crumbs from His table fellowship podcast

A peek into our time capsule…

The sparsely adorned walls, uncomfortable chairs, and odd assortment of magazines scattered on the various tables confirmed that the woman was in the right place. She signed in at the front desk and sat down in an empty chair to wait her turn. Rebuking herself for forgetting something to do in the meantime, she picked up a magazine and absentmindedly began leafing through it while she took note of the others ahead of her.

Nestled in one corner of the room was a bright-eyed couple laughing and talking over the contents of their own magazine. “Amazing,” she thought. “To look at them, you’d think they were waiting for a Christmas present, not a needle and an oversized bill.” Drawn into listening in spite of herself, she discovered they were picking out furniture for a baby’s nursery. They must have months yet to wait, for their glowing faces were the only visible signs so far. Looking down at her own bare left hand, she shifted in her chair, covering her fingers with the magazine in her lap. At her age, she probably would never know their joy. The nurse’s voice jolted her out of her reverie, and the laughing couple followed her out of the room.

Taking up the magazine in earnest, the woman had nearly finished reading an article on the latest Nobel Prize recipients when the bell over the door jingled. She looked up to see a newcomer enter, a bit clumsily due to her newly expanded waistline. Scanning the now-full room, the woman realized the seat next to her was the only vacant one. “Great,” she thought, “and this one looks like a talker.” Consequently, when the expectant mother quietly sat down with only a smile of greeting, her observer was so surprised she stared as the newcomer lifted a bag into the remains of her lap, carefully extracted the beginnings of a tiny sweater, and commenced knitting. Never even looking at her watch, she quickly became absorbed in her work, as though content to wait for hours.

Soon the nurse called her own name and she left the waiting room, quickly to forget the scenes of the morning in the business at hand.

We, however, remain “in the waiting room.” For us, that means waiting to move to India. For others of you, it means waiting for a baby to come, or waiting to be married, or a return to good health, or waiting for a better job, or… Regardless of our individual circumstances, we are all waiting for the return of our Lord Jesus Christ and our true Home in His presence.

So how do we spend our time in the waiting room? Do we fret and chafe that our hopes are delayed? (All too often the answer is yes.) Let us remember, though, that God is never wrong and never late. Whatever my situation in life, it has been especially chosen by Him to make me more like Jesus. Our waiting room becomes His classroom, designed to teach us and mold our character.

The people of the parable illustrate some of the lessons Amore and I are learning in our waiting room. Like the first woman, we are learning acceptance of our present lot in life. We don’t know with certainty when – or even if – God’s will may take us to India [dear reader, He didn’t, except for a short teaching trip], but we can know God’s will for today, whether that means dealing with computer problems and dirty dishes or studying, teaching, and writing. It is tempting to waste the opportunities for joy in this part of the path in wishing for whatever lies around the next bend in the road. I have often needed the reminder in Jim Elliot’s words: “Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” It would be a tragedy to miss the Beth-Marie’s ice cream and mochas right here in Denton simply because they are not samosas and chai!

Like the couple in the story, we are also learning to watch expectantly… NOT for a child, but for our coming move. This comes more naturally to Amore than to me, probably due to his background as a missionary kid-turned-missionary. In fact, we have learned that change is his comfort zone! For me on the other hand, change causes much anxiety unless my thoughts are centered on this very small animal’s Very Big God. Granted, our expectation of moving to India may come to pass much more slowly than we anticipate, or perhaps not at all. Our hope lies not so much in fulfillment of the goal itself as in God’s unfailing faithfulness and goodness. At this writing, things are gradually coming together for us to move this year, but we are confident that if the Lord shuts the door to India, He will give us bread not a stone.

Finally, as we wait and watch to see what God will do, we are learning to work diligently at what God gives us here, both in the daily responsibilities of life and in specific tasks to prepare for a new culture. Concerning the former, Amore still has computer responsibilities at the office, along with taking a couple of men through Bible Study Methods, discipling another, and substituting at other Biblical Training Center for Pastors (BTCP) classes on a pretty regular basis. His part of the curriculum committee has been both demanding and rewarding, as well. I mostly work as his administrative assistant, cook, and housekeeper (and wife, lol). As time permits, I meet with a few precious “little sisters” to encourage them in their pursuit of God. Also, I am trying to wrap up a study of Esther to teach on our upcoming SE Asia trip.

