Chapel Recap: When Conflict Reveals the Heart 

In today’s chapel, Dr. Tim Cochrell, Senior Pastor at Grace Baptist Church in Cedarville, Ohio, opened James 4 to address a reality every believer faces: conflict. Rather than treating conflict as merely a relational problem, Dr. Cochrell reframed it as a spiritual warning sign. “Conflict is the check engine light on the dashboard of our heart,” he said. It alerts us that something deeper is going on beneath the surface that needs attention. 

James begins by asking a direct question: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?” Dr. Cochrell explained that “your passions are at war within you.” Conflict, then, is not just about circumstances or other people; it is an opportunity to examine and repent of the desires that rule our hearts. 

Dr. Cochrell walked through four stages that often characterize sinful conflict. First, “I desire.” Conflict serves as a desire detector, revealing what we value and worship most. “If you deal with conflict,” he said, “you need to start with your heart.” Second, “I demand.” A desire becomes sinful when we are willing to sin to get it — or respond sinfully when we don’t. Third, “I blame.” When our desires are blocked, we judge others harshly, criticizing and condemning them as if we were God and they had rejected our will. Finally, “I punish.” We may go to destructive extremes to fulfill our desires, because, as Dr. Cochrell noted, we always offer sacrifices to what we worship. 

To help us reflect honestly, Dr. Cochrell offered several diagnostic questions: What desires are ruling my heart? How have my sinful responses contributed to this conflict? Am I judging quickly or speaking harshly? Have I excused patterns of punishing others? These questions help move the focus from external blame to internal examination. 

Dr. Cochrell concluded with a Gospel-centered response from James 4:2. “You do not have because you do not ask,” James writes — reminding believers that unmet desires should first drive us to God, not to conflict. The path forward involves repentance, humbly confessing selfish desires; surrender, yielding those desires to God’s will; and delight, finding true satisfaction in our relationship with Him.