This show is all about having messy and sometimes uncomfortable conversations so that we can better understand each other.

This conversation scared me a little bit and challenged some ideas that I had. I think much of my fear of having this conversation stems from potential judgment by listeners.

However, I always leave these scary conversations more enlightened and empathetic for how others choose what works best for their lives.

Adrian Matthews is a relationship expert and therapist specializing in polyamory, open relationships, and consensual non-monogamy. He practices in RI and MASS, focuses mainly on consensual non-monogamous relationships.

Show Highlights:

• What is consensual non-monogamy?
• The relationship escalator explained
• What is constellation therapy and why does Adrian's practice include it?
• Exploring the gray areas that aren't normally talked about in traditional therapy
• Attachment is at the heart of the therapy relationship - a secure base is critical.
• Opening a relationship doesn't make the problems that exist go away.
• Are people who practice consensual non-monogamy more evolved?
• We all have needs in our lives that romantic and sexual relationships can't provide.
• 2 ways consensual non-monogamy looks in today's relationships.
• Why Adrian doesn't use the term ethical non-monogamy.
• Ethical non-monogamy is more aspirational in the therapy setting.
• The definition of polyamory
• What is solo polyamory
• Mono polyamory and when it is appropriate for relationships.
• Laying the relationship foundation for polyamory to work.
• Why Adrian does not guarantee outcomes in therapy.
• The importance of having conversations around consensual non-monogamy.
• 3 assumptions about needs that guide Adrian during therapy.
• Ways consensual non-monogamy can subvert the trappings of traditional patriarchal monogamy.
• Ways men are harmed by patriarchy

Connect with Adrian:

Amatthewscounseling.com

Esther Perel

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