us.

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

 The moment Christina saw a woman looking back at her in the mirror changed everything. "I can't really describe the euphoria," she reveals. "It was like finding something I didn't know was missing."

Christina's journey began with childhood signs that went unrecognised. Growing up in the 1990s, she always gravitated toward traditionally feminine activities and friendships with girls, yet lacked the framework to understand her identity. When her father bought her football tickets as a treat, she innocently asked, "Have I been really naughty? Is this a punishment?"

Her journey took a troubling detour at university when she first approached a GP about gender dysphoria, only to be dismissed with antidepressants that numbed rather than helped. "I was treating a symptom in a very negative, very non-constructive way," Christina reflects. Years passed before the COVID lockdown forced her to confront suppressed feelings and begin her transition in earnest.

Coming out proved so challenging that Christina initially wrote letters to friends, unable to verbalise her identity. While most relationships survived her transition, including a remarkable friendship with her supportive ex-wife, others couldn't accept her authentic self. Today, Christina works with trans support groups in Greater Manchester, helping others navigate similar journeys.

Her story illuminates the power of persistence through societal barriers and personal doubt. As Christina puts it: "It's a marathon, not a sprint... I never thought I'd be able to get to where I am now." Her experience reminds us that while finding yourself may be difficult, the joy of authenticity makes every step worthwhile. 

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

When Patrick Kitana Ettenes bluntly told his father "I suck dick, daddy" at 15 years old, it marked just one turning point in a life brimming with extraordinary challenges and triumphs. Born in Barbados in 1983 to a Dutch father and Trinidadian mother, Patrick's childhood was a paradox of privilege and pain—his father's high-profile security work with prime ministers and diplomats couldn't shield him from relentless bullying due to his feminine expression.

Patrick's shocking classroom experiences included teacher-orchestrated "games" where students chased and attacked him, leaving him with bruises and scratches his mother eventually noticed. Despite this trauma, he emerged with an indomitable spirit, eventually leaving Barbados for Cuba on a psychology scholarship at just 15, before settling in Manchester, UK, where he finally found community and acceptance.

But life in England wasn't the paradise he hoped for. Patrick survived an abusive relationship that left him homeless, battled substance abuse, contracted HIV, and was diagnosed with early onset dementia in his early thirties. Yet rather than succumbing to these challenges, he transformed them into fuel for activism. Finding no support groups for LGBTQ+ people with dementia, he created them himself, launching the "Bring Dementia Out" initiative with the Alzheimer's Society.

Patrick's identity journey is equally compelling—identifying as non-binary and sometimes presenting as female at conferences, he embraces both sides of himself while rejecting the pressure to undergo gender confirmation surgery after learning it might affect his sexual pleasure. His perspective on dementia is particularly remarkable, describing how as his brain degenerates, his empathy and intuition have heightened, giving him what he calls a "superpower" to help others.

Have you encountered someone whose resilience fundamentally changed how you view adversity? this extraordinary conversation that will challenge your perspectives on sexuality, gender, disability and the transformative power of turning personal trauma into community advocacy. 

Read more about Patrick's work and diagnosis here

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

What happens when you've spent nearly seven decades hiding your true self? Wendy Cole's story is a testament to courage, resilience, and the transformative power of authenticity.

Born in the late 1940s, Wendy knew from age three that she was a girl, despite being assigned male at birth. At ten years old, she bravely dressed in her mother's clothes and declared her truth—only to face threats of psychiatric commitment in 1950s America. Her journey took another painful turn in the 1970s when a psychiatrist called her a "freak" during her second attempt to transition, forcing her back into the closet with what she describes as "padlocks on the inside."

For the next 45 years, Wendy lived a life of quiet desperation—marrying, raising children, and building a successful tech career while suppressing her identity through marijuana and psychiatric medications. By 2014, at age 67, she had reached breaking point and was contemplating suicide.

Then everything changed. Discovering that medical understanding had evolved and treatment was now available, Wendy finally began her transition in 2015. The transformation was profound—not just emotionally, but physically. She lost 70 pounds, reversed her type 2 diabetes, and found a joy she never thought possible. "Transition saved my life," she tells us simply.

Today, Wendy works as a transition mentor, helping others navigate major life changes with her hard-won wisdom. Through her coaching, upcoming books, and podcast "Demystifying the Transgender Journey," she's dedicated to humanizing the transgender experience for the wider world.

Her message resonates far beyond the transgender community: "You're never too old to be yourself" and "The joy you'll find on the other side is something you never dreamed possible." Wendy's extraordinary journey proves that authenticity is worth fighting for—no matter how long the wait. 

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

Welcome back to Coming Out Stories after our six-month hiatus! As our seventh year begins, there have been moments when giving up seemed tempting. But looking at the increasingly hostile world around us, it's clear that now is precisely the time these stories need to be heard.

Season Six arrives during a critical period for LGBTQ+ communities worldwide. Here in the UK, the Supreme Court recently ruled that gender is defined by biological sex rather than gender identity, effectively undermining transgender existence and eroding hard-won equal rights. The FA has implemented a ban preventing trans women from playing in sanctioned football matches. Across the Atlantic, similar rollbacks of protections continue. These aren't merely political developments—they represent genuine threats to individuals who already face intense shame, hatred, and bigotry.

