Cryptidiots

The Idiots investigate the Van Meter Visitor, a nine-foot-tall, bat-winged cryptid with a stench so powerful it may erase your memory. They also discuss the Silurian Hypothesis, play a

literature-themed round of CrypTrivia, and debate whether skunk spray technically counts as a fart, all leading up to the Van Meter Visitor taking on the Mantis Man in a Cryptid-Off that ends with the first coin toss in Cryptidiots histor

Mantis alive! What an ep! Dan and John are separated by time and space, but connected by a love for bringing you all such truly groundbreaking content as Dr Phil, the (unofficial) UFO Ambassador for the US (and that's true), proof of Aliens via a haphazardly scrawled note, and tales of a little Cryptid known as the Mantis Man. So come on in!

The Idiots head into the Ozarks in search of a bear-sized, red-eyed creature with a horrifying howl and the unfortunate possibility of simply being a sick normal animal. Along the way, Dan debuts “Scary Presidential” with tales of Abraham Lincoln’s ghost and a dong-hanging Winston Churchill, reenacts first-hand testimony of someone who encountered the Howler in the 1800s, and diagnoses America’s desperate need for a new Walter Matthau.

AUDIO ISSUES :( Well it happened, a goblin got into the clockwork of John's laptop and poisoned our audio files. But, being the fastidious professionals we are, we recorded a backup! It's just a bit low quality. Nonetheless, please enjoy this episode wherein John updates the world on the Moon, Snake, Jimothy, and podcast traitors while Dan gets tricksy with the Azeban. Okay we love you, say nice things about us bye!

Dan comes back from being gone for weeks bearing a strange incantation from a pocket universe, and a military whistleblower writes in with some unique insight and compliments. The Idiots also discuss some new Bigfoot evidence from an expert named Snake, before covering this week’s cryptid,  the Kandahar Giant, a 13-foot tall gentle giant (if you ignore the murdering) who turned into a modern military legend after soldiers annoyed him while he was minding his own business.

Dan is missing and presumed dead, so this week John takes a solo journey to the far reaches of the Nolanverse. In an episode that doubles as John’s audition to be a sleep stories reader, he covers the epics tales of Jimothy (probably the world’s most famous deformed raccoon) and The Odyssey, including its cyclops character Polyphemus.

The boys are back and better than ever (which we can all agree is a low bar). This week we discuss how we can become millionaires with the next big Cryptid franchise. And we dig deep into the Norse Draugr. Get on in here!

These big dumb idiots have never been dumber folks! John does is best bambino impression living his best life at a football match disrupted by aliens with angel hair?! And discuss possibly the most unfairly stacked cryptid in existence: the Grootslang.

The boys are back in town! After a few pre-records you've got the idiots live and in your stereo this time to wish you a happy Summer Solstice, match Cryptids to World Cup teams, and discuss one of the stranger Crytids on the market: the Telepathic Football.

Hey, I’m skinwalking here! In this episode the Cryptidiots discuss the Skinwalkers of Navajo legend and dispel many misconceptions about their lore. They also name and shame the creators of Skinwalker Ranch (booo!) and the history channel program Ancient Aliens (booo!), but ironically are also interrupted by an Earth TV transmission (bloop!).