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"Consistency" - Harriet Barnsley
In 2014, at 21 years old, Harriet had just completed her degree and was traveling with her best friend when they were hit by a car traveling 101mph. Her friend was killed on the scene and Harriet woke up one month later in a very different world, one filled with an insurmountable amount of pain and with no idea how to fit back into her old life. She went through a long recovery that left her in a wheel chair, a traumatic brain injury, and a mental breakdown; at one point she actually believed she had died in the crash and she was now in hell.
When you spend your time searching for the meaning of life and trying to better understand how we are "supposed" to live, it is unbelievably insightful to talk to people who have been through experiences like this. The perspective Harriet has on suffering, grieving, mental health, relationships, and many other things is so valuable; because it has all been pressure tested by one of the worst experiences anyone can have.
Interestingly, through all of her experiences, Harriet has come to believe that "consistency" is the most important value. By consistency she meant both the consistency to commit and put in the work to get to the outcomes you want in life, but also consistency in being true to yourself. As we talked about on the show, there are so many examples today of people being inconsistent with their words, beliefs, values, and actions. We say we are worried about safety or justice but we are willing to unfairly hurt others to achieve it. We say we are worried about intolerance or hate, but we are willing to tear other people down to get our way.
Circling this back to Harriet's experience, she explained how being honest and consistent with herself was the most important aspect of her recovery. The world is not always fair, it is not always beautiful, and it is not always kind. Therefore you have to do the work for yourself to figure out who you are, what matters to you, who you want to be in this world, and then stay consistent to it, in spite of everything the world might throw at you.
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By Terry McMullen
5
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In 2014, at 21 years old, Harriet had just completed her degree and was traveling with her best friend when they were hit by a car traveling 101mph. Her friend was killed on the scene and Harriet woke up one month later in a very different world, one filled with an insurmountable amount of pain and with no idea how to fit back into her old life. She went through a long recovery that left her in a wheel chair, a traumatic brain injury, and a mental breakdown; at one point she actually believed she had died in the crash and she was now in hell.
When you spend your time searching for the meaning of life and trying to better understand how we are "supposed" to live, it is unbelievably insightful to talk to people who have been through experiences like this. The perspective Harriet has on suffering, grieving, mental health, relationships, and many other things is so valuable; because it has all been pressure tested by one of the worst experiences anyone can have.
Interestingly, through all of her experiences, Harriet has come to believe that "consistency" is the most important value. By consistency she meant both the consistency to commit and put in the work to get to the outcomes you want in life, but also consistency in being true to yourself. As we talked about on the show, there are so many examples today of people being inconsistent with their words, beliefs, values, and actions. We say we are worried about safety or justice but we are willing to unfairly hurt others to achieve it. We say we are worried about intolerance or hate, but we are willing to tear other people down to get our way.
Circling this back to Harriet's experience, she explained how being honest and consistent with herself was the most important aspect of her recovery. The world is not always fair, it is not always beautiful, and it is not always kind. Therefore you have to do the work for yourself to figure out who you are, what matters to you, who you want to be in this world, and then stay consistent to it, in spite of everything the world might throw at you.