This week on Alcohollywood, we praise Crom with our review and drinking game to 1982's Conan the Barbarian, the John Milius flick that put Arnold Schwarzenegger on the map! This silent, episodic epic follows the eponymous barbarian (Schwarzenegger) on his quest for revenge against the warlord-turned-cult leader Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), joined by his friends Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) and Subatai (Mongolian Sonny Bono).

With a huge and bombastic score from Basil Pouledoris, fantastic camerawork, and an unconventional 80s feel, it's definitely worth a watch, even if the pace drags a bit. Luckily, we'll help you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women with our custom cocktail and drinking rules!