https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCgklJ0OfrI&feature=youtu.be

The difference between emotional worry and being concerned about something.

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Transcription

Concern vs Worry.

Hi I'm Brian Pombo, welcome back to Brian J. Pombo Live.

This is a thing that comes up a lot with clients that I've worked with in the past. It's really easy when everything's on your shoulders when you're a business owner or you're the executive of a, of a large company.

The whole world is on your shoulders, right?

The entire business, sometimes people's entire lives, because they depend on it for employment, and the investors and everything else, and it just feels like everything's up on the back end of your shoulders.

Even then, more important than any other time is the ability to become distant, and emotionally distinct, you have to be able to separate yourself, and the circumstances out from what's right and wrong.

The only way to do that is to not worry about what's going on. One of the main reasons I bring this up is because there's this old, this book that came out, I don't know, shoot, it's probably probably close to 25 years ago now, don't sweat the small stuff. And the subtitle is, and it's all small stuff, I think, I think that's the name of it, I never read the book.

But it was an interesting concept to me, as a kid growing up this idea of don't sweat the small stuff and that everything small, it's like, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to me, because

I'm like, well you've got to sweat some things, there's got to be certain things that you you know, stress has has a, there's a necessity, distress. And so if you're talking about sweating something, you got to be able to sweat things otherwise you'd never get anything done.

But then with time I learned that there's a difference. There's a night and day difference, and it's not taught. And we don't talk about it enough.

But the difference between emotionally worrying about something and being thoughtfully concerned about something, see, I can be concerned about my family, I can be concerned about my business, I could be concerned about circumstances. But that doesn't mean I need to get worried about it worries obsessive concern can always be there.

But I don't have to be emotional about it, I don't have to make it about that worry is is a selfish thing. You're making it about you when you're worrying about something you're making it about you if it wasn't about you would be concerned, you see these are the two.

I'm playing with the two definitions to kind of give some some difference to the idea that the words themselves don't matter that much. But the the idea is important.

When you worry about something, you obsess about it, you can't stop thinking about it, you're always thinking about the consequences of something that either has already happened or is going to happen, or is going to happen based on what already happened. And that's what worry is all about. It's all obsessive. It's all personal.

If it wasn't personal, it wouldn't be emotional. But if you can back away from the personal side of it, and just look at it as an issue that needs to be solved somehow, someway, somehow, and you don't necessarily have the answer. And that's okay.

But you got to watch for the answer.

That's the difference between worry and concern,