More intentional India preparation has been taking a lot of time as well. We have continued meeting weekly with our teammate, M. S., resumed cultural study, and begun study of the Hindi language. The Lord has also kept us busy keeping up with doors He’s opened to meet with friends and acquaintances who desire to participate in this ministry through prayer and/or giving. It has been very encouraging to see His hand at work to build our support team and link us with the people of His choice as we simply focus on Him and obedience in what He assigns day by day. At the current pace, we hope to make the overseas move in early fall, contingent on support, visas, etc.

Basically, that’s “whazzup” with us. What about you? For all of us, “let us take care how we…” wait.

(From Rose Garden Gazette, April 2000)

Coming back to 2026, I feel these thoughts have aged pretty well, even though we went to Thailand, not India, and we only stayed a year because of my health collapse due to lupus. We waited for things that never happened, and ensuing years brought so very many big changes we didn’t even know to anticipate.

This old essay came back to my thoughts recently as we spent most of the summer waiting for things connected to our move. We are fairly settled in the new place, although there are still frequent scavenger hunts to locate this or that, and not many of the pictures have been hung. We are still waiting, however. Amore and I are waiting for our old house to sell, and it has been a longer wait than anticipated. Prayers are appreciated for the right buyer soon, and for someone who will love the house and garden and continue to care for them well.

You may be waiting for something yourself: a job, a college acceptance, a prior authorization, a prodigal’s return, a diagnosis, a cure, news of all kinds. May the Lord sustain your hope in Him in all our waiting, and especially the groaning wait for His return.

The Scottish-South African pastor Andrew Murray (1828-1917) wrote a 31-day devotional called Waiting on God. Please pray with me using his words from that book.

Blessed Father! We humble beseech Thee, let none that wait on Thee be ashamed; no, not one. Some are weary, and the time of waiting appears long. And some are feeble, and scarcely know how to wait. And some are so entangled in the effort of their prayers and their work, they think that they can find no time to wait continually. Father, teach us all how to wait. Teach us to think of Thee, the God of all waiting ones. Father! Let none that wait on Thee be ashamed, for Jesus’ sake. Amen.

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Prayer is the most important support and enables me to keep writing through chronic illness, cancer, and every other adventure Aslan sends.

Courage, dear hearts!

So as not to worry you, I myself do not have a new chronic diagnosis or cancer recurrence, thanks be to God. However, I have heard of more new diagnoses these last 2 or 3 years than in any other period of my life. Not yet having written a prayer for such occasions, I have been simmering one for any who have need. Your feedback is welcome. Please let me know if there are specific omissions to supply in future drafts or in future prayers on the same topic. Courage, dear hearts.

God of all comfort, God who heals:I bring You the grief and relief,the anxiety, overwhelm, and lonelinessof this new diagnosis.

Thank You that this has not surprised You;thank You that it can neither separate me from Your lovenor thwart Your purposes for my life,nor diminish my value in Your sight.

Father of mercies, Great Physician:Lead me to wise, skilled, compassionate doctorswho will not minimize, psychologize, or dismiss my symptoms,but faithfully fulfil their sworn duty of care.

Send one or two loyal companions,undeterred by the chronicity of suffering,not seeking to fix, but willing to stay,steady in the unsteadiness of my path.Hold up those who hold up my arms in this battle.

Take from me this bitter cup of suffering if You will;if not, sweeten my Marah with Your cross and communion.Enlighten my eyes to see my scars as Your faithful love inscribed on my body—”Hither by Thy help I come”—As a point of communion with the eternally nail-scarred risen Christ.Let me know You in this infirmityin ways I could not receive without it.

You are good in this;You are good to me:You are the best of friends,my soul’s Physician,who will never abandon or failme, for Jesus’ sake.

Amen.

You may also find encouragement in these posts from the archives:

Jesus and Autoimmune Disease

And

Thirteen Lessons from 13 Years of Writing Through Chronic Illness

When my soul clings to the dust,

Let me cling to Your testimonies!

