By Allison Villa
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66 ratings
The podcast currently has 44 episodes available.
“Let this be your permission to go inwards and listen to the answers that are already within you.”
— Allison Villa
Hello dear friends - some bittersweet news to share…
This will be the final episode of the Couplehood podcast. (I may return once again or re-direct my energy into other projects...we shall see!)
After much reflection, I’ve decided to take a pause on many aspects of my work life.
In this episode, I share why I’ve come to this decision, the passage that inspired me to go inwards, as well as some reflection questions to help you reflect on your own journey.
Over the past 20 months, my work as a psychotherapist has given me great purpose. Supporting my clients through mental health challenges has been a great privilege.
On a personal level, this past year and a half has brought a lot of personal change. Our family moved from Toronto, where we lived for 20 years, and are now living 2 hours north, in the countryside. The home that we’ve been building for the past year, will be ready for us to move into in January. I want to be intentional with finding our flow as a family in this new space.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
Thank you for being on this Couplehood journey with me! Stay in touch by joining my email list - this is the best way to stay in touch, as I won’t be on social media very much moving forward.
This is not a goodbye - it’s “see you soon”!
Big Love,
Allison
“Children have the most beautiful way of both being and doing. They are able to run with the wind. Let them be your greatest teachers and guides along this journey.”
— Allison Villa
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season? [join my email list here]
https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5f984bffa2c7af0014e9a0b7
Work With Me:
https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“The day to day moments are just as meaningful as the date nights you have.”
— Allison Villa
How do we show love every day, when family life is so full-on?
I get this question a lot.
This is why I created the Love.Every.Day. series every Tuesday on Instagram...and now, also on the podcast!
Love.Every.Day tips are simple yet powerful ways to show your love to each other.
If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know how much I advocate showing your kids what a loving relationship looks like, because how you love each other today lives on for generations.
Let’s continue to build an army of parents who are creating honest + sustainable relationships.
These tips are a gentle reminder that on those busy family days, it’s still possible to show your kids what love looks like in action.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
“Children want to feel purposeful and they like having a sense of responsibility, like they are part of the team. So let them.
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:38 Setting an example of love
01:40 Get some sleep
03:00 Be playful
04:03 Create a centerpiece
05:30 Play games
06:28 Meal plan together!
09:40 Recap
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season?
https://quiz.tryinteract.com/#/5f984bffa2c7af0014e9a0b7
Work With Me:
https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“The best measure of your parenting is your child’s happiness.”
— Allison Villa
Have you ever stopped to think about what lessons you have learned in parenthood?
Recently, I’ve celebrated a huge milestone in my life; 10 years of motherhood.
In today’s episode of Couplehood, I took some time to reflect on what I’ve learned in my 10 years of parenting and what I would tell myself 10 years ago when I began my motherhood journey.
As you listen, I encourage you to reflect on your own parenting journey and write down the lessons that you’ve learned along the way.
I find it helpful to find compassion for my younger self, as a new mother, and I hope that you share that grace with yourself as well.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
“Our children are our mirrors and they reflect our own inner-child wounds that may still need healing. Let your children be your guide to keep going inwards and understanding yourself.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
01:36 You can’t get an A in parenting
02:57 Repair ruptures
03:50 Make time for yourself
04:38 Grief and growth
05:10 Make your own choices
05:55 Your children’s childhood is their’s
07:46 Prioritize your couple
08:40 Friendships will change
09:30 Vacation
10:54 Change direction
Links:
Quiz: What's Your Relationship Season?
Work With Me
Follow Me on Instagram
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“A Blessing Way is traditionally when multi-generations come together to celebrate & support the mother-to-be before baby’s arrival.”
— Allison Villa
Today’s episode of the Couplehood podcast is for those of you that are expecting, or have someone in your life that’s expecting. We’re going to cover the difference between a Baby Shower and a Blessing Way.
If you’ve never heard of a Blessing Way - don’t worry - I’m going to fill you in!
I recently hosted a Blessing Way that had a unique twist from the traditional ceremony. This one celebrated both the mother and father-to-be - such a beautiful way to honour and support their couple as they transition into parenthood. A great reminder that you can design a Baby Shower or Blessing Way, in whatever way is right for you, your family, and your community.
In this episode, I provide you with some ideas that you can use in planning your own Blessing Way, and simple touches to personalize it to your needs.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
“In the circle, you are accessing your heritage and the generations that live within you.”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:23 The Couplehood Podcast
01:10 What is a baby shower?
02:27 What is a blessing way?
05:17 Ideas for your blessing way
07:10 Guests
09:30 Affirming words
10:00 Lighting candles
12:47 Recap
Links:
Work With Me:
Follow Me on Instagram
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“I want our kids to see the support we give each other. You can have differences, but still be loving and supportive of each other.”
