The Relationship Babe

Comparison - what to do when you find yourself over analyzing all your life choices?

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Have you ever had someone change jobs unexpectedly or get a divorce and you find yourself re-evaluating all your life choices?

This is exactly how my brain works so when I learned that my go-to power couple was getting a divorce last year I was like, "Wait, what?" I thought they were happy. Shit. Am I happy?"

Anyone else do this weird over analyzation of their life? Ok… glad I'm not alone.

This morning I found myself checking out an IG account I hadn't seen in a while. She was the person who inspired me to start a podcast and I couldn't help but think about what she was up to. I opened up her stories to hear her drop a bomb. She had left the company we both work for. Dude… she was a successful (in my eyes) 6 figure earner. I was moved to chills (not tears, cause I'm not a crier) when I heard her speak a few years ago. This change had me go from a leisurely brain break from work to analyzing if I need to switch careers.

Here are some tips to get through the "whoa. Do I need to make a move too?"

  1. Sit with the change. What will it feel like? What will it look like? How will you go about your day if ___ wasn't a part of it any longer?
  2. This is super generic and in my head, a bit "old school" but… make a pros/cons list. Get out your Trapper Keeper, draw a line down the middle of the page and GO!
  3. Know that you are not your thoughts. I started listening to a book called "Untethered Soul". I was moved add to cart while sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office when my mom had a breast cancer re-evaluation. The idea that "We are not our thoughts" intrigued me because I've had some pretty fucked up thoughts before. Smothering my husband with a pillow to muffle the snoring and analyzing how I would get away with murder. What would my kids think of me knowing I killed their dad. Are our life insurance policies up to date. You know, the usual. What in the actual EFF. I am a terrible person! No. You are not a terrible person you are NORMAL. Okay… back to thoughts. To be honest, this book was too abstract for me to wrap my mind around and the narrator bored me to tears (really this time) so I stopped listening. BUT I still think about that phrase often as my husband snores after lying down only 2 minutes and 27 seconds earlier. Instead, I reach for my earplugs.
  4. In some situations, you just gotta make the move!
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    The Relationship BabeBy Jess Wilkin