Our upcoming episodes feature a remarkable collection of voices that capture the full spectrum of the coming out experience. You'll hear from a trans woman describing the euphoria of finally seeing herself in the mirror, a person whose coming out was delayed by years after a mother's casual homophobic comment, someone whose gay awakening came through representation in "Queer as Folk," and many more. Our first episode features Wendy, who attempted to transition in the 1970s but would then wait another 45 years to finally become the woman she is today. Her powerful conversation with her wife from 1978 reveals the personal challenges faced by trans individuals across generations.

Follow us on Spotify or your preferred podcast platform, and please consider giving us a five-star rating to help others find these vital stories. Connect with us on Facebook and Instagram at Coming Out Stories Pod for updates and additional content. Share these stories—they might just save someone's life. 

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

How do you stay true to yourself when both society and your own family won't accept you?

Kuchenga Shenje is a remarkable trans woman, writer, and journalist, who first understood her true gender identity at just three years old.
Kuchenga's story is one of resilience and spiritual strength. Her childhood experiences shed light on the challenges trans folk face in a gender-normative environment and she shares the solace she found in trans representation on 90s talk shows.
Kuchenga's story is a powerful testament to preserving your true self against adversity.

You can follow Kuchenga on Instagram and X and do visit her website.

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

In this episode,  meet the hugely successful author Simon James Green.

Simon writes books for a YA audience that include vital representation for LGBTQ+ teens.  This has led to his books being vilified and even banned. 

Simon talks about growing up gay in the UK in the shadow of  Clause 28, a time when  being true to oneself seemed nearly impossible. 

Simon recounts his personal journey of gradual self-revelation—a roadmap marked by subtle hints and professional expressions rather than a single defining moment. This powerful narrative underscores the importance of visible LGBTQ+ role models and challenges the often unspoken assumption of heteronormativity. We explore the myriad ways people navigate their identities, reminding us all that creating safe spaces for genuine self-expression is vital.

We also discuss the ongoing challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community, delving into the resurgence of anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments and the book bans that Simon faces as an author. 

Oh, and our Emma is getting married!  HUGE congratulations to her and the wonderful Siobhan!

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

Imagine growing up wanting a Barbie doll but feeling afraid to ask for it.

In this episode, award-winning author Dean Atta, shares his poignant journey of self-discovery and the courageous story of coming out at 15. Dean reveals the trials and triumphs of navigating childhood and adolescence as a queer individual, offering a heartfelt reflection on his first crush and the strength he found within himself amidst rejection and misunderstanding.

Dean talks about the challenges of coming out within a mixed-race family during the 80s and 90s. We also discuss the powerful themes in his memoir, "Person Unlimited," and how cultural heritage has been a cornerstone in his journey toward self-acceptance. 

The conversation takes a broader look at the impact of LGBT representation in education and the ongoing fight for inclusivity. We discuss the significance of having queer-positive books in school curriculums, the importance of supportive educators, and the role of mental health practices in fostering resilience. 

Dean shares his personal journey to self-love, emphasizing the importance of nurturing supportive relationships and mental well-being. 

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

What does it mean to grow up LGBTQ+ in a conservative environment?
Jordan Gonsalves is a podcaster and journalist from New York, who shares his deeply personal journey of understanding his sexuality in the conservative suburbs of Houston, Texas.
Jordan's reflections on childhood bullying, societal pressures, and the early realization of being different paint a vivid picture of the struggles many LGBTQ+ individuals face during their formative years.

Growing up within a devout Catholic family, the fear of being gay led to years of self-suppression, but during an internship in San Francisco, Jordan found freedom in a new city and then support from a fellow gay intern.

This episode captures the raw emotions of living a double life and the ultimate release in embracing one's true self. From a transformative conversation by the San Francisco Bay to a revealing trip to India, Jordan's journey towards self-acceptance is compelling.

Moreover, the episode celebrates the preservation of queer history, featuring touching stories from the "But We Loved" podcast. Hear from queer elders like Stonewall Riots participant Martin Boyce, whose experiences echo the resilience and courage of the LGBTQ+ community across generations. Join us for a heartfelt and inspiring episode that underscores the power of storytelling and the enduring fight for acceptance and equality.

Find Jordan on X and Instagram

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production

What does it take to come out after 55 years of hiding your true self?

Kevin O'Connor, an author and a gay man found the courage to embrace his identity after decades of living a different life.
In this episode, you’ll hear Kevin's reflections on his early inklings of being gay in the 1960s, his struggles with authenticity, and the pivotal moment when his youngest son came out at 16, prompting Kevin to finally confront his own buried feelings.

This episode delves into the complexities of coming out later in life and the transformative power of embracing your true self.

Kevin's unique upbringing in a Victorian house-turned-funeral home provides the backdrop for his memoir "Two Floors Above Grief,"

Kevin's story isn't just about his personal journey; it's a testament to the evolving landscape of LGBTQ+ acceptance and rights.


Find out more about Kevin and his work here

Presented by Emma Goswell

Produced by Sam Walker

We'd love to hear YOUR story. Please get in touch www.comingoutstoriespodcast.com or find us on twitter @ComeOutStories and on Instagram @ComingOutStoriesPod

We have a book! Coming Out Stories is available at all major shops now!

JKP.com | Queerlit | Waterstones | Amazon

Coming Out Stories is a What Goes On Media Production