E49 - Continuing the Porn Conversation with Dr. Cam Staley

We need to have more compassion and understanding in our marriages - for ourselves and for our partner.

There are a lot of things that enter our relationships from our pasts. We need to realize that it is going to take some time to perfect this dance. Sometimes they’re going to step on your toes, and sometimes you will step on theirs. When we do that, let’s try to give each other some feedback and support.

It can quickly turn to blame and anger - ‘you stepped on me and that really hurt!’ Most often there is not malicious intent, yet people still get injured. We get hurt and our expectations get betrayed. There is a lot of emotion and discomfort and fear. It’s here that we need to start from a place of, ‘my partner is probably doing their best even though they aren’t a great dance partner yet. Maybe I’m not a great dance partner yet either! I thought I had all the moves and I don’t. How can we learn how to dance together?’

— Dr. Cameron Staley