Tracey Dawn is an Intuitive Counselor and writer. She is passionate about guiding others in building a relationship with their inner self. She provides intuitive readings, online courses, meditations and blog posts to inspire you to live your best life. Through inner work, Tracey believes everyone has the capacity to develop their intuition, harness their personal power and discover their innate sense of happiness.

Tracey and I talk about tapping into the power of being calm, and creating communities around the concept of happiness.

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Tracey:

I started studying psychology in high school and then followed it into university, got my degree there. Thought that's what I wanted to do was become a psychologist. But as I studied psychology in university, I just felt it wasn't for me. I wanted to do something more proactive and more pro-mental health, pro-wellness, rather than reactive.

Yeah, so I always knew that I was some sort of psychic or intuitive when I was a kid, and then growing up into being a teenager in my 20s, I was also a really strong empath, and that started to negatively affect me, because I didn't realize that I was an empath and didn't realize kind of what was happening to me as I was absorbing others emotions and problems and I started to wear it on my skin and it started to show as physical ailments on my skin and in my life.

So that was the big learning experience that I didn't really know what was happening at the time.

And then in my 20s, went to my local spiritual centre and took a set of meditation classes. That was really life changing for me because I learned how to meditate and learned how to set grounding, and how to create healthy, energetic boundaries. To really own my own energy and then have that healthy safe boundary from others and other harmful energies.

That was a really big turning point for me. I knew how to move forward and own my space. And then from that point on, I saw it as such a gift to be an empath.

And then I wanted to use my psychology from there and combine it with being an intuitive. And just learn to help people in that type of way.

Slade:

How did you recognize that you had gifts as an intuitive? What were some of the things that alerted you to having psychic abilities?

Tracey:

Yeah, it started when I was a kid. I used to hear things people were gonna say before they said it. The phone would ring and I would know who's calling before I picked up the phone. Of course, that was before Caller ID, which takes the fun out of it now. And then, I...

A big turning point for me, actually, was in my 20s. My dad passed away from a terminally ill... He was terminally ill and had a neurodegenerative disease and that was a very heart-wrenching process to go through that with him. But when he passed away, he stayed with me in spirit. And he came back to visit me and be with me for quite a long time.

I didn't really know what was happening. I could hear him laughing. I could hear him speaking to me the day after he passed away and I thought, Oh no, I'm losing my marbles here.

You know, this isn't good! As a psychology graduate, I thought, Oh no, I'm hearing voices. I'm gonna have to go to the psych ward and get assessed for that because when you hear voices and you're a psychology graduate, you know that's not a good thing.

So I was too afraid to tell anyone. I don't feel that anyone in my family is inclined towards that intuitive psychic lifestyle. So I just felt very alone and afraid to tell anyone. Afraid that I had really gone over the deep end in my grief.

As time progressed, yeah, it was hard. Time progressed and I still would hear him talking to me and it became so real. I knew it was real.

And so, on my own, I started to research, you know, what's happening. I went to the library and started reading all these books and then went online and was like, looking online trying to just find some support with other people that had had this type of experience.

I began communicating with my dad on a regular basis. As I did that, and became more and more aware of his presence around me, I also became more and more aware that there was a load of spirits around me. It wasn't just my dad. It was a whole crowd.

And I can remember that exact moment, opening my awareness to that and just being like, Ohmygosh so there's my dad but who are all these other beings around me? And I could feel how ecstatic and happy those beings were around me, that I was finally aware of their presence.

Slade:

Yeah!

Tracey:

So that was a pivotal moment for me. It was really exciting.

So again, I started, still not telling anyone, reading books and going online and I came across the term 'Spirit Guide', which I never heard before. Of course I've heard of angels, you know, in the past, but I thought angels were this kind of cherub-looking, very religious figure and I didn't think I believed in them, but all of a sudden, I'm surrounded by spirit guides and angels, so...

Anyways, I get on the computer. I'm trying to find, you know, look into spirit guides and what does that mean... came across your website, actually!

Slade:

Yay! It worked.

Tracey:

Yeah, that was about four years ago now and yeah... I was really really happy to find your site. It gave me so many answers of what the heck was happening to me. This is real and this is a good thing. It's actually a gift. It's nothing to hide or be ashamed or embarrassed about.

It's a gift and how to use that gift.

Slade:

That's such a cool... you know, that's such a cool moment for me to actually kind of shine a light on for a second. Because as you were telling that story about that moment that you became aware that, Oh wait a minute - there's a lot of something around me. You know, it's not just this one connection with my dad but there's actually some other kinds of spirits around me and they're ecstatic that I've noticed them.

When you were saying that, I flashed back to that moment for me, just for an instant, I was back in time and I remember that moment, that idea that, they were like, Oh yay! He can finally see that we're here, kind of thing. And how expectant they were for that to happen. So that took me back for a second and then I remember, everything that you've said about psychology and studying sort of the more clinical, academic route.

I had all of that conflict in myself as well. How can I be both these things? How can I be somebody who studies this and even takes it seriously, but also, I'm talking to people that aren't here. My whole impulse to put that out into the world was really... I think that at the time that I did it, I did it for myself, never thinking that anyone else would really run across it.