Your Word is water for my parched soul,

Honeyed bread for my weary heart,

Breath for my fainting spirit.

Lead me in the way of faithfulness,

To love and love and love

And follow

Your glorious Word.

Enlarge my heart to run after You

When You lead the way.

Deliver me from the shame and

Reproach which I dread.

Deliver me from dread of man

And fill me with dread awe of You.

Hold me fast, Lord, to Yourself and Your Word.

Hold me up, that I might not fall away.

Hold me close, for the way is hard,

And only Your love holds my melting soul together.

Small Life Update

Dear Crumbles,

My apologies for neglecting you so in recent weeks. The above was actually composed around the time the last post was published, but I haven’t managed to get the photo captions and recording added to bring it across the finish line.

We are in the midst of a major life transition, namely, selling my dad’s house and our house and buying a home together in a different nearby town. All things considered, it has gone very well. We are grateful for the new place and all the things on our wish list which it affords. Gradually, we are exploring the new neighborhood and getting our bearings.

Moose Tracks is very happy with his live-in Grandpaw and bigger backyard, although the Lunch Lady still insists on swimming in his big outside water bowl. ;)

The upheaval notwithstanding, this week is our anniversary, yours and mine: 16 years of the crumbs blog, beginning at crumbsfromhistable.com and now here. I couldn’t resist peeking up from the labyrinth of boxes (diminishing but not gone) to say hello and well met, friends.

There are so many things I want to write and say to you, but this must suffice for now.

How are things in your neck of the woods? Is your household preparing for the new school year? How is your Bible reading going? Have you listened to any unpausable audiobooks lately that would make good company for unpacking and household chores?

I pray this finds you as well as may be. If you are a brother or sister in chronic illness, may the Lord give you a stable or improving baseline and protect you from all injuries and illnesses that might cause a crash. May you know the love of God in every situation and circumstance.

I’ll close with a brief prayer from the Puritan Thomas Watson:

O God, You are our God: our strong tower, our fountain of living water, our Father, a Father of mercies, an everlasting Father in heaven. O God, You are our God, by Your grace planted in us, and by the pledge of Your Spirit.

May He stamp the imprint of holiness in our hearts; embroidering and bespangling our souls, making them glorious within.

May He, by His magnetic virtue, draw our hearts to you: our paradise of delight and our chief treasure!

May our hearts be so chained to You that nothing else can enchant us or draw us from You.

Though our flesh be on earth, may our hearts be in heaven.

When You say to our souls, “You are mine,” may our souls answer:

“Lord, we are Yours; all I have is at Your service; my head shall be Yours to study You; my tongue shall be Yours to praise You.”

O God, You are our God.

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The great-crested flycatchers have returned for the season. Photos at crumbsfromhistable.substack.com

Blessed Are the Desperate A Poem Blessed are those who are out of their depths, Facing whelms impassable without an ark Or a parting of the waves so complete That the soggy mud of river bottom Unsquelches and hardens into pavement For multitudes to cross. Blessed are the wilderness wanderers, Led, not lost, yet nonetheless Out of water, out of food, out of options, Unless their Shepherd supplies their need. Blessed are the desperate, For never can they forget their desperate Dependence on God— True of all of us, All of the time, Yet so easily forgotten In level lands and well-stocked shelves. Blessed are the needy, Crying out to God, For they shall find Him faithful.

N.B.: Moose Tracks is healthy at this writing. Multiple friends have recently lost dear pets. This post is for y’all.

A Prayer

Father of life, Creator of all creatures great and small:

Thank You for the good gift of our heart animals, the creature companions who help us better understand Your love. You know the tally of each sparrow’s days and the quota of tail wags, walks, belly rubs, and purrs for each dog and cat we love. You know how many skins each reptile sheds, how many canters around each horse’s paddock, how many gambols of each goat, how many bubbles from each fish.

You also know how big is the hole left when our beloved pet’s days come to an end. It hurts, and the memories of those final moments can feel stronger than all the good that came before.

Pour in comfort that overflows the cavern of grief. Help us to look to You in our sadness, for every good thing in our precious animals is an arrow pointing to You. Keep our hearts open to love, despite this intense reminder that love means pain too.