— Sarah
Today’s episode is part of my limited Sandbox Spotlight series, which features interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences navigating the 4 Relationship Seasons, developing better communication skills, and deepening their connection.
If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the Relationship Seasons, I recommend you check them out first!
My guests for this episode are Sarah and Steve. They have been together for 14 years and have 4 children, ages 9, 7, 4, and 2.
Sarah and Steve are currently in the Coping Season (or Connected Season, depending on who took the quiz!). Over the past year they have had multiple external factors pulling their time and energy, including home renovations, a life-changing bicycle accident, and Steve’s new work as a freelancer, just to name a few.
With so many life events happening all at once, it’s naturally been difficult to carve out the time needed to focus on themselves as a couple. Having awareness around the Relationship Seasons and using the tools they learned through Couple’s Sandbox has helped them remember that seasons ebb and flow and the Coping Season doesn’t last forever.
In our conversation, Sarah and Steve share how they moved past their initial hesitations around joining Sandbox (group calls can seem scary!), and how they now look forward to connecting with the other couples in the community. It has been a source of relatable connection and normalizes the challenges that every couple goes through, plus it prompts meaningful conversation with each other!
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
“You have to be at ease with yourself before you can be at ease with each other.”
— Steve
Highlights:
00:24 The Sandbox Spotlight
01:50 Sarah and Steve
33:00 Gratitude
Links:
Work With Me:
https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“You don’t need to know how it’s going to unfold. You just need to take the first step.”
— Allison Villa
In this episode we are continuing the Couple’s Sandbox Spotlight Series, but for this special episode, I invited my husband Arjan to join me! We share some insight into where our relationship is today.
If you’re a couple that has experienced a significant lifestyle change this year like a move to a new location, switching to homeschooling, or completing a reno, then this episode is for you.
Arjan shares that in the past year we’ve had a lot of external factors that have impacted our relationship, including homeschooling our two daughters, ages 7 and 9, renovating our River House, and the day-to-day struggles which (let’s be honest) often take precedence over our relationship.
These lifestyle shifts take a lot of time and energy, and add greatly to our mental load as a couple. We were both surprised by our results from the Relationship Season quiz. We each took the quiz separately and the results gave us a lot to talk about!
In this interview, Arjan and I talk about some of the challenges we’ve had recently, and how our foundation of self-care, communication, and trust, has helped us move through those challenges together.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How a strong foundation can keep you connected as a couple, even in times of change ● The importance of your relationship within your family unit - remembering that what happens within your couple filters down to your kids
● How self-compassion can bring more patience to everyone in your life
“When you have the foundations of emotional trust and solid communication, you can still feel deeply connected as a couple despite going through hard things. ”
— Allison Villa
Highlights:
00:40 Meet Arjan
02:46 What relationship season are we in?
04:51 The importance of couple time
06:51 Being in limbo
07:30 Connected
10:00 The learning curve
14:44 Practicing words of affirmation
18:10 Letting go of control
19:28 Finding self compassion
20:03 Keeping our vision in mind
22:20 Gratitude
Links:
Work With Me
Follow Me on Instagram
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“I’m all about small steps that have a big impact.”
— Allison
If you’re a couple that’s in the Coping Season, this episode is for you! We’ll be exploring how couples deal with relationship stresses and learn how to communicate more effectively.
This episode is part of my limited Sandbox Spotlight series, which features interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences moving through the 4 Relationship Seasons. It’s honest, raw, and a reminder that we all go through ups and downs!
My guests for this episode are Alina and Mario, who have been together for over 11 years and are raising their 3-year-old daughter.
Alina and Mario were in the Coasting/Connecting Season before COVID, and have been in the Coping Season ever since. The reality of the pandemic has impacted many couples and families, and I’m grateful that Alina & Mario share their experience with such honesty and courage. Joining Couple’s Sandbox has helped them learn to connect through the challenges, and to find compassion for each other along the journey.
In this interview, we talk about how Alina & Mario have been able to keep empathy in their relationship by consistently expressing what they need, and how they feel during the Coping Season.
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How to have empathy during the Coping Season
● The importance of small shifts in nurturing your relationship
● How being open-minded with your partner leads to a shared vision
Note: If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the 4 Relationship Seasons, I recommend you check them out first. This will help you to understand your own season, and also help you to connect more deeply when we refer to the seasons in our podcast conversations.
“It’s just important to take steps, the path will unveil itself along the way”
— Mario
Highlights:
00:35 About Couple’s Sandbox
02:33 Meet Alina and Mario
06:32 Anxiety through Covid
12:51 Our relationship needed TLC
13:37 Excited to join Sandbox
14:42 Light at the end of the tunnel
15:08 Community creates hope
16:12 Small takeaways bring big perspective shifts
17:16 Love languages
19:45 Moving through the seasons
23:03 Gratitude
26:59 Should you join Couple’s Sandbox?
