Create Belonging

Title: 16: Peter Block – Community: The Structure of Belonging (Part 2)

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Peter Block, author of Community: The Structure of Belonging. Where Part 1 laid out the framework, Part 2 took a turn I didn't expect. It got personal. We go deeper into leadership, dissent, curiosity, and eventually into the riskiest of the six conversations: gifts. Somewhere in the middle, I named my own gift out loud for the first time, and I can honestly say I'm not the same person I was when we started. If you haven't heard Part 1 yet, I'd start there, but if you want to jump in here, I'll catch you up.

Peter Block is an author, a citizen of Cincinnati, Ohio, and co-founder of Designed Learning. Full bio and headshot at peterblock.com/media-kit.

His books include Flawless Consulting, Stewardship, The Answer to How Is Yes, The Abundant Community, Activating the Common Good, and the book that brought him to this podcast: Community: The Structure of Belonging, now in its third edition.

• Bosses, yes. Worship, no. A leader sets the rails; peers create the world
• The Leadership Industrial Complex: when we wait for a leader to save us, it lets us off the hook
• Curiosity is the breath of relationships, and the delivery system of well-being
• "If you can't say no, your yes means nothing" - dissent is what makes belonging real
• Naming your gifts is the riskiest conversation: once you name them, you have to do something with them
• "When you say it out loud, it changes your relationship to it"
• Break a group into threes and people realize "I'm not alone"
• In the absence of connection and belonging, we get violence, now normalized

00:05 Cold open - Peter on violence and the absence of connection

00:27 Welcome back; a recap of Part 1

02:10 Why Part 2 goes deeper; a note on the book

03:40 Interview resumes - the trouble with leadership

05:36 Peter on bosses, hierarchy, and "it lets me off the hook"

06:45 Mateo's breakdown: The Leadership Industrial Complex

08:59 Peers create the world; why Peter wants to stop the worship

13:52 Curiosity as the breath of relationships

14:33 Mateo's breakdown: Unpacking curiosity

16:55 Dissent, a camp story, and "if you can't say no, your yes means nothing"

18:01 Mateo's breakdown: The six conversations of community

19:30 Why gifts is the riskiest conversation of all

20:10 Peter on why naming your gifts is terrifying

22:34 Mateo names his gift out loud

24:44 Mateo's breakdown: What is your gift?

27:28 Saying it out loud changes your relationship to it

28:38 Why Mateo spent years brushing his gift aside

30:03 Groups of three, and the relief of "I'm not alone"

31:46 Gifts from the margin to the center

33:43 Mateo thanks Peter; why being a bystander isn't an option

34:29 In the absence of belonging, we have violence

36:26 Closing reflections - community as the structure of belonging

Community: The Structure of Belonging (3rd Ed): penguinrandomhouse.com/books/815995/community-third-edition-by-peter-block/ Peter Block's Substack: substack.com/@peterblock Designed Learning: designedlearning.com Peter Block on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/peter-block-238848a/ Designed Learning on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/designed-learning/

Instagram: instagram.com/createbelonging

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/create-belonging

Email: [email protected]

This is the second of a two-part conversation. If it moved you, share it with someone thinking about how to build something real in their corner of the world. And as always - go create belonging for yourself and for others.

Acknowledgments: Music "Playing with Color" by Nullhertz via Pixabay. Thank you to the lovely people at Purple Space for your support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I sat down with Peter Block, one of the most original thinkers on community and civic life working today, and what came out was a conversation so rich I had to split it into two parts. In part one, Peter shares how he went from being a self-described wanderer to becoming a rooted citizen of Cincinnati, and why he believes that belonging isn't something we find inside ourselves alone. It emerges through how we gather, the questions we ask, and the structures we create together.

Peter Block is an author, a citizen of Cincinnati, Ohio, and co-founder of Designed Learning, a training company that offers workshops and learning experiences built around the ideas in his books. He's part of the Common Good Alliance of Greater Cincinnati and was a member of his local neighborhood council. You can find his full bio and headshot at peterblock.com/media-kit.

His books include Flawless Consulting, Stewardship, The Answer to How Is Yes, The Abundant Community, Activating the Common Good, and the book that brought him to this podcast: Community: The Structure of Belonging, now in its third edition.

