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The Maraschino Matrix (with Cherry Garcia Cookies)

So, I’m sitting in the lab, and Chris walks in. Chris is my co-host, and he always has this look on his face like he’s just figured out a secret about the universe, but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to tell me. He looks at me and says, "Jill. We’re doing Cherry Garcia."

And I’m like... The Ben & Jerry’s flavor? In a cookie? Chris, it’s a liquid. You’re trying to bake a liquid. Are you okay?

But he was serious. He had the apron on. There was no stopping him.

What Actually Happened

• The Bulletin Board of Destiny: Before we even get to the butter, Chris drops some history on me. Apparently, back in the 80s, the whole idea for Cherry Garcia came from a random piece of paper pinned to a bulletin board in a Ben & Jerry’s scoop shop. Just a note on a wall. That’s how history was made before iPhones. You just wrote a thought on a napkin, stuck a sharp piece of metal through it, and suddenly you’re in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame of dairy. I leave notes for my family on the counter all the time. Usually about the trash. No one has turned them into a franchise yet.
• The Tasting: We actually eat the cookies. I take a bite, Chris takes a bite, and there’s this long, heavy pause. It’s that kind of silence where you’re processing so much sugar and nostalgia at the same time that you forget how to speak. They’re good. They’re scary good. It’s like the ice cream, but warm, which shouldn't make sense, but it does.
• The Dr. Frankenstein Twist: But then—because Chris can’t just let us be happy—he decides to explain the science of the maraschino cherry. And guys? It’s dark. It turns out a maraschino cherry is basically a normal cherry that died, went to purgatory, got bleached into a ghost, and was then dyed bright red (or green) so it could pretend to be alive again. It’s a chemical identity crisis. I was eating a zombie fruit.

You’re absolutely going to want to bake these, but you’re also going to need a minute to process what we do to food in the name of science. It’s a lot to take in. It’s a culinary roller coaster.

• Listen to the full episode now. Before Chris explains how they make hot dogs and ruins my childhood completely.
• Subscribe and review: Tell your friends. Tell your enemies. Just don't tell me what's in the cherries anymore.

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