Cougar Diaries: In Command.  Maria and Her Boys: In Command. Jilted wife relives her youth. by mjar65 . Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  I decided I needed to switch to a different gym. It was further from home but I was starting to wonder what Ryan was thinking after our two nights of debauchery. He was more than twenty years my junior and I didn’t need a young man trailing around after me. On the other hand, I was even more certain that “lots of fucking” was exactly what I required. I really didn’t know how to go about it. I was sure I could go out somewhere and let men “pick me up”. But that seemed so sleazy and a little dangerous. I knew about “dating” websites and I decided to try a couple. Well, in the first few days I was overwhelmed with replies and offers. It was too much to manage. I needed to find a way to narrow down my search. I already knew the term “cougar”. I don’t like that term at all and I hate the idea that anyone would think of me that way. It’s a way of “shaming” women who go looking for sex – as if its OK for a man to “sow his seed” but a woman should wait till asked. Looking at the men who had propositioned me online, I decided I wanted someone younger than me - again. It made sense. I’d been excited and validated by Ryan and his desire for me. I didn’t need to be brave, I needed young guys who were so horny for sex they would ignore my age. Or who were so young they could not resist my cleavage! I was going to choose a younger man. Maybe not as young as Ryan this time – that seemed excessive. But I told myself I definitely wanted to avoid men like my husband who were lazy and sated from years of easy, married life. Younger men would be more horny, more eager to enjoy themselves. I wanted intense, passionate sex and I knew I’d be more likely to find that with men who were not in their forties. Why settle for an older, lazy man when I could pick a young guy, full of lust and energy and with a beautiful, hard prick to fill me up? I found a man who called himself Naz – a good looking man who looked Lebanese and has a nice smile. He is aged twenty-six and he boasted about his sexual prowess. That was the real reason I chose Naz - I admit I was attracted to his cockiness and his confidence that he could “give me a good time”. The quality of his technique was less important than having a young man who couldn’t keep his hands off me. I was banking on his passion, his lust for sex with me, being enough to get me off nicely. Naz even sent me a picture of his cock and I smiled at the thought of him eagerly thrusting it into me. Yes, I was well aware that this method of finding my “cure” carried its own dangers. I suspect that the danger actually heightened the thrill. I don’t really know how to describe what I was thinking. Something had come over me. It was several weeks since I’d had a man in my bed and many long months before that. I had needs and I didn’t want to wait. I was prepared for the risk. I was prepared to be disappointed. We had a first chat on-line and I got to see some more of his smile. I could see he was still so young but that only served to make my body stir. I wanted this one and there’d be no guilt about it. As for Naz, his cockiness came through straight away. Some people would have found it a turn-off, but not me. Naz asked me to undress or to show my breasts to him. I already knew that we was lusting after my boobs and that made it easier for me. I was enjoying the raw needs of an immature male. He wanted me badly but the funny thing was that I still felt in control. So I declined his invitation to bare my breasts. Naz was undeterred and stripped off on camera, proudly letting me see his cock. He was half erect, which was the right way to impress me. I did ask him how many girlfriends he had had and he said more than a dozen. But my intuition is pretty good and I am sure he was stretching the truth. Funnily enough, that made me even more keen to have sex with Naz since