• Peter's personal journey from wandering to choosing rootedness and citizenship
• Why inner work alone isn't enough, and why community is where belonging actually emerges
• How the form of a gathering shapes whether connection happens or not
• The critique of inherited structures like Robert's Rules of Order and forward-facing rooms
• Designing gatherings where people become agents of their own experience
• Why questions unite us and answers divide us
• Peter's surprising claim: the opposite of love isn't hate - it's certainty

• Community is where belonging emerges - not through prescription, but through the conversations and structures we choose
• Inner work and community work aren't either/or - Peter argues we need a group to do our inner work, and anyone who claims victory on self-work "isn't paying attention"
• All transformation is linguistic - the conversations we design change us and change the world
• The small group is the unit of transformation - breaking people into groups of two or three shifts them from passive audience to active agents
• "If you argue with me, I'm taking your side" - Peter's approach to resistance: instead of convincing skeptics, agree with them and let them reckon with themselves
• Questions bring us together, answers keep us apart - when someone gives an answer, the room splits into agree and disagree; a shared question draws people closer
• The opposite of love isn't hate, it's certainty - one of Peter's most provocative reframes, and a thread worth sitting with

• Community: The Structure of Belonging (Third Edition) by Peter Block
• The Abundant Community: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods by Peter Block & John McKnight
• Flawless Consulting by Peter Block
• Activating the Common Good by Peter Block
• Peter Block's Substack - Peter's latest thinking and writing
• Designed Learning - learning experiences designed around Peter's work
• Peter Block on LinkedIn
• Designed Learning on LinkedIn

• Instagram: instagram.com/createbelonging
• LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/create-belonging
• Email: [email protected]

Stay tuned for Part Two, where Peter and I go deeper into the practical side - how these ideas about structure, questions, and agency show up in everyday community life. If this episode sparked something for you, please share it with someone who's also wondering about belonging in this world. 

Acknowledgments: Music "Playing with Color" by Nullhertz, obtained royalty-free from Pixabay. Thank you to the lovely people at Purple Space for your support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Belonging is one of those catch-all terms that everyone talks about, but we're often describing completely different experiences. On this episode, Mateo explores a framework that breaks belonging into three distinct dimensions - not as a prescription to follow, but as a compass for understanding the different ways we can experience connection.

• The three dimensions of belonging: Self, Others, and Universal
• Why most conversations about belonging get stuck focusing on just one dimension
• How belonging with yourself creates space for more authentic relationships
• The science behind our innate connection to nature and something larger than ourselves
• Why exclusion registers in our brains the same way physical pain does
• How to use these dimensions as pathways when you're feeling disconnected
• The Venn diagram approach: mapping the seven different states of belonging

• Brené Brown's True Belonging and what it means to stand alone in the wilderness
• The biophilia hypothesis and why we're wired for nature connection
• Ubuntu philosophy: "I am because we are"
• How authenticity and social connection can sometimes work against each other
• Why these dimensions aren't hierarchical - just different landscapes to explore

Resources: Mateo has created a free Venn Diagram PDF mapping out all seven belonging states, complete with research notes and book recommendations. Reach out at [email protected] or connect on LinkedIn to get your copy.

This isn't about optimizing your belonging or checking boxes. It's about recognizing the different pathways that are always available and learning to trust your own internal compass.

Enjoying these conversations? Please subscribe, rate, and review wherever you're listening - it helps more people discover these explorations of belonging and connection. Thank you for being part of this community and for doing the work of creating belonging for yourself and others.

Music “Playing with Color” by Nullhertz obtained royalty-free from Pixabay

Thank you to the lovely people at Purple Space for your support

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Thank you for listening! 

I would love your Feedback: Please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know what you thought of the episode. 

You can also follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createbelonging/ or on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/create-belonging

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After nearly two years away, I'm back!

This is a short update on where I've been. I stepped away to work on my mental health, handle professional commitments, and wrestle with procrastination and imposter syndrome.

During this time, I've learned that sometimes stepping back is necessary, and that belonging to yourself comes first. I've also been thinking about what Create Belonging can offer in a world where anyone can start a podcast and AI generates content instantly.

I'm returning not with a polished plan, but with curiosity and the same commitment to exploring what it means to truly belong. The format might evolve, but the core mission remains: creating space for authentic conversations about belonging.

Ready to continue this conversation about belonging? Subscribe to Create Belonging wherever you listen to podcasts, and join a community committed to exploring what it truly means to belong in this world.

Music “Playing with Color” by Nullhertz obtained royalty-free from Pixabay

Thank you to the lovely people at Purple Space for your support

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Thank you for listening! 

I would love your Feedback: Please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know what you thought of the episode. 

You can also follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createbelonging/ or on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/create-belonging

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For Episode 12 of Create Belonging - we explore CREATIVITY and FACILITATION with Jenny Theolin. 

Did you know that creativity is one of the keys to finding your belonging?

