I'm not sure what the take-away of this is, but these are hard conversations. Maybe hard isn't the right word, maybe it is scary. I know fear is the root of a lot of our problems, but I also know sometimes fear is functional. When it comes to a conversation like this, with my guest Lori, I am not sure if the fear is functional or not. Lori is director of Include LGBTQ Empowered Life Coaching and Consulting, and an expert and advocate for the LGBTQ & Polyamorous/Kink community.  Lori is a non-binary sexually fluid human who bore witness to the impact of minority stress on queer identity development, and now strives to create affirming and positive environments for others.

The fear I speak of arises from trying to be respectful, conscious, and a decent human. In conversations like these, words become significant. They can be loaded with biases or blindspots that may cause damage. For someone who is not well versed or as educated on the topic it can feel like a minefield at times, just trying to not say the wrong thing. That can be hard and can cause some people to not even engage in the discussion (or worse). It is in those moments I try to maintain a healthy level of empathy and compassion (Lori's most important value) for what it feels like to be on the other side. Sure it can feel hard to have these conversations, but I have to remember how hard it can be to be gender fluid or queer-- how hard it can be to come out to your family and have some of the people you've loved your whole life treat you as less than a person. 

To do this conversation justice, I hoped to accomplish two things. First I wanted to really listen and understand Lori's story. Because these conversations can be hard, often people don't even get to hear what it is like to be Lori, what they've been through, and how they view life. Secondly, in the spirit of the show, I wanted to try to find a way to respectfully dig into some of the fear that surrounds these discussions. I wanted to genuinely/humbly explore why some people cannot accept Lori for who they are, what role science plays in sexuality and gender, and what all of this can teach us about human nature. The conversation was hard at times and I am sure I did not always say the right thing, but I really appreciated Lori engaging in the open dialogue with me. Their perspective and insights around the role compassion plays in all of this is much needed.