Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

Wrapping up our thoughts for our first season, focusing on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions. 

It's been half a year since we sat down to record a new episode, but we have an excuse: COVID-19! Damn you COVID!!!

We have two new kiddos in our care. Dragging them through home-schooling, trying to support their trauma and grief in the midst of a pandemic where we've stayed indoors has been a monstrous challenge, but we're still here (in fact, we went upstate to an Airbnb WITH A POOL!!!! whilst we record this episode).

We also talk about some of the constructive feedback we've received and how we would really love to hear more from Former Foster Youth (FFY) in our next seasons.

Riki mentions some of the Facebook pages and groups primarily run by FFY and that we'd make a note of them here:

Child Centered Parenting in Foster Care and Adoption
Former Foster Children United
Adoption: Facing Realities

And some other podcasts we really enjoyed:
The Foster Parenting Podcast (Tim & Wendy were a HUGE inspiration for us!! They've taken much of their original podcast down now for privacy reasons, but some of their core message is still there, including the reasoning behind the importance of putting your hand up for kids at the beginning of their foster journey, not waiting until parents rights are terminated!)
The Forgotten Podcast
Honestly Adoption
Who Am I Really? 
Foster Care Stories
Adoptee Thoughts

Keep listening to the end of today's episode for some fun outtakes!! ie. Marika (the actor) doing what is known in her industry as "corpsing". 

Enjoy and we look forward to inviting you to our table in Season Two.

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions. 

So far we have spoken to FFY, fellow foster parents and explored different examples of how a transition from one home to another can negatively or positively impact a child in foster care.

Now we indulge a little, turning the focus back to us, and how our own extended family, friends and community coped with the "loss" of our foster daughter ("Kid") moving to live with an extended family member after 14 months in our home.

We chat honestly about some of the fall out, how we handled other people's grief and processing, and what we could have done better.

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions.

This episode is the most important episode of our first season. Because this episode is what a successful transition can look like.

Join Kurt as he sits down with friend and fellow former foster parent, Jennifer, so she can tell the story of how her foster daughter transitioned to extended family with dedicated time and love - and all the adults communicating in order to put the mental and emotional needs of the child first.

This is what this podcast is all about. Thank you Jennifer.

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions. 

John & Brian adopted their daughter through foster care, but not before she underwent several transitions - which resulted in ongoing trauma.

Join us for an interview in which John and Brian detail the massive changes their daughter had to process, and speak frankly about how it has impacted their family, other kids, their marriage, and most importantly their daughter.

We also mention towards the end of the episode, a great TV series we appreciated called "The Day I Picked My Parents". Check that out at https://www.aetv.com/shows/the-day-i-picked-my-parents

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions. 

This episode is one of the reasons we felt the need to make this podcast...
How do you actually transition a child out of your home and into another?
What do you pack?
What do you say?
How can you make this big change for a young person clear, loving and free of trauma?

We don't know for sure... but here's what we did.

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions.

Today we talk to a fellow foster parent - Liz -who has been a foster parent for several children. She's had some very traumatic experiences, but has always fought for the best interests of the kids in her care. She is now an advocate for better transition practices in the foster care system.

Beware: This episode mentions the graphic traumatic experiences of children, which some listeners may find triggering or traumatic.

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions. 

We start our first interview today with the most important person in Foster Care - the kids. Jean is a FFY (former foster youth - she's an adult now) who went into the system at age 9. 

We talk with her about her experience and how it has affected her life. We ask her the most important question of all - How did changing homes impact you? What could the grown ups have done to make transitions easier?

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie


.......................................................................................................................

The paper we mention in this episode called "The Children Were Fine" can be downloaded from their website www.thechildrenwerefine.co.uk

Here's what they say about the studies they've undertaken:

"As child psychotherapists working within a Looked After Children’s team, we became concerned about the ways in which children were being moved from foster care into adoption. In our view this was being done very quickly, and with very little contact between children and their foster carers afterwards.
 
Finding a complete lack of research into this area, we carried out a piece of qualitative research, interviewing foster carers, adopters and social workers to analyse in detail five children’s moves into adoption. We found that the emotional experience of the child, particularly their experience of losing their foster carer, became less prominent in people’s minds during this transition. In what is a highly anxious time for the adults we found that for very understandable reasons they lost sight of what was happening emotionally for the child. 

​​We hope this research will generate some much ­needed debate and further research into children’s moves into adoption, or indeed any move from one carer to another. We believe what is needed is a better integration of theory and practice so that we become more sensitive to children’s experiences during this transition, keeping the emotional experience of the child central in people’s minds."
​

Welcome to Conversations About Foster Care!

Married couple, Marika & Kurt chat about the many perspectives in foster care and the ways we can all do better by our kids

In our first season, we focus on an oft overlooked part of the US Foster Care system - Transitions. 

Transitions for kids between homes in the foster care system. Or, it could be from a foster family back to birth family, or from a foster family to a permanent adoptive family - and all the options in between.

Join our very first episode, in which we introduce ourselves (hello!) and tell you who we are and why we are making a podcast. As non-religious foster parents we saw a space in the foster community for us to have an honest conversation about the trauma kids can experience moving homes - and we want to involve every one in the conversation.

Welcome to the table.

We'd love to hear your feedback by emailing us at [email protected]

Thanks and Enjoy!

Marika (Riki) & Kurt & Maverick the dog
xx

Our podcast features music by Chris Haugen "Tupelo Train"
And graphic design by Kenney Ogilvie