Links:
Join us in Couple’s Sandbox
Work With Me
Follow Me on Instagram
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
“How you love each other today lives on through your children and in generations to come.” — Allison Villa
In this week’s episodes of the Couplehood podcast, we are bringing back the Sandbox Spotlight series, a limited series featuring interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences! In the series, we’re going to talk about their challenges, their joys, and how they successfully navigate The 4 Relationship Seasons.
My guests for this episode are Britt and Nick, who have been together for 6 years and are the parents of a 3-year-old and a 4-month-old.
Britt and Nick came to me through my Couple’s Tune-Up program. After their tune-up, they joined the Couple’s Sandbox community to maintain consistency and keep their relationship a priority.
Learning about The 4 Relationship Seasons helped Britt and Nick’s mindset as they welcomed their second child into the world. They were able to stay one season ahead this time! Now, at four months postpartum, they are leaving the Coasting Season and entering the Connected Season. Britt shares that reintroducing all the exercises they’ve learned in Couple’s Sandbox is what has propelled them forward.
Joining Couple’s Tune-Up and Couple’s Sandbox helped them create a vision together that felt aligned for them both. It also made Britt and Nick feel better prepared this time around (as they welcomed their second child). In this interview, they look back on what they’ve learned, how they use it, and the impact it’s had on their relationship!
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
● How to create your vision as a couple
● Steps to help you bring that vision to life
● A sneak peek into how my Couples Sandbox community works — and how it can fit into your busy schedule!
“I’m all about small steps having a big impact.”
— Allison Villa
Please enjoy this replay episode of number 18!
“Before the pandemic, I was a completely different person.”
— Cecilia
If you’re a couple that’s had a major lifestyle change during the pandemic, this will be a useful episode for you!
This is the second episode of my limited Sandbox Spotlight series, which features interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences moving through the relationship seasons with total honesty.
If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the relationship seasons, I recommend you check them out first!
In this series, we explore how couples deal with relationship stresses and learn how to communicate more effectively.
My guests for this episode are Cecilia and Joey, who have been together for over 8 years and are raising three children between the ages of four and eight.
Cecilia and Joey were in the Coping season when they first joined Couple’s Sandbox a few months ago. Now, the pair are enjoying the Connected season, and on the verge of Confident.
In this interview, we talk about how the couple have kept their focus on their relationship through major lifestyle changes and overcoming bad habits… and have come out stronger than ever!
I would love to have you join us in the Couple’s Sandbox — the cart will be open from May 4 to May 9, 2021 and you can find the link below!
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
“You can see the kids are happier, because they see that we’re happier.”
— Joey
Highlights:
Links:
Join us in the Couple’s Sandbox. The cart is open from May 4 to May 9, 2021.
https://www.allisonvilla.com/couples-sandbox
Work With Me:
https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
Please enjoy this replay of episode 17!
“It’s not easy to parent if you’re not on the same wavelength.”
— Jake
Welcome to the first episode of the Sandbox Spotlight series, a limited series featuring interviews with real-life couples talking about their real-life experiences! In the series, we’re going to talk about their challenges, their joys, and how they successfully navigate the four relationship seasons.
If you haven’t listened to my episodes on the relationship seasons, I recommend you check them out first!
My guests for this episode are Mel and Jake, founding members of my online community the Couples Sandbox. Mel and Jake have been together for 17 years and are the parents of two toddlers.
Mel and Jake came to me for couples counselling when they were in the Coping season — they were relieved to learn that the Coping season was temporary and to learn tools and strategize to manage the issues that came up during that season.
Learning about the relationship seasons helped Mel and Jake understand the ways that external factors impact their relationship and how they can work together as a team to manage them with kindness and empathy.
Joining Couple’s Tune-Up and Couple’s Sandbox helped them move from the Coping season to the Coasting season and then into the Connected season. In this interview, they look back on what they’ve learned, how they use it, and the impact it’s had on their relationship!
In this episode of Couplehood, you’ll discover:
“I feel like we’re closer than we’ve ever been, in many ways.”
— Mel
Highlights:
00:29 The Sandbox Spotlight
01:27 The Couples Sandbox community
03:54 Meet Mel & Jake
05:17 The journey to the Connected season
07:37 Reassurance & progress
08:45 Working as a team with kindness
09:59 Learning from other couples
13:02 The impact of connection on the family unit
15:14 Visions for the future
16:04 How they found Couple’s Tune-Up
20:01 ‘Marriage school’
21:15 Gratitude
Links:
Join us in the Couple’s Sandbox. The cart is open from May 4 to May 9, 2021.
https://www.allisonvilla.com/couples-sandbox
Work With Me:
https://www.allisonvilla.com
Follow Me on Instagram:
https://instagram.com/allison__villa
Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review!
The podcast currently has 44 episodes available.