The New Britannia Theater Troupe Presents

Conversations in Paxlair

Written by Womby

Produced and directed by Asclepius

Music supervisor and director of Public Relations Amber Raine

Stage Manager and Technical Director Sir Stile Teckel

Voice Cast

Doctor Shroud as Harry

Lord Baldrith as Fred

Lady Adnor as Citizen 1

Asclepius as Citizen 2

Cordelayne Valkaris as Guard

Sophi as Christine

Jynx as Oracle Agent

Amber Raine as Sarah

And Asclepius as the narrator

Narrator

Every day, the market square in Paxlair is a bustling center of activity. Stallholders stand ready to sell their wares, trying to catch the attention of passersby. However, what seems to be a typical day at the market, with innocent and hard-working merchants, can be something quite different beneath the surface. Let us listen in for a moment to the adventures of three such merchants. Fred and Harry are at their stalls, chatting to each other in between selling priceless treasures to customers. Sarah, at an adjoining stall, is quietly going about her business.

Harry

Fresh fish, get yer fresh fish here. Caught this morning in Spindrift Bay. Look into their eyes and see how fresh they are!

Narrator

A well-dressed lady approaches Harry’s stall and catches his eye.

Harry

You Madam, one glance at your impressive attire tells me that you have exquisite taste. It is so refreshing to encounter a person of such refinement. Only one such as yourself could possibly have a palate sufficiently refined to appreciate the delicate flavours of my exclusive produce. Take these extremely rare Wobbegong fillets, for example. Caught fresh this morning.

Citizen 1

I’m not familiar with the Wobbegong. What breed of fish is that?

Harry

I’m not surprised that you have not heard of it madam, for it is an extremely rare delicacy, and dangerous to capture. This very catch took the lives of two fishermen. Naturally when I heard of this I immediately bought the catch and notified a certain gentleman who lives on a hill not far from here. Professional discretion of course prevents me from revealing his name, but he has a standing order for any items of exceptional rarity and taste that I secure. He will be serving Wobbegong as the main course at his banquet this evening. Fortunately for you I kept four fillets with the intention of surprising my wife. Sadly she was unexpectedly called away to tend to her sick mother. I am therefore prepared to part with them for a mere 500 gold apiece. That is considerably less than I received from a certain gentleman whose name I cannot mention, but you impress me, and I am prepared to let them go at cost.

Citizen 1

Well, I do feel like I deserve something a little special. All right, I’ll take your remaining fillets.

Narrator

As his customer departs, Harry turns to Fred

Fred

Where was I? Oh yes. So anyhow, there I was hiding in the wardrobe hurriedly putting on my pants when Dagnar comes racing up the stairs and bursts into the room, accusing his wife of infidelity. I can hear him noisily searching everywhere while he berates his wife, so I open the wardrobe door and wave to him. While he’s standing there looking half-furious, half-confused, I say, “Ah, thank goodness you’ve arrived. The Oracle has an important job for you.”.

Harry

You certainly like to live dangerously Fred. What happened next?

Fred

Well, fortunately Dagnar’s curiosity overcame his anger, and rather than attacking me he paused, saying “What is the meaning of this? You have five seconds to explain yourself before I turn you into sausage meat.”

Narrator

A man wanders through the market place and pauses in front of Fred’s stall.

Fred