Creativity is about taking what we know, what we imagine, and what surrounds us and making something significant, something that may not have existed otherwise. 

We all have the potential to be creative and, in many ways, creativity is something that is deeply human and something that requires action and courage. If we are trying to discover our belonging or if we are trying to help others belong, then creativity is one of the necessary skills that one will need. 

And when it comes to understanding how creativity can be used for belonging, I knew I wanted to speak to Jenny Theolin. 

Jenny Theolin is a renowned expert who helps people learn more effectively. Calling upon her wealth of experience from around the world and background in design, she creates effective, engaging, and memorable learning experiences for organisations, schools, and non-profits.

Jenny grew up as a world citizen, where she developed a high cultural intelligence and understanding of the humanity that connects us all. 

This conversation explores the power of facilitation and how this skill is often overlooked. Jenny’s latest book is “Dare to Facilitate” a collaboration with expert facilitators sharing their insights on how to properly embrace facilitation as the skill that helps individuals and companies collaborate better and tap into people’s true potential. 

This was a very FUN, insightful, and generous conversation with a creative human who creates belonging in all her projects. 

I was inspired by this conversation, and I hope you too will be inspired. 

Resources to continue exploring:

• Jenny’s personal website, Instagram, X, LinkedIn
• Studio Theolin’s website
• Her New Book “DARE TO FACILITATE” book website
• Download: “How to be an Alien” by George Mikes (1946) inspired one of Jenny’s previous art show called “Alienation”. You can download the full book in PDF here. 
• Elizabeth Gilbert on Distinguishing Between Hobbies, Jobs, Careers, & Vocation from Acumen Academy Youtube

Support Create Belonging:

• Subscribe on iTunes or Spotify.
• Get in touch and Please send us your feedback: www.createbelonging.com/contact
• Share this episode with a friend!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pia Lauritzen, Ph.D. is a philosopher whose body of work revolves around uncovering the nature of questions and why they may just be more powerful than one may think.

Indeed, questions are everywhere, and yet few of us know just how powerful they can be in changing our world. 

Pia is also someone who believes all questions are valid, and that we shouldn’t put too much emphasis on asking questions for the sake of getting answers - rather, we should just look into what the question is trying to tell us. 

This was a jam-packed, condensed conversation with a wonderful, insightful, and thoughtful human. I hope you enjoy this episode, and please don’t forget to connect with Pia Lauritzen on LinkedIn, and check out her upcoming book published with John Hopkin’s University Press. 

• Pia's LinkedIn
• Pia’s book published on John Hopkins University Press: Question: A Brief Book about Big Ideas
• Pia’s Blog: Pia’s Questions
• Pia’s free tool for education and educators: Question Jam
• Pia’s consulting tool for companies to tap into the power of questions: qvest.io 

• Subscribe on iTunes or Spotify.
• Get in touch and Please send us your feedback: www.createbelonging.com/contact
• Share this episode with a friend!

Acknowledgments:

Music “Playing with Color” by Nullhertz obtained royalty-free from Pixabay

Thank you to the lovely people at Purple Space for your support

——————————-

Thank you for listening! 

I would love your Feedback: Please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know what you thought of the episode. 

You can also follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createbelonging/ or on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/create-belonging

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Episode 10 of Create Belonging.

I sit down and talk with the amazing Lola Akinmade about her life, work, books, and her views on Belonging in a world that tries to put you in a box.

I loved this conversation and I hope you do too.

• From Programmer to Photographer: Lola’s incredible range of experience
• Lola’s concept of home: “A Space where I can exist without explanation” where one is celebrated for just “existing”, without judgment. 
• Why she doesn’t believe in first impressions. She tried not to judge anyone until after 10 minutes. Instead, we should look for depth in people. 
• How the Swedish concept of Lagom works as a personal value but fails as a societal rule. 
• We discuss the importance of being a role model
• Tokenism - how it can be done right, and when should we call companies out? 
• The responsibility of opening the doors for others. 

• Lola's Homepage and Blog.
• Lola’s Tedx Talk
• Lola follows the examples of some very prominent Nigerian Authors: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chimamanda_Ngozi_Adichie 
• Lola’s Slate Article on Lagom: “Why are Swedes so Quiet”
• Book: Lagom: The Swedish Secret of Living Well - the book that was published in 18 different languages, except in Swedish! 
• Trevor Noah’s final thoughts and highlighting the importance of honoring black women
• Book: In every Mirror She’s Black and Sequel Everything is not enough

• Subscribe on iTunes or Spotify.
• Get in touch and Please send us your feedback: www.createbelonging.com/contact
• Share this episode with a friend!

