In this week’s episode, Jamie and Guy continue discussing  “The Four Horsemen” by Dr. John Gottman. The Four Horsemen are four negative communication styles that can arise during times of conflict with our partner. They are research proven behaviors that if left unchecked are the best predictors of a relationship failing.  They include Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.  In today’s episode, Jamie and Guy discuss the second two, Contempt and Stonewalling. Contempt shows up when we use verbal (or nonverbal) attacks against our partner that are insulting, condescending or disrespectful in an attempt to put them down.  Stonewalling is when we withdrawal from interacting with our partner while staying physically present.  Both are non-effective ways to communicate when in conflict - but contempt is particularly destructive. Through his studies, Dr. Gottman has found that when contempt begins to overwhelm a relationship, it is the number one predictor of divorce.

Dr. Gottman teaches that conflict is inevitable and a normal, healthy part of all relationships. It's how we deal with conflict that can be problematic. Knowing how to navigate away from these negative communication styles will help ensure long-lasting, healthy relationships.  In addition to defining and sharing their experiences with these two Horsemen, Jamie and Guy also discuss the antidotes to both to help you recognize and repair them when they show up in your relationships.

For additional reading material on this topic, Jamie encourages you to read:
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD

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About  Jamie and Guy:
Jamie Pyatt LCSW  is a mom, avid beach lover, exercise enthusiast, and a licensed clinical therapist with over 20 yrs of experience. She has worked in hospice care, child abuse intervention, and was an adoption facilitator for 13 years. Jamie loves working with individuals, couples, and teens as they embrace their personal stories and surf the daily waves of life. She makes friends wherever she goes and has a laugh that brightens any room. She believes each one of us deserves love, happiness, and connection ❤️Get to know Jamie better @therealjamiepyatt

Guy  Balogh is a father of three, car enthusiast, an entrepreneur and small business owner (shout out to @holsterbrands), and a professional business and life coach. Guy loves working with individuals to think bigger, take risks, and maximize opportunities. His quick wit and talent for storytelling pair well with his desire to find the positive in any situation. Get to know Guy better   @therealcoachguy

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