Healing is not complicated but it can be difficult.

In this episode I review the stages of grief (shock, bargaining, anger, sadness and resolution) and look at some ways we get stuck and how to get unstuck.

The key, as always, is to be kind and compassionate to yourself and to be curious how to understand what you are feeling and how to bring compassionate energy to whatever feelings you have.

Many of us were taught that we should not be sad or angry and that we should just "get over it" or "suck it up". While well intentioned, these messages actualy slow down the healing process. When we can learn to be ok to feel whatever we feel, give ourselves permission and space to feel our feelings (something many of us did not get as children) we can move through the healing process with less pain.

Of course it will be hard to heal no matter what we do but there are ways to make it a bit less hard: being kind to self by giving yourself space and time to regularly feel and validate your feelings, taking care of your body (getting enough food, water and sleep), seeking help from a friend, therapist and/or support group and basically realizing the more we do to avoid pain now, the more pain we will experience later.

In the case of severe loss (Covenant) we can only process a bit at a time and it will take a long time to feel anything like a normal functioning human being but being ok with the fact it will take a long time and will be hard will make it a bit less hard and a bit less long.

May God grant you peace and strength as you work through your healing in whatever kind compassionate curious way works best for you.

For questions or comments, feel free to email me at [email protected].

For more information on parts therapy and healing in general, see my book on amazon, From Crisis to Calm.

Blessings,

Alan Pennington

The Curious Counselor