Lord, we wait earnestly for the restoration of all things, when You will wipe away every tear and death will be no more. There all mourning will be comforted; there all sorrow and sighing will flee. Nothing will be lacking for our joy, and everything will be provided for our joy.

God of lilies and sparrows, look with tender mercy on our grief, and send plentiful reminders that You are with us in the middle of it and treasure us infinitely more than we love our creature companions.

In Jesus’ name, we lift our grief and gratitude. Amen.

The Electing Love of God and the Ebony Dog

Dogs pick their people, or so they say.

With God, We don’t have to redact our wrestlings, Airbrush our mascara trails, Mute our howls of anguish, Bury our fears. Whatever the heights or depths Of our feelings, He can bear them. Whether I jump for joy Or collapse on the closet floor, Sobbing, Or pound puny fists on His chest, He invites me to come In all my raw reality. Even better, He desires me to come; He treasures my tears in his bottle, Records my sorrows in His book, Dances with my joys. He is brighter than my darkest days, Bigger than my heaviest burdens, Eternal in His love and mercy and Justice and holiness. Because He is the Lord And my Lord, Joy is my inheritance forever, Even if the earthly worst should come For now.

“Though the fig tree does not bud And there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though the flocks disappear from the pen and there are no herds in the stalls, yet I will celebrate in the Lord; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! The Lord my Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights! For the choir director: on stringed instruments.” ‭‭Habakkuk‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬-‭19‬ ‭CSB‬‬

[The brown and white bird with golden eye, perched on the black metal garden fence, is a brown thrasher. We have enjoyed its visits to Wingshadow this spring, despite its apparent dislike of paparazzi. In size, it resembles a robin.]

How glorious Your garments, Great High Priest,

P.S. We recently spotted a scissor-tailed flycatcher (photo below) who graciously accepted our request for photos. Have you seen any new-to-you birds lately?

To Live Well, the latest book by O. Alan Noble, would make an excellent book for graduates and intergenerational mentoring. My brief review is here:

GoodReads review.

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“What does it matter? Only that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice.”

Philippians 1:18 CSB

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. By his own choice, he gave us birth by the word of truth so that we would be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”

James 1:17-18 CSB

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“Since you have purified yourselves by your obedience to the truth, so that you show sincere brotherly love for each other, from a pure heart love one another constantly, , because you have been born again — not of perishable seed but of imperishable — through the living and enduring word of God. For ‘All flesh is like grass, and all its glory like a flower of the grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord endures forever.’ And this word is the gospel that was proclaimed to you.”

1 Peter 1:22-25 CSB

Scripture quotations marked CSB have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright © 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible® and CSB® are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.

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“Look at ships too: Though they are so large and driven by harsh winds, they are steered by a tiny rudder wherever the pilot’s inclination directs. So too the tongue is a small part of the body, yet it has great pretensions. Think how small a flame sets a huge forest ablaze. And the tongue is a fire! The tongue represents the world of wrongdoing among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the entire body and sets fire to the course of human existence – and is set on fire by hell. For every kind of animal, bird, reptile, and sea creature is subdued and has been subdued by humankind. But no human being can subdue the tongue; it is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse people made in God’s image.”

James 3:4-9 NET

Tongues of Fire

O true and living Word,

Forgive my lava words,

Words which would burn and destroy.

Cleanse and heal the anger, fear, and bitterness from which they come.

Cleanse and heal the wounds of others’ searing words in my heart.

Fill my mouth instead with words which sustain the weary,

Hearten the discouraged,

Give good news to the suffering,

Offer grace to the burdened and shamed,

Lighten the darkness,

Speak truth with love,

And teach Your words of life accurately.

When the true, kind, and necessary words must wound to heal,

Make them also loving, tender, and gentle,

Binding up the pain with comfort and blessing.

Fill my heart at all times with Your love and goodness,

That the words which overflow may revive and strengthen the hearers

To love and follow Christ in the power of the Spirit.

“May my words and my thoughts be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my sheltering rock and my redeemer.”

Psalms 19:14 NET

Amen.