Weekly Inspire

Connecting Our Minds to Our Hearts


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Parashat Vayigash tells the dramatic story of Yosef’s revealing his identity to his brothers. In the years after they sold him a slave, Yosef miraculously rose to the position of vizier in Egypt. When the brothers came many years later to purchase grain from Egypt, they would never have imagined that the Egyptian ruler before whom they stood was their brother. Now, Yosef finally told his brothers who he was. After Yosef revealed his identity, the Torah tells, ויפל על צוארי בנימן אחיו ויבך, ובנימן בכה על צואריו – Yosef fell on Binyamin’s neck and cried, and Binyamin cried on Yosef’s neck (45:14). This pasuk seems rather straightforward. Yosef and Binyamin were the only two sons of Rachel, and they thus felt a special bond with one another. This was an exceedingly emotional moment for them, as they were finally reunited, and so naturally, they embraced and wept. Rashi, however, teaches us that they cried for a different reason. Yosef foresaw that the Bet Ha’mikdash , which would, centuries later, be built in the territory of the tribe of Binyamin, would twice be destroyed. And Binyamin foresaw that the Mishkan in the town of Shilo, which is the region of the tribe of Efrayim, one of Yosef’s sons, would be destroyed. This is why they cried. Yosef cried for Binyamin’s “neck” – the Bet Ha’mikdash – and Binyamin cried for Yosef’s “neck” – the Mishkan in Shilo. Rashi’s comments require explanation. Why would Yosef and Binyamin be crying over these future tragedies right now, at this dramatic, emotional moment? And why are the Mishkan and Bet Ha’mikdash symbolized by the neck? Yosef and Binyamin understood that although the brothers have now achieved reconciliation, and the hatred and jealousy of the past had been forgotten, this was not going to be the end of the story, the end of the tragic שנאת חינם (baseless hatred) among our people. Centuries later, Hashem would destroy the Mishkan and the Bet Ha’mikdash because the unfortunate story of Yosef and his brothers would be repeated. Instead of celebrating and rejoicing in other people’s success, we would, sadly, feel jealous and resentful of one another, just as Yosef’s brothers envied and resented him. These feelings of hostility would cause a great deal of pain and devastation, just as it did to Yosef’s family. This is why they cried. The neck marks the point of connection between the head and the heart. It symbolizes the need for the mind to step in and control our emotions. The key to curing the ill of שנאת חינם is the “neck” – exercising reason when we feel angry, embittered or resentful. The way we repair the destruction wrought by שנאת חינם is through the “neck,” by never allowing the heart to be isolated from the mind. We are all human beings, and so we are going to at times, or even often, feel jealous. When we see or hear of somebody going on a luxury vacation that we cannot afford, or buy a car or summer home that we cannot afford, it is only natural to feel jealous. When somebody with older singles hears about his friend’s twenty-year-old daughter getting engaged, it is natural to feel jealous. Other people’s success in areas in which we struggle will make us feel envious and perhaps resentful. We must realize that there is nothing wrong with feeling this way. There is nothing wrong with being human! But our obligation at such times is to put the “neck” into action – to use our minds to control our reactions and the way we handle the situation. And when we think about it rationally, we realize that another person’s success does not really affect us in any way. There is no logical reason why other people’s good fortune should make us feel unhappy or dissatisfied with our lives. And, using our minds, we recognize that Hashem runs the world and gives us all precisely what we need, precisely when we need it. Rationally, there is no reason for jealousy or resentment. The heart is going to feel this way – but when it does, we need to activate the mind to counteract the negative feelings. The ability to do this is truly life-altering. Life becomes so much happier and more enjoyable when we are able to celebrate other people’s successes, when we are able to genuinely rejoice in the good fortune of our peers. If we allow our feelings of envy to fester, then we will never be happy. There will always be people with blessings that we do not have, and if we let this bother us, we will be miserable all the time. One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the ability to be happy for other people’s success, to treat their good fortune as our good fortune. This is how we cure the ill of שנאת חינם , and to live happily and joyously at all times.
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Weekly InspireBy Rabbi Joey Haber

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