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Conflict Styles
What do sharks, owls, teddy bears, turtles, and foxes have to do with conflict?
In this episode, Victoria dives into the fascinating world of conflict management styles using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). With honesty, humour, and a little vulnerability, they uncover how each of them instinctively responds when tension rises.
The Academy Awards are coming up, so you know what this means… DISC as OSCARS nominated films!
High D – One Battle After Another: High stake conflict, intense energy
High I – F1: Fun, thrilling
High S – Hamnet: Familial relationships, emotional depth
High C – The Secret Agent: Layered details, deductive reasoning
Which one do you think will win?
The conversation shifts into something deeper: How do you actually handle disagreement? Do you power through it? Smooth it over? Walk away? Or try to meet in the middle?
You’ll hear:
- A breakdown of all five conflict styles (Competing, Collaborating, Accommodating, Avoiding, Compromising)
- How assertiveness and cooperation shape your reactions
- Real-life reflections on boundaries, people-pleasing, and “Is this a hill I want to die on?”
- Why no style is inherently good or bad — and how awareness gives you options
If conflict drains you, confuses you, or sometimes defines you, this episode will help you recognize your default patterns — and empower you to respond more intentionally next time.
Because understanding your style doesn’t box you in. It gives you leverage.
Episode Timestamps:
00:26 - Welcome and introduction to Discovering You podcast
00:45 - Mood check-in: Yellow (exhilarated) vs Blue (tired)
02:11 - Introduction to conflict management styles and Oscar-nominated films as DISC types
02:57 - Overview of Dr. Ralph Kilman's TKI assessment model
03:37 - Sample assessment questions walkthrough
05:31 - Revealing personal conflict style results
09:09 - Deep dive into the five conflict styles begins
12:00 - Competing style (Shark) - High assertiveness, low cooperation
13:54 - Collaborating style (Owl) - High assertiveness, high cooperation
15:25 - Accommodating style (Teddy Bear) - Low assertiveness, high cooperation
16:57 - Avoiding style (Turtle) - Low assertiveness, low cooperation
20:01 - Compromising style (Fox) - Moderate assertiveness and cooperation
21:29 - Discussion on win-win vs zero-sum mindsets in conflict
22:00 - Key takeaways: Using awareness to choose appropriate conflict styles
22:44 - Closing and credits
If you're interested in learning more about team building, coaching, strategic hiring and onboarding, let's connect!
https://pod.link/1614071253
https://discoverwhatworks.org/
https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaDISC
https://www.instagram.com/discoverwhatworks/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/discoverwhatworks
Mentioned in this episode:
Fast Facts
View all episodes
By Victoria Theriault
5
2323 ratings
What do sharks, owls, teddy bears, turtles, and foxes have to do with conflict?
In this episode, Victoria dives into the fascinating world of conflict management styles using the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). With honesty, humour, and a little vulnerability, they uncover how each of them instinctively responds when tension rises.
The Academy Awards are coming up, so you know what this means… DISC as OSCARS nominated films!
High D – One Battle After Another: High stake conflict, intense energy
High I – F1: Fun, thrilling
High S – Hamnet: Familial relationships, emotional depth
High C – The Secret Agent: Layered details, deductive reasoning
Which one do you think will win?
The conversation shifts into something deeper: How do you actually handle disagreement? Do you power through it? Smooth it over? Walk away? Or try to meet in the middle?
You’ll hear:
- A breakdown of all five conflict styles (Competing, Collaborating, Accommodating, Avoiding, Compromising)
- How assertiveness and cooperation shape your reactions
- Real-life reflections on boundaries, people-pleasing, and “Is this a hill I want to die on?”
- Why no style is inherently good or bad — and how awareness gives you options
If conflict drains you, confuses you, or sometimes defines you, this episode will help you recognize your default patterns — and empower you to respond more intentionally next time.
Because understanding your style doesn’t box you in. It gives you leverage.
Episode Timestamps:
00:26 - Welcome and introduction to Discovering You podcast
00:45 - Mood check-in: Yellow (exhilarated) vs Blue (tired)
02:11 - Introduction to conflict management styles and Oscar-nominated films as DISC types
02:57 - Overview of Dr. Ralph Kilman's TKI assessment model
03:37 - Sample assessment questions walkthrough
05:31 - Revealing personal conflict style results
09:09 - Deep dive into the five conflict styles begins
12:00 - Competing style (Shark) - High assertiveness, low cooperation
13:54 - Collaborating style (Owl) - High assertiveness, high cooperation
15:25 - Accommodating style (Teddy Bear) - Low assertiveness, high cooperation
16:57 - Avoiding style (Turtle) - Low assertiveness, low cooperation
20:01 - Compromising style (Fox) - Moderate assertiveness and cooperation
21:29 - Discussion on win-win vs zero-sum mindsets in conflict
22:00 - Key takeaways: Using awareness to choose appropriate conflict styles
22:44 - Closing and credits
If you're interested in learning more about team building, coaching, strategic hiring and onboarding, let's connect!
https://pod.link/1614071253
https://discoverwhatworks.org/
https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaDISC
https://www.instagram.com/discoverwhatworks/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/discoverwhatworks
Mentioned in this episode:
Fast Facts