Acknowledgments:

Music “Playing with Color” by Nullhertz obtained royalty-free from Pixabay

Thank you to the lovely people at Purple Space for your support

——————————-

Thank you for listening! 

I would love your Feedback: Please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know what you thought of the episode. 

You can also follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createbelonging/ or on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/create-belonging 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome once again to Part 2 of my conversation with writer and meditation teacher Sebene Selassie. While part 1 was all about how we belong first and foremost to ourselves, this second part is about belonging with others.  

We start the conversation by talking about the illusion of power dynamics in society. Sebene flips the script that society is a struggle towards the middle where there is access to resources and power. She does that by reminding us that those in the margin - have a richness of perspective and access to fluidity and other ways of belonging that those in the middle might not. 

This part two of the conversation was a lot more personal and open, and one where I really got to express my deep gratitude for Sebene’s contribution to our understanding of Belonging. 

• Get into Power dynamics - and how we have the idea that society is structured in concentric circles where the Powerful stand in the middle, holding onto power and status. While those in the margin have a richness of perspective and a more holistic view based on a deeper knowledge of understanding. 
• Context Switching - Fluency vs Semeiotic Vigilance - and why this can lead many of us to fatigue of belonging. And how Affinity Groups can offer minorities some respite from constantly being “Vigilant and monitoring” whether we belong or fit in. 
• We look into the efficiency of Affinity groups - like female only, on black only groups. And how they create the space for much of the “work” that can be done so that the conversations and the network can be explored in a more profound and direct way.
• She answers the questions about her vision of the future with “how she would like to feel in that future”, and gives us some clues on the type of world we should all be striving towards. 
• And much more…

The ideas and media related to this episode

• Wikipedia on “From Margin to Center” - by Bell Hooks
• Sebene’s book You Belong: A Call for Connection
• Subscribe to Sebene’s newsletter
• Follow Sebene on Instagram

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Part 1 of the long-awaited interview with writer and meditation teacher Sebene Selassie. We introduce her book “You Belong - A Call for Connection”  and her motivations for writing it. We discuss the fundamental fact of belonging and the paradox of belonging.

We later go on to look at the way that the world seems to be suffering from a “Delusion of separation” and how the way to wake up from that reality is to look inwards. 

This was a very rich, insightful, and enlightening conversation about belonging with one of the world’s leading thinkers on the matter. 

• How her book is not a map to belonging, but rather a “map key” where each one of us is expected to make our own maps. 
• The Paradox of two truths: Even though we are not separate, we are not the same
• The delusion of separation: forgetting that we are all interconnected and part of the same reality
• We touch on some of the systemic issues that have led us to forget the fundamental truth of belonging
• ‘Mana’ the comparative mind and how it keeps ups in the delusion of separation
• Why we must start with grounding ourselves BEFORE we can begin to know ourselves
• How cultivating “embodied awareness” can help us find our way back to belonging
• And much more…

The ideas and media related to this episode:

• Hurry Slowly interview with Sebene on the Delusion of Separation
• Sebene’s book You Belong: A Call for Connection
• Subscribe to Sebene’s newsletter
• Follow Sebene on Instagram

Music by Ergy, aka Hugues Coudurier, Facebook

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Thank you for listening! 

I would love your Feedback: Please send me an email at [email protected] and let me know what you thought of the episode. 

You can also follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createbelonging/ or on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/create-belonging 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Part 2 of our conversation with  Kristín Grímsdóttir . This is the follow-up episode where the conversation starts exploring the topic of Authenticity. Naturally, this conversation offers a very personal look at Kristín’s own story with authenticity. She offers some practical insights on how she experiences authenticity with herself and with others. 

We are extremely grateful for Kristín’s vulnerability in talking about her journey to find her belonging. 

In this Episode one we cover the following topics:

• Kristín’s path to authenticity, starting from a small fishing village in Iceland 
• The early days of living up to external expectations were the antithesis of living authentically
• How this one TED talk changed her forever
• Her 12-year journey of living from vulnerability to authenticity
• The slow, tough, and uncomfortable journey of living in vulnerability
• Trusting the process, and taking risks in big life decisions - following the feeling
• How to identify authenticity in others - “It’s a feeling in your body” 
• Helping others discover their values and live more authentic lives
• Her approach to helping her children discover and live in accordance with their values
• Understanding your values and your energy has an effect on other people
• How living authentically can help one take responsibility for one’s actions
• What Create Belonging means to Kristín

If you haven't already, I highly recommend giving this episode a listen to gain valuable insights into living a more authentic life. Tune in now to Create Belonging, available on your favorite podcast platforms.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.