So to be here all this time later and to hear that you came along and found that, and that, there was so much comfort to be found in someone else saying, Yeah, this is happening to me too but I've decided it's okay. You know what I mean?

So I kind of want to say to everyone out there, who has whatever that is that they're hiding from everyone else that they think they're going to be judged over, I think sometimes you really do have to just be the person who's willing to raise your hand first so that other people can coalesce around you or whatever.

And that, if that's where you are in this moment, whatever it's about, just know that there's someone like what you're saying, who's gonna come along and see that and immediately be mired in it and connect with you.

It's the fastest way to not be alone in whatever it is that you're experiencing. Does that make sense?

Tracey:

Yeah, definitely. It's a big reason why I'm doing this - to help other people who are in that state, and let them know they're not alone. And help them to see that it's a gift.

Slade:

Yeah you talked about the empath thing. About how being an empath, and absorbing toxic energy, started to manifest as illness for you. I hear a lot of people talking about being an empath in a way that's almost like a victimhood kind of thing. I get it.

I'm not saying that if you feel victimized by that, or overwhelmed by that, if you're in a state in your life where you're like, Ohmygod, I just feel like I'm being bombarded, I get it. I think that's a natural progression of awareness in that area.

But what was it, really, that allowed you to stop feeling victimized by that and to feel more empowered by it?

Tracey:

It's definitely being aware of my own energy and what my energy feels like. So that I can then be aware when someone else's energy is in my space. And then having a daily routine of grounding myself, setting up my boundaries, doing what I need to take care of me, for the day, so that I go out into my life...

Because we tend to avoid people if you're an empath. I think a lot of empaths like to stay at home and are introverts. It's just easier that way. But you can't stay home all the time. YOu know, you gotta go to the grocery store, sometimes you have to go to the airport where it's really busy. Being on an airplane can be tough.

So you need to have those tools to go out into the world so that you can handle it appropriately. And in that way too, you can build on those gifts because it IS a gift. Once you can harness it, you can start to move forward and grow with it and use it and be grateful that you have it.

Slade:

Well, you and I were speaking right before we started recording about the climate in the world at large right now. We're speaking in July 2018, for those who are listening from the future. It's just really a disgruntled energy is the way that I described it to you, that I was absorbing. And I thought it was so timely because we set up this scheduled meeting so far in advance, not really knowing the week that I would've had, going into this conversation with you.

I love how things work out in a meaningful way time-wise, because you are someone that, your energy is very calm. It's something that I've always noticed about you. It's a way that you're very different from me. You have a stillness about you in your voice and it's very attractive and safe.

It's one of the reasons why I wanted to have you come on and have you talk about the work that you do. Because you do, sort of, represent something that I instinctively felt like we needed to hear and to think about.

So I was really drawn to this blog post that you wrote called 'Why Being Calm is a Superpower'. I struggle not to react to things in passion and anger. I'm always trying to dial myself down.

So tell me about this concept of being a calm superhero. Give me some advice.

Tracey:

Well I think everyone struggles with not reacting. Because I think that's the quickest and most natural way to react. It's a lot of what's happening around us, especially right now as you mentioned. It's just a really turbulent, chaotic time in our world unfortunately. It's really hard to watch the news and be aware of what's going on in the world.

So to be a calm superpower, it came to me. Superhero movies are everywhere right now. I don't know how many they made but they're just everywhere. And they're all so powerful and fast and strong and this and that, but what about being calm? I do believe that is a superpower. I think it's actually more difficult in such stressful times than to react.

So it does lean on a lot of meditation principles. But it's basically having that peaceful centre. So not immediately reacting to what's happening around you. It's choosing your reaction. So creating space between something that's happened and your reaction. Creating space in there, deliberately choosing how you want to react rather than instantly flying off the handle and reacting.

Because those reactions, they can also be physical reactions that you feel in your own body, right? So not only might you be putting out harmful energy into the world - you might also be harming your own body if you have high blood pressure, you've got a knot in your stomach, you clench your fists, you're sweating. The typical road rage. You picture someone on the crazy freeways that I visited a couple months ago in California. You've got that crazy road rage. That could also be harming your own body.

Slade:

Yeah. You know, it's interesting that you mention right there, I think that that's actually... I've gotten much better, you know, than I was, say, in my 20s. I'm almost a completely different person in my ability to not react immediately and to take my time and really process my thoughts.

For anyone who struggles with firing off a text or whatever it is, one of the things that I do is, I write it in a separate application first. I rehearse and edit. Anything that I send that I feel like might be provocative or... I'm just very, very careful. Go through and look for warning signs of, don't use 'always', don't use 'never', talk about your feelings as opposed to accusing the person of their actions and all this kind of basic 'don't blow people up' kind of tools that we...

They're pretty popular! Most of us have heard these lectures before.

Even still, one of the things that I noticed when I have one of those interactions where I'm like, Okay, I've got to respond to this but I need to do it in a way that's not gonna escalate and all that good stuff.

I had one of those happen recently with a family member and the thing that I noticed and immediately was so regretful of is how it made me feel, physically, for the rest of the day. You know what I mean? I was like, That really sucked. It was not worth it. To have that interaction at all.

I used to be able to go in and out of that energy and sort of blow it off and fling it away. You brought such a good point up about the fact that when you do that